That's One Half My Goddess
by scriviner
Summary: A rather old fic of mine from the late 90's. The very first multi-part fic I ever completed one of very few . With Geocities now gone, I realized belatedly that I no longer had this fic archived anywhere on the net that I knew of, so here it is now.
1. Chapter 1

EDITED New Author's Notes: Below is an oldie. A fanfic of mine from the late 90's and one of the first multiparters I ever managed to finish on the old FFML mailing list. There are still severe formatting problems on here and I'll try to straighten them out in time, but frankly, what looked good on old text message based e-mail systems tends to look like utter crap on a modern webpage. Please bear with it, as it will be corrected in due time, as you may notice the procedure's begun on this chapter, along with a couple of very minor spelling and grammar fixes. The rest of the text from this point on, is more or less the stuff I wrote over ten years ago:

This is something a little different from the other  
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit  
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other.  
Despite the names shared by these characters with their  
originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their  
namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit  
more mature, but still keeping a bit of absurdity to keep things  
interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of  
cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not  
cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story  
to

Standard fanfic disclaimer averring that all characters,  
situations, places and events with even a vague resemblance to  
the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever  
did Koko wa Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably  
was borrowed in the first place. Apologies to all. Rights are  
to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.

I hereby present, for the reader's perusal:

**Sore wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama.  
(That's 1/2 My Goddess.)  
**_A Ranma 1/2 - Oh! My Goddess semi-crossover fanfic by  
Scriviner  
_**  
PART I: Of Things Free and Unwished For**

Just a short distance away from the campus of the Nekomi Institute of Technology was the Greenwood Dorm and Dojo. It was a generally quiet little place in a generally quiet little  
neighborhood. Most of the time.

The thing is, you see, the Greenwood D & D was a men's dorm. Not only that... it was the dorm of used by the N.I.T. Martial Arts Varsity team. The place where most of the school's  
best fighters ended up. As a result, a lot of the students who lived here were healthy strapping men of action, little given to introspection or peaceful contemplation. In simple terms this  
meant lots of big, strong martial artists with short tempers and a knack for causing plenty of property damage. Greenwood was well loved by the local building contractors for their contributions to the local economy and much hated by insurance companies for the constant damage the place kept sustaining. This was probably the only dormitory in town which had a policy covering incidental obscure weaponry damage (including the infamous bandanna,  
umbrella, broom and toilet-training potty subclauses), Chi strikes, and incidental furniture damage by hurling. As things stood now, it looked like their rates were going to go up once  
more. They were at it again. Three of the dorm's residents were running down the main hall to the dojo. To put things more precisely, two of the men were chasing a third. That was Ranma  
Saotome. This sort of thing was generally a prelude to trouble.

Ranma was already breathing hard as his two dorm mates chased him. He was a handsome young man in his early twenties dressed in a red Chinese shirt and some comfortable pants. His  
hair, which was pulled back into a short braid, bounced back and forth as he ducked and dodged the various bandannas, knives, yoyos and furniture that were being lobbed in his direction.

Aside from his two pursuers Ranma had an unusual problem. Women. They loved him. They really, really loved him. He had his own fan club and everything.

It wasn't as if he did anything to encourage them.

If anything, he actively tried to discourage them. It didn't work, of course. They still popped up in the hallways and in his classes, giving him gifts, love letters, inviting him to dinner, dropped by the dorm on the flimsiest of excuses. Another man might have settled back and just enjoyed it, Mikado Sanzenin of the combat skating team came to mind, but Ranma vehemently disliked it.

He didn't dislike the girls personally or the food (his father had raised him to never turn down anything free) but all of the attention tended to be distracting during training. Also, there were only so many jealous boyfriends, irate brothers, and angry fathers a man could take at one time. His dorm mates didn't like it all that much either. They claimed that their own training was starting to suffer because of all the distractions caused by Saotome's fans. Actually, they were mostly just jealous.

They finally managed to corner him in the dojo.

"Nowhere to run, Saotome. Give up now and we might go easy on you," said one of the men.

"Maybe..." said the other ominously cracking his knuckles.

"No way, man!" said Ranma defiantly.

The fellow he addressed was an impressively muscled, heavy set man dressed in a brown shirt with torn sleeves and an old pair of beige jeans. He had a tiger striped bandanna to hold  
back his shock of black hair. His face was currently twisted into a scowl. This was Ryoga Hibiki. He was not happy. He was rarely happy. The true reasons for which may become clearer at a  
later date, but as far as he was concerned, there was only one consistent source of his aggravation and he was currently shouting at it.

"Ranma! I told you already! It's your turn to stay and watch the dorm!"

The other man, taller than Ryoga and with a far more slender build nodded in agreement. He was wearing a long white overcoat and a pair of ridiculously thick glasses. He was good looking in an oddly predatory manner and had long black hair which fell straight to the small of his back. His arms were folded across his chest as he sent a look of amused contempt towards Ranma. This was Mousse, a Chinese exchange student and one of Ranma's dormmates.

He noted in calm tones, "Hibiki is right, Saotome. you've been going out every night with your women for the past three weeks, leaving us with the duty of watching over the dorm. You are the only one who has not completed his dorm sitting obligation in over a month," he continued even as he took a moment to clean his glasses on the cuff of his sleeve, "It is only fitting that this  
entire week be yours, eh?" As he slipped his glasses back on, Mousse realized with some small measure of embarrassment that he was talking to the punching bag. The other two tactfully  
avoided any comment.

"Aw, c'mon you guys! They aren't MY women and it's not like I ask them out, or anything..." began Ranma, "They're the ones chasing me--"

"That makes it worse!" Ryoga interrupted, "They waltz in here and drag you out to the movies or dinner even in the middle of training sessions, it's getting embarrassing, Ranma! All those girls chasing you..." Ryoga's hands had already balled into fists.

"Even when you're supposed to be guarding the dojo, you manage to sneak a girl or two in by the time we get back. It just isn't done..." Mousse added disapprovingly.

"I don't sneak them in, they sneak in on their own." Ranma replied. "Ahh... You guys are just jealous," he added under his breath.

"What was that, Saotome?" asked Mousse in low and dangerous tones.

Ryoga took it a little more personally, roaring, "That does it, Saotome! I've had enough of you, you arrogant little--" Ryoga leapt into the air sending a flurry of bandannas ripping straight at Ranma's head. Ranma managed to jump to one side in order to avoid the bandannas leaving them  
to embed into the Dojo's floor. Mousse, with exquisite timing stepped back and released a storm of chains, ropes and various other less identifiable things from the sleeves of his overcoat. Ranma, who had left himself open while avoiding the bandannas was soon wrapped tight in steel and string. He fell to the ground struggling to break free of his bonds.

Ryoga landed with a little smile on his lips, "Now, Ranma... we're sure you'll be staying your shift."

"I'll get you guys for this!!"

"No doubt you'll try, Saotome. We'll be back in a few hours. Make sure to take any messages and to clean up while we're gone," said Mousse, turning his back on Ranma and walking purposefully towards the door. He was smiling as he flipped his glasses up onto his head.

"Hey, at least let me out of these chains first you guys!!"

Ryoga walked with Mousse towards the dojo's door and cracked his knuckles, "You can get out of those on your own, Ranma. Oh yeah..." Ryoga said turning to look at Ranma again, a broad smile on his face, "Mousse and I already talked to the dorm manager... If anybody catches another of your girls in here, you are going to get kicked out of this dorm. No more  
violations will be tolerated."

"But I don't help them sneak in, you stupid jerks!"

"That's what you say," replied Mousse cynically then added in an amused tone, "Try not to scratch the floor too much squirming around, Saotome."

Ryoga and Mousse laughed as they walked out of the dojo, interrupted only briefly by Mousse running face first into the wall next to the door.

"Dumb jerks..." muttered Ranma to himself as he started snapping the chains one after another. Half an hour later, only his ankles were still bound when the phone in the common room suddenly rang.

"Oh great," Ranma muttered to himself as he half bounced, half stumbled out of the dojo, "I wonder who that is?"

"Hello?" Ranma asked into the phone's receiver.

"Hello, sir, " said a soft woman's voice on the other end of the line, "This is the Goddess Relief Office, we will be sending our representative there shortly. Please stand by..."

"Hey, who is this--" Ranma managed to blurt, before realizing that he was talking to the dial tone.

Ranma frowned at the phone. He was used to strange women calling him and leaving odd messages, but this was a new one. He shrugged it off as just another girl trying to get his  
attention. He'd had enough of that. He stretched a little and decided to take a little soak to relax himself.

As he walked to the bath Ranma was actually glad the Ryoga and Mousse had saddled him with dorm sitting duty. With Shinosuke, Konatsu and Tarou in the country for the semestral break, and Gosunkugi at another of his Dark Ritual of Summoning Meetings, Ranma had the dorm all to himself. Provided none of his would be self-appointed girlfriends showed up, he thought  
that he would finally have a nice relaxing evening. A little peace and quiet was precisely what he needed just now. Too bad he wasn't going to get any.

Ranma was sitting up in the hot bath with his eyes closed, gently dozing. "Blessed silence at last," murmured Ranma just as a sudden burst of light illuminated the bathroom.

Ranma's eyes flew open to see a widening black circle on the surface of the water. Light seemed to be pouring out from the circle and energy crackled at its edges as it grew. Ranma blinked his eyes, trying to get used to the light when he got the vague impression of a form rising from the circle. Suddenly the light was gone and there she was.

Long seconds passed as she stood over Ranma with her feet on the opposite sides of the tub, looking rather shocked at his state of dress (or undress). She was in a white outfit, trimmed in red which looked vaguely like a short dress, with matching boots, gloves and jacket. Strapped to her back was a large, oddly mechanical looking hammer also in red and white.

Her long black hair was drawn into a ponytail, that reached to just behind her knees. Ranma had just enough time to notice that despite her surprised expression she was also rather cute.

Before Ranma got a chance for a closer look, she'd whipped the hammer off her back and brought it up over her head with both hands, in an attack position. She screamed, "You  
pervert!!" as she brought the hammer down on Ranma's head.

Ranma's reflexes barely saved him as he ducked under the water and surfaced behind her. Her hammer crashed into the water, missing him by inches and slammed into the tub's floor,  
cracking it. Half of the water in the tub was sent splashing out onto the bathroom floor.

"Hey stop that you idiot!" shouted Ranma at the girl. Realizing that this pervert was now behind her, the girl tore the mallet loose from the floor, whirled around swinging the mallet in a wide flat arc. Dripping wet and rather naked, Ranma jumped onto the hammer, and vaulting from it,  
launched himself across the room towards the towel rack. Ranma's unexpected weight on the hammer made the girl lose her grip.

Undeterred, the girl jumped at Ranma from her position on the side of the tub, ready to pound him to oblivion, with or without her weapon.

Ranma managed to grab one of the towels off the rack as the girl closed in. Ranma tried to simultaneously dodge the girl, tie the towel around his waist and run for the bathroom door.  
He would have made it too, if only the floor hadn't been so wet.

With a cry of "Who's an idiot, you pervert?!" the girl rushed Ranma.

He managed to neatly sidestep her blow as he tucked in a corner of the towel. He took another step toward the door as the girl suddenly changed tactics and whirled around to drive an elbow into his gut. Ranma slipped suddenly on the wet floor and struck the girl's elbow with his nose. Hard. Her blow sent him flying into the opposite wall. He stuck to the wall for a few seconds before sliding off and leaving a shallow Ranma shaped impression in the shattered tiles of the wall.

"What's going onnnnn..?" Ranma managed to say before slipping into unconsciousness.

The girl seemed to calm down as she realized that the pervert was now out cold.

"Serves him right," she muttered. She took a good look at him, now sprawled on the floor, and a look of confusion passed across her eyes suddenly followed by horror. She murmured aloud, suddenly appalled, "Oh no... was that the client?"

Meanwhile, one floor up and a few doors down the hall from the bathroom, was Hikaru Gosunkugi's room. It vaguely resembled a cross between NASA mission control and an occult  
antique shop.

While it wasn't unheard of for some of Gosunkugi's stuff to glow, that was usually because he'd spilled luminescent paint on it by accident. One of his numerous pieces of camera equipment suddenly began to glow, without apparent cause. Much as Gosunkugi would have liked to believe it, that wasn't normal.

The diffuse light coalesced slowly and began to gather itself about the camera's lens. The light collapsed on itself creating a tiny pinpoint on the lens through which a beautiful redheaded young woman suddenly, impossibly stepped through. She looked around her in confusion and called out, "Hello? Anybody home?"

Ranma was in his room as he woke up slowly. He'd just had an awful nightmare where he was being chased by this mad woman with a mallet. It took a moment for him to realize that he was  
still dressed only in a towel and that he was not alone. The girl from his dream was sitting next to him on the bed, the immense hammer now strapped to her back once more. She smiled tentatively at him. Up close he could see that she had some sort of odd triangular markings on her forehead and at the corners of her eyes and she wasn't much younger than he was.

Ranma winced as he felt his nose, "You're not going to hit me again, are you?"

"I'm really sorry about that, Saotome-san... this is my first job in the field and I was a little nervous."

"How do you know my name?"

"We're supposed to know all about our clients, Saotome-san."

Clients? thought Ranma to himself.

"Clients of the Goddess Relief Office," she clarified.

Ranma sat up, "What are you talking about? Was that you on the phone a while ago?" he asked, remembering the strange phone call.

The girl looked as though she were about to answer when something else occurred to him, "How the heck did you get into the bathroom? What were you doing in there?" then added to himself quietly, "No, wait... I know what she was doing in there, she were trying to smash me to a pulp..."

"For which I'm really sorry Saotome-san," she said answering his unspoken thought, "Let me introduce myself first, I am Akane Tendo, Goddess of Conflicts 1st class, 2nd category,  
limited license..." she said showing him her business card.

"A goddess... with a business card?" said Ranma skeptically, "Yeah. Right. Pull the other one."

"... and I am here to give you one wish. Nearly any wish you could want," Akane continued brightly.

"Very original..." said Ranma looking annoyed, "You're the most creative girl who's tried to sneak in here so far."

"I beg your pardon?" asked Akane, confused.

O-O-O-O

The redhead was having a little trouble finding her client. She was quite certain that he would be in the building at least, but so far she had not had much luck. She'd found a couple of risque magazines, a cell phone, an unopened can of soda and a walkman... but nothing much client-wise.

She was a little short, but not that it really mattered, since she was floating a couple of inches off the ground anyway. She was very attractive possessing a certain delicate feminine charm. Her shock of long red hair was in a braid which reached to her waist. Her clothes consisted of a  
multilayered ensemble of white and purple which seemed to shift as she walked. Her blue eyes betrayed confusion as she peeked into each of the rooms in turn. So far, still nothing. No  
matter... she'd find this Saotome person eventually, she thought to herself as she passed through the door of another locked room.

"Original," continued Ranma, "I mean most of the girls who come here just drop off candy or food or special free pizza deliveries, or something."

"What are you talking about?" she said her brow furrowing as she seemed to understand something, "You think I'm here because I like you!?!" she started to laugh.

It was now Ranma's turn to be confused. "What's so funny?"

"Its just that I've never seen such a large ego on a mortal before..!" she replied before breaking into fresh gusts of laughter.

"Large ego?!" Ranma replied, incensed, "What would you know, you uncute girl!"

Akane, suddenly frowned at him in mid laugh, "What did you call me?!"

"Uncute!" Ranma replied without thinking, as was his wont. "I thought so..." she said as she pulled a smaller mallet from somewhere inside her jacket and walloped Ranma to the  
floor.

"Now..." she said taking a moment to put away the smaller hammer, "Who were you calling uncute, Saotome-san?" said Akane to Ranma who had been knocked to the floor.

Ranma put a hand to his head as he got back on the bed. His ears were still ringing from that unexpected blow. She wasn't acting like one of the girls who normally had a crush on  
him, he thought to himself. Usually those girls did their violence to each other, not to him... it was usually the angry boyfriends he had to worry about.

"Precisely, Saotome-san." said Akane smugly. "I don't have a crush on you," she seemed to find something immensely amusing about the concept.

Ranma's brow furrowed in thought, This has got to be the strangest attempt by a woman to break into the Dojo yet...

"It does seem a little strange," Akane admitted in reply to his thoughts, "But I'd also like to point out, Saotome-san, that as Goddess I'm incapable of lying..."

"Wait a minute. I just realized something... you've been answering my questions--"

"...before you say them. For the duration of our interview, I am allowed to read your thoughts in order to better anticipate your every need."

"You're reading my mind?" he asked.

"Not entirely... just your surface thoughts." she smiled.

"Okay so what am I thinking now?" Ranma asked, trying to think about onigiri, but somehow unable to keep his thoughts of how cute she looked out of his head...

Akane blushed a little, and smiled, "Er... thanks. I'm flattered."

"About onigiri?" asked Ranma, puzzled.

"No... you were thinking about how... er... cute I... um..." Akane continued, blushing.

Ranma's eyes bugged out a little. "So... um... You're sure you're not... er... You mean you're not another of my... erhm..." asked Ranma, now rather embarrassed.

Akane sobered enough to supply the word, "...groupies? No, not at all," she smiled at him again. Ranma couldn't help but smile back. She was just so cute. "I told you, Saotome-san, I'm here to give you your wish."

"Could you just call me Ranma, please... Akane, right?"

"Okay."

"So let me get this straight... a wish?"

"Mmm-hm. One wish." Akane said holding up one finger.

"So what can I wish for? Can I wish to have the world destroyed?"

"Actually, you could, but we don't like to do business with that kind of client. That's why there's a strict screening process."

"So why me?"

Akane just shrugged. "You fit the criterion."

Ranma felt oddly flattered by that, "So I could ask for anything, short of world destruction?"

"Pretty much."

"Hmm... I have to think about this..." he muttered quietly to himself, "World domination..? Nah... richest man in the world..? Nah... world's best martial artist..? nah..."

Ranma's head suddenly snapped up as he realized something.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly ten thirty," Akane replied, mentally checking the time, "Why?"

"You've got to get out of here!" said Ranma, panic rising in his voice, "My dorm mates are arriving soon, if they catch another girl in here because of me, I'm going to get kicked out of here!"

"Well then you'd better make your wish fast, then..."

"I'm too worried to make a wish! I could wish for the wrong thing and totally ruin my life forever! I don't need this aggravation!"

"Well... what if we leave for a while, so they don't catch me here?"

"I can't leave, I have to stay here until they come home," Ranma said, every so often cocking his ears to check for the approach of Ryoga and Mousse, "Argh... Please... don't bother with the wish, just get out of here? I have enough problems, I'd rather not worry about you and a wish too..."

"You're turning down your wish?" Akane asked, shocked. "You can't do that! No one's done that in centuries!" she was also beginning to feel a rising tide of panic and depression, "It's me isn't it? Just because this is my first assignment you're picking on me..." tears were beginning to leak out of the corners of her eyes.

"Argh..! That's not what I said! It's just that you have to leave now, otherwise I'll be in really deep trouble... but its not your fault... but I'd rather not worry you... Do you understand?" he said, now concerned with both himself and her and the possibility of imminent arrivals.

Akane stood up and turned towards the door, "Fine... I'll just go back up to heaven... a failure..." she wiped her tears on the back of her hand.

She was already out the door and storming to the bathroom, down the hall before Ranma was able to catch up with her.

A few doors down and around the corner, the redhead was getting bored looking for her client. She was taking a break.

She was stretched out on Ryoga's bed, reading one of his magazines, drinking the soda she'd found all the while listening to music on the old walkman. She was a little annoyed at the  
thing too. There was something wrong with the volume control, because the sound kept getting suddenly loud, then quiet, then loud. It was starting to get on her nerves.

Despite the walkman, however, she was certain that she'd heard a noise... maybe that would be Saotome. With a resigned sigh, she got off the bed and drifted out into the corridor, not bothering to remove the head phones. That right there was a big mistake.

"Look, Akane..." he said, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder, "It's not you... girls have been after me and bothering me for most of my life. You're one of the few women I've actually been able to have a decent conversation with, even though we just met today... and you don't necessarily count as a woman because you're a goddess... and... er... um..."

Akane looked up at him, somewhat confused by his babbling. She could feel concern coming from him which made her smile a little, "Okay. I think."

"That's better. Its just that I don't want either of us to get in trouble... do you have to grant a wish?"

"Well... not really, wishes have been refused before without penalty. It's just a little embarrassing for me to come back without having granted it. Do you really want me to go?"

"Well, I enjoyed your company... um... and I don't want you to go as such... it's just... I don't really want the problems, you understand..? What if I give the wish to you?"

Akane glanced downwards momentarily, "I'm a Goddess... we're not allowed to make wishes for ourselves..."

"Oh. Um... er... Okay. So I can't give it to you..."

Akane's eyes were dry now, "All right, I understand. The wish can be returned to Heaven without problems," she favored him with a small smile, "I guess I'm not surprised the Yggradsil system picked you to receive a wish."

"Thanks," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his head with a hand, blushing faintly.

"I'd better go now before you get into any trouble..." Akane said.

"Well... will you be able to come back? I mean... when I don't have to worry about my dorm mates? Just to talk? Or something?" Ranma was quietly railing at the injustice of it all... he'd finally found a girl he liked ... unfortunately she was a Goddess.

Akane shook her head sadly, "We're not really allowed on Earth during our off duty hours..."

"Well, if it's any consolation for you... if I had to spend all my time with a girl anyway, I wish I could be with a girl like you."

The redhead turned the corner, and there he was! Her client! He was talking to some other girl... probably a girlfriend or something, she thought. He was cutie, mused the redhead... With some fumbling she tried to adjusted the volume on the Walkman.

She barely managed to catch him saying the words "...I wish I could be... a girl like you..."

A look of shock crossed her face as she heard this.

The marking on her forehead suddenly flared with brilliant light as she rose into the air.

Akane was taken by surprise by Ranma's statement... but there it was a clearly stated. The marking on her forehead suddenly flared with a brilliant light as she rose off the ground.

Ranma staggered back as Akane was enveloped suddenly in a glowing column of white light which reached through the ceiling and into the heavens. Behind him another eruption  
of light occurred and as he turned to look, he saw a beautiful redhead similarly cocooned in light.  
Within moments the effect had subsided, allowing both women float gently back to the ground.

With a single quavering voice the two women said, "Your wish is granted."

There was a brief moment of silence before the two women noticed each other and everybody started talking at the same time.

"Ranko!?" roared Akane at the redhead.

"Akane?!" said the redhead, just as surprised.

"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" said Ranma to both.

"What are you doing here?"

"Me?! What are you doing here?"

"It was my turn on the duty roster, you idiot!" Ranko said floating in Akane's direction.

"Your turn was last week! He's my client!"

"It was for today! I already granted him his wish!"

"My wish? What wish?" asked Ranma, now utterly confused.

"YOU?! I granted his wish you incompetent red headed excuse for a goddess!"

"Incompetent am I!?," Ranko said in a dangerous, silken voice as she drew back slightly. A glowing sphere was beginning to form between her hands.

"That's right... Here, let me show you how incompetent..." replied Akane pulling her hammer out of its holster. She gave the head a slight quarter twist and it began to hum in an ominous tone.

"Nobody's going to do anything to anyone until I get an explanation!!" shouted Ranma at the top of his lungs.

Ranko and Akane stopped in mid-threaten to look at him.

"Alright. Much better. Now..." he said turning to Akane, "Who's she?"

The glowing sphere Ranko was holding had disappeared and Akane had put away her weapon as well. Both women crossed their arms at the same time.

"That's Ranko," replied Akane in a sullen tone.

"Ranko, Goddess of Affection, first class, second category, limited. I'm her cousin," replied Ranko, in a tone which indicated she wasn't particularly happy about the state of affairs either.

"Fine. Much better. Now what are you doing here Ranko?" asked Ranma, trying hard not to sound as if he were talking to children.

"It was my turn for the field assignment according to the duty roster, but hammer girl over here," Ranko said nodding to Akane, "Must have misread the chart."

"And I keep telling you that it's my turn today!"

Akane retorted sharply, getting ready to pull out the maligned mallet.

"I don't care..." Ranma replied, now gritting his teeth, he was starting to get a migraine. "Now... what was that about a wish?"

"The Head Office granted your wish," said both women at the same time. They glared at each other.

"We can't have both granted him a wish, he's only authorized one!" said Ranko.

"Wait... What wish?" asked Ranma, still rather lost in this conversation, "I don't remember making a wish--"

"Yes you did," Ranko interrupted, "It was rather surprising I'll give you that much. Nobody's asked for that in at least a couple of decades..."

Akane thought for a moment then said, "We'd better check with the Head Office and clear this up," she turned to Ranma, "Can we use your phone?"

"Sure... just clear this up fast. The guys are probably on their way back by now," Ranma sighed.

"This way," he said leading them down the hall.

"Okay," Akane replied smiling at Ranma, "I'm pretty sure this will all turn out to be the henna haired harridan's fault..." she added, jerking a thumb at Ranko.

"Who are you calling a harridan, amateur?" said Ranko, incensed.

"Amateur am I?" returned Akane through gritted teeth.

"Cousins," muttered Ranma, to himself, "Of course they're cousins... some things must run in the family, I guess."

"What was that, Saotome?" Ranko suddenly asked Ranma in a silken voice.

"Erhm... nothing..." Ranma replied lamely.

Akane picked the phone up, frowning all the while and punched the buttons in an incredibly complex sequence.

"Hello, yes," Akane said into the receiver, "This is Akane, Sir... There seems to be some sort of mix up here, Sir... Both contracts are approved..? Is he getting his wish twice then..? What do you mean she sent up a different wish..? Different contracts..? Sir, why would my contract be worded like that?! Ranko's staying here too..?"

"I'm WHAT?!?!" screamed Ranko, livid.

"She's what?!" Ranma roared simultaneously.

Akane continued to talk, "Yes, Sir, Ranko's still here. I'll put her on," she handed the phone to the redhead, "Here... He wants to talk to you."

Ranko grabbed the receiver, "What do you mean I'm staying?! I sent up the wish he wanted..! There has to be some sort of mistake..! What do you mean I made the mistake..!? He's a what..?!" she added in low tones, "Oh boy... But if it was an invalid wish anyway why are we still enforcing the contract? What do you mean you don't know?! Er... sorry, Sir... Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir... I understand that's how it works, Sir... Good bye, Sir. ARGH!!!" Ranko slammed the phone back onto its cradle.

"Well?" asked Ranma expectantly.

"Well... apparently you are receiving two wishes," replied Ranko, nervously.

"What wish are you talking about? I haven't even wished for anything. I was just about to send Akane back to Heaven without giving me the wish..."

"Well..." said Akane fighting off a blush, "You sort of wished you could spend the rest of your time with a girl like me... It was interpreted to mean you wanted to spend your time with... me."

"I... I... what?" sudden realization dawning on his face, "Oh..."

"...and now we have a contract which says I will be your companion... for the rest of your life. Um... He told me the contract is... um... sort of worded like a formal betrothal."

Ranma looked as though he were ready to faint, "Betrothal!? Betrothal? But it's not really a betrothal is it?"

"Um... there's no real need for us to marry or anything... it was just the wording," said Akane vaguely. Truth to tell... if she understood it correctly they were bound in such a way that  
was even closer than any normal marriage...

"Okay... okay... " said Ranma, calming down slightly, "I think I can deal with that... what's this about another wish?"

"Er..." Ranko replied with obvious reluctance, "I sort of heard you saying that you... er wished you could be... er... agrlykmi."

"What was that? Slow down, Ranko, I didn't hear you. Wished I could be what?"

"Er... a girl like me."

"THAT'S THE OTHER WISH!!!?!?!?" roared Ranma.

"It's not my fault!" Ranko shot back.

In a fit of rage Ranma rushed forward and grabbed Ranko by her arms, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WANTED TO BE A GIRL?!?!?"

What rather surprised him was the fact that his voice came out a few octaves higher. He also noticed rather belatedly that he was now the same height as Ranko. Also... his balance  
felt distinctly... odd. Eyes glazed in shock and not daring to look down, Ranma's hands moved to touch his chest.

Rounded.

Rather well rounded. Very distinctly female.

Ranko produced a small hand mirror from somewhere and showed it to Ranma. He looked at it uncomprehendingly. The reflection looking back at him wasn't the rugged good looks and  
dark hair he'd become accustomed too. Rather it was Ranko's delicate features and red, red hair... He was now a she. This was waaaay too much. Ranma gave a full throated scream of horror before fainting dead away.

As he slumped to the floor, Akane turned a wry glance towards Ranko, "You could've handled that better you know."

"Oh shut up and wake him up. I still have to explain how it works."

Akane merely sighed. She knelt down next to Ranma, who now looked exactly like Ranko except for the shorter braid and the lack of facial markings, and gently slapped her face. "Wake  
up."

Ranma came to his senses after a few more slaps. "Ow. Stop that..." he said before realizing that his voice was now back to normal, "Hey, I'm not a woman, it was all just a bad dream..." he said happily, before noticing his current situation.

He was still on the floor, but Akane was now cradling his head somewhat. All in all not a bad position to be in if you're a man.

Long seconds passed while the two tried to sort out who ought to move first all the while Ranko stood to one side with a disgusted look on her face. "Will you two love birds stop that? Just help him get up--"

The door of the common room suddenly burst open revealing Ryoga and Mousse, followed by Gosunkugi and a few of the other dorm residents who didn't go home for vacation.

"I knew it! I knew you couldn't resist the temptation, Ranma!" said Ryoga pointing an accusing finger at him.

"You were warned, Saotome," said Mousse, "Your punishment will be most severe."

Gosunkugi didn't even bother making accusations. He simply pulled out a 35mm camera and started taking photos.

"Wait! It's not what it looks like really! I can explain!"

"Oh, really? Very well, then Saotome... I am curious as to how you intend to explain fact one," Mousse said holding up one finger, "Two women in the common room, after you'd been specifically instructed not to let them in anymore. Then there is fact two, " he continued, holding up a second finger. "The fact that you are on the floor of the common room wearing nothing but a towel, in the presence of the two aforementioned women," Ranma made a small strangled sound as he realized that he was indeed still wearing only his towel." Mousse held up a third finger, "And fact three: the fact that you are currently being held by one of these aforementioned women," Ranma and Akane both blushed as they realized their positions. Both scrambled to stand up. Mousse held up a fourth finger in triumph.

"And finally, fact four... we heard a scream of feminine anguish as we entered the dorm, no doubt you forcing yourself on the other lovely lady..." Ranko favored Mousse with a smile which caused his glasses to fog up, "Explain away that, Saotome. I dare you."

"Er... If you put it that way. This looks really bad doesn't it?" asked Ranma.

Most of the other dorm residents nodded their heads vigorously in agreement, that yes, indeed it looked really bad.

"I don't suppose we could overlook this..?"

"Enough talk, Ranma! Now take your punishment like a man! Expulsion from Greenwood!! Grab him!"

Within a matter of minutes, Ranma, Akane and Ranko were grabbed, man- (or woman-) handled and thrown out onto the street along with a small packed bag of Ranma's belongings.

Ryoga slammed shut the door with the final words, "We'll send you the rest of your stuff once you give us your new address!"

Ranma, still in the towel, looked around him in dismay. "Why is this happening to me?!" He asked the heavens.

"Bad karma?" offered Ranko with a grin.

"Let me in you jerks!!" cried Ranma, as he pounded on the door.

A small crowd of people had already gathered to watch the spectacle. Murmurs of "Isn't that Ranma?", "A towel?", "What a pervert!", "Nice tush though..." were already making  
their way around.

"I'm really sorry about this Ranma," said Akane, hesitantly, "Um... maybe you should... er... put something on first before you catch cold..."

"What are you talking abou--?" asked Ranma as he glanced down, then around.  
He gave a small strangled sound (sort of like an Aghk! only with more feeling) and ducked behind one of the trash cans.

"Hey!" he railed at the crowd, "Haven't you people got anything better to do?!"

As the people began to disperse, some shaking their heads at the state of the youth today and some with an occasional sidelong glance, even one person who took a snapshot, Ranma  
asked Akane, "Uh... could you hand me some clothes from that bag?"

"Here..." offered Akane, doing her best not to look.

"Thanks," he said as he changed into his clothes, doing his best to keep the trash can between him and the two girls.

Ranko leaned to one side to get a better view of him as he put his pants on and muttered, "Hey, that lady was right, he does have a nice tush..."

"Ranko, stop that!" said Akane, acutely embarrassed for Ranma.

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Ranko said as Ranma finished getting dressed, "Basically... Ranma will turn into a girl if he comes too close to me."

"What?!" said the other two simultaneously. "Here, watch." She moved close to Ranma, nearly touching him and suddenly, without even a puff of smoke or a three minute long transformation sequence, Ranma had turned into a nearly exact twin of Ranko. Their only major difference was in the length of hair and the face marks. Ranma's clothes were now looser in some ways, but considerably tighter in others...

"Argh!!" said the now female Ranma, "Turn me back! Turn me back!"

"That's the other thing... you change back only when Akane touches you," Ranko said, now stepping back.

"When I what!?" asked Akane

"You've got to touch him."

Akane stood next to Ranma and touched the tip of her finger to his shoulder. Just as quickly as he'd been turned into a woman, he was a man again.

"See?" said Ranko, "Simple."

"Whose idea was this?" said Ranma, examining himself, more or less trying to make certain that all of his... ahem... parts were where they were supposed to be.

"I don't know. That's what was on the contract... or so Kami-sama said."

"Kami-sama?" asked Ranma.

"Yeah. On the phone, remember?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Both girls shook their heads.

"That was hi-- I mean, that was Him?"

Both girls nodded.

"Geez... I don't think you can get a higher authority than that, I guess," then Ranma brightened perceivably, "Well, that's simple then. If you just stay away from me, I don't have to worry about turning into a woman!"

"It's not quite that easy, Ranma," said Akane, "Neither of us can be separated from you... if you try to leave either of us permanently... let's just say bad things will happen.

"Oh great..." said Ranma, hanging his head, "No place to live and stuck with two goddesses, one of whom will give me an instant sex change if I stand to close to her."

Ranko looked faintly bored and Akane was still rather embarrassed by it all.

"Let me get this straight... you've got some sort of contract with me, right? Making sure that my wishes stay fulfilled?"

Akane nodded. "But one of the wishes was faulty right? Couldn't I just have that one annulled or something?"

"Well, you see Ranma, it's not that easy. Something happened when the Ygradsil System processed your request. My contract with you is inexorably linked to Ranko's contract with  
you--"

"What she means, Saotome," interrupted Ranko, "Is that if you want to get rid of me, you have to get rid of her too..."

Ranma had to think about that. "So, how do I do that?"

"You have to break the contract... I'm not sure who did the wording, but I was told you have to break her heart to break that contract. That or if she wants to leave you and you let her."

Ranko had a sour face on. She was the goddess of affection. She knew perfectly well that this idiot human and her tomboy cousin were going to follow the dictates of their hearts. Damn.

Ranma gave a huge sigh. "Come on then you two. If I can't get rid of either of you, I've at least got to see about finding us a place to live," he picked up the bag and jerked his thumb down the road "My van's parked around the corner..."

The two goddesses shrugged and turned to follow him. As the three made their way down the curb, Ranma muttered to himself, "What else could go wrong..?"

Overhead, storm clouds rumbled ominously as though in answer.

_To be continued...._


	2. Chapter 2

**PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends **

Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was mirroring his sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He had been using the phone at Ucchan's for the better part of an hour now. It was a cozy, little, okonomiyaki restaurant. The food was good and reasonably priced, but eating here always reminded him of an old friend of his from high school for some reason, so he rarely went here. They were here because it was the only place still open in the vicinity. It's at times like this when you find out who your real friends are, he thought to himself. It was already past midnight and he still didn't have a place to stay.

None of his friends had any room for him and two women. Mostly it would be either just for him (from his female acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming from his male friends) but not all three of them.

The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's roof was starting to lull Ranma to sleep. He was exhausted and homeless. This was a truly lousy way to end a day... He glanced at his two companions to make sure they were doing okay.

Ranko was sitting contentedly at one booth nursing a hot chocolate whose contents had already taken time to congeal at the bottom of the mug. Akane on the other hand looked as miserable as  
he felt, sipping her tea. He wished that he could be with her for the rest of time... or so she'd said.

That in and of itself wasn't that bad. Ranma found that he rather liked her... even if they'd only met a few hours ago and she had a tendency to get very violent. But what did you expect from the goddess of Conflicts? Unfortunately, Ranko and a weird proximity triggered sex change curse had somehow gotten into the deal as well.

He cradled the receiver and took out his phone card. He walked back to their booth, where he sat down next to Akane, as far as possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... nothing."

Ranko shrugged and took another drink out of her almost treacle like chocolate.

"So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to admit it, but she was getting scared. She had never had to deal with anything like this before. She felt way out of her league. Her duties used to include only weather patterns and competition for food by wild animals... She wasn't used to dealing with people on a one on one basis. In the old days the extent of her dealings  
with humans only included getting them wet on schedule. The lousy weather was actually her fault. She tended to echo her sentiments to the sky... and right now she felt like crying.

"Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," said Ranko airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."

Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, what are you talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks to you and you call it a `temporary aberration'!?"

"It's not a problem. If something threatens to invalidate the contract, that is, something threatens to separate either of us from you, the `Ultimate Force' will come into play and help facilitate things and prevent contract breach. You'll see... "

Ranko said with a shrug of her smooth shoulders.

"What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.

Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what I meant when I told you bad things would happen if you tried to get rid of either of us. What she means is that there is a force which seeks to make sure that all contracts with our office are enforced. She probably thinks that since not having a home will make us want to leave you... the Ultimate Force will come into play and grant us a place to live..." she snapped her fingers, "Just like that."

"Bingo, hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the head... so to speak."

"Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"

"Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at the two, "We already got kicked out of the Nekohanten by the old ghoul because you two started fighting."

"Ahhh... what do you know, anyway?" said Ranko with a dismissive gesture.

Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the Ultimate Force?"

"Sure I do... I've been serving the Goddess Relief Office longer than you have, you know."

"Do you remember what the response time is supposed to be?"

"Yeah..." Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she seemed to realize something. Her face took on a look of acute embarrassment.

"It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?" Akane asked nastily.

"Er... yeah."

"Ranma's been looking for a place for us for a good hour now, wouldn't you say?"

"Uh-huh..." continued Ranko, not liking where the conversation was headed.

"Doesn't that tell you something?"

"Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of system error..." Ranko replied vaguely.

Akane stood up, "A temporary aberration would have been spotted an hour ago! Something is definitely wrong with our contracts if they're not getting enforced!"

"Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma, pulling Akane back down into her seat, "If I understand you correctly... your... er... `office' should have helped us find a place to stay  
by now?"

Akane and Ranko glared at each other but eventually both nodded.

"So something has got to be wrong if we haven't found a place yet? Or does it just mean that Akane won't necessarily leave me if I don't find us someplace to live?"

The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that was a distinct possibility too.  
"Hmm... does this mean the Ultimate Force will also try to keep me from... er... breaking your heart? That would lead to contract breach... right?"

Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."

"If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," said Ranko, "Don't bother. I've seen people run smack dab against the Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight."

Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and thought to himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? Why?"

He eventually said, "In any case, it looks like we'll be sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."

"The van?!!?" roared Ranko, drawing herself to her full height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly impressive, "That piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise my lovely young body scrunched up in that awful little heap!"

"Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, now do we? I don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has no more money and I don't want to sleep in some alley or on a park bench!" replied Akane, also standing up.

Ranma made shushing gestures, but both goddesses ignored him.

"Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table. Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to himself, "I don't need this aggravation..."

"What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning towards the source of the voice.

The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette with long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had just removed an apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written on it. Under the apron, was a shirt with a button down collar and blue jeans. "I couldn't help but overhearing..."

"They could hear them all the way to China..." muttered Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and walloped him on the head without looking.

"I'm closing up in a few minutes... If you folks really don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room in the back that has a couple of old futons. There should be enough room for three people. If you want, I can let you stay for the night."

"Thank you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her lashes and smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us the honor of telling us your name?"

The manager blushed and looked flustered, but eventually managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me Ukyou. I own this place, I could use some people to work here, too if you're interested. We might be able to work out a deal for you guys to live on the premises... "

Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in recognition. The name sounded oddly familiar. Akane got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured softly, "I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."

Ranma jumped up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou, we really appreciate it."

"Sure, no problem. I just couldn't let you people go homeless. It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with you to protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at Ranma, "You are?"

"Ranma--"

"Ranko Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough to show Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.

"Akane Tendo."

Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"

"Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They glared at each other again.

"Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the room."

"Sure. Thanks again," said Ranma, smiling, "If you need anything... anything at all... I don't have much, but I'll be glad to give it if you ask. We owe you for this."

"Well, you could start by helping me clean up, afterwards though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm sure I'll think of something..."

The manager entered a broom closet and pulled out some brooms and mops. Ukyou was feeling rather oddly impulsive... inviting these people to live at Ucchan's without even finding out who they were... but there was something about that Ranma fellow which looked oddly familiar to Ukyou.

Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.

Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly. For no discernible reason to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of jealousy. She shook her head to clear it. Surely she couldn't be feeling jealous over the way this guy was staring at Ranma, could she?

Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was decades ahead as far as sophistication was concerned. She understood the look Ukyou was giving Ranma immediately, but didn't feel concerned at all. After all, this poor sap was going to have to go up against the Ultimate Force to get anywhere with Ranma. That wasn't bloody likely. She smiled to herself... it would be interesting to watch though.

The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou led them to the store room, helping them to lay out the futons.

"Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a smile, "I live on the second floor. If you need anything, just knock on the door at the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants to take a bath in the morning, it's the door on the landing. There are spare towels in there, too."

"Thanks, Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully blowing another kiss at Ukyou.

The manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko and bowed out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a look of disgust and said, "Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless flirt!"

"Hey, it was the least I could do... considering that he's helping us out."

"But did you have to bend over like that every time he came close?"

"I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides... I don't think I'm the one he's interested in..." Ranko let her statement hang.

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down his futon.

"Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting some rather sultry looks someone else's way..."

"Who?" asked Ranma not entirely in step with matters innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"

Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!" she had obviously picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... um..."

"Jeez, you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as she took off her outer coat.

"Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging Ranma on the shoulder, "Just to make sure you don't try anything funny while Akane and I are sleeping."

Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from screaming again. This entire turning into a woman thing was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"What do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked Ranma, now with a girl's voice.

"Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if you must have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She settled into her futon and was snoring away within a matter of seconds.

"I am really starting to see why you don't like her much, Akane," Ranma said. "Oh, this is nothing... she was a lot worse when we were kids."

Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is definitely going to take some getting used to," she said, looking herself over.

Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would you like me to change you back?"

"Um... you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko, with a nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a point..."

Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned into one of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You wouldn't, dare!"

Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of course not! I was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"

"Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some reason she felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon again, smiling dangerously, "Well, why not? I'm not cute enough for you, is  
that it?! Is that it?!!"

"Argh..! Put that thing down, Akane, I didn't say that either! You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it again and Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er... we just met today. Besides, we're sharing the room with your cousin... and... uh..."

Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to say after a few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm kidding too," she said unconvincingly, "But seriously, I mean it's no problem if you're a guy with us," she paused and looked him straight in the eye, "I trust you."

Ranma smiled at that, "That's nice to know, Akane..." he coughed nervously and shot a glance at the other goddess, "If you're sure its no problem..."

"Not at all, come over here," she said beckoning to Ranma over Ranko's sleeping form.

Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder as Ranko had done, but instead she impulsively placed her hand on Ranma's cheek and watched the transformation. One moment, she was taller than Ranma, the next he was towering over her. She let her hand rest on his cheek for a while longer.

The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane noticed to her surprise that Ranma's face began to get warmer and a little red for some reason. Ranma put his hand over hers and eventually said with some embarrassment "I think you can put your hand down, Akane-chan... We'd better turn in," he added hurriedly.

"Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry," replied Akane also burning red with embarrassment. She certainly didn't miss the fact that he had called her Akane-chan either.

So without any further word, Ranma and Akane lay down to sleep. Akane was still trying to get used to how things were in the human realm, but was certain that she was doing a good job  
of adapting. She still had a lot to think about... especially about Ranma.

Ranma was certain that he would have trouble sleeping tonight, despite his exhaustion. Not only was there his now rather mutable sexuality to consider and his current homeless situation, but there was Akane as well... he was a man of his word, he wouldn't try anything... but he certainly  
couldn't stop himself from thinking about it.

Both were so busy covering up their embarrassment and pretending to sleep that neither of them noticed that Ranko's snores had stopped. A small frown was already forming on Ranko's features.

"So, that's how it is," she thought to herself sleepily, mulling over the two's conversation, "I didn't realize my tomboy cousin had a romantic bone in her body... Not good. If she keeps this up, he'll never want to break her contract... Akane and I'll be stuck down here forever..."

"No way. Not if I can help it" she muttered aloud before drifting back to sleep.

O-O-O-O

Akane got up fairly early the next morning. She was rather surprised to find the still snoozing Ranma, his face under a pillow, was now back to being a female... Ranko had disappeared as well, but Akane was sure she could hear someone singing to the tune of a radio. Very bad singing. Her curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever had happened, it was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off to find her. Akane moved up the stairs, to where the hideous singing was louder.

She eventually realized that Ranko had taken Ukyou's offer of a bath. The door to the changing room was unlocked and she marched through the divider without breaking stride.

"Alright, what were you trying to do last night?!" she roared.

Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with shock, cut off in midnote. Akane was also no doubt shocked. Ranma quickly ducked under the water to cover himself and replied, edging  
towards the far end of the bath, "I didn't do anything!! I kept as far away from both of you as possible!"

Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly averted her gaze and covered her eyes, "Oh God, I'm sorry Ranma, I thought that was you still sleeping down there!"

"What are you talking about!?"

Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering openly at Ranma, "Yeah, right Akane... you were just looking for an excuse to burst in on Ranma naked..."

"But I thought that was him downstairs..!" Akane angrily replied turning on Ranko. She stared as she realized what had caused her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short as Ranma's and she was wearing a tank-top and Chinese pants similar to what Ranma was wearing last night.

Ranko noticed her staring and gave her head a quick shake, causing the rest of her braid to unfold from wherever she'd hidden it. She smiled at Akane. "What a pair you two are! An exhibitionist and a voyeur!" she shouted as she dashed out the door, "Enjoy the show, Akane!"

With a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a six inch version of herself, with stocky body dimensions and a much larger head in proportion to the rest of her body. She looked a lot like a superdeformed doll version of herself. She slid down the banister and was already looking for a good hiding place.

"Sorry, about that, Ranma..." said Akane meekly as she stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at the top of her voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the distance, thunder rolled, echoing her sentiments.

In the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"

Upstairs, what with all the noise, Ukyou was starting to wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited those people to stay the night. They seemed like nice enough people at the time. And that Ranma reminded Ukyou of an old friend back in high school. "So handsome..." the manager sighed and opened the apartment's front door. She shook her head Akane was  
on the lower landing, obviously searching for something.

"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Noticing Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er... Good morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."

Ukyou looked at her and saw how tense and alert she was, "Akane? Is something wrong?"

Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just heard a sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at all.

"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou. Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs where a small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the doll a perplexed glance as it winked back at the manager.  
"Ranko..." Akane growled, totally focused on her prey and ignoring all distractions, "Excuse me a minute, Ukyou..." she said as she bounded down the stairs after the now retreating doll, her hammer up and ready.

Ukyou was utterly confused now. With a shrug, Ukyou proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had not even heard the question.

The manager knocked on the bath door and said, "It's Ukyou, mind if I join you?"

Inside, Ranma said, "Sure come on in... I'm nearly done anyway,"

It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself. Ukyou entered the bath's changing room and stripped down, taking extra care while removing the chest bindings. "It did seem odd though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's voice seemed a lot deeper than it did last night..." she shrugged it off and  
slid open the divider.

Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub when the divider opened again... and time stopped. Standing just outside was a tall, attractive woman with handsome features. She  
had a smile, a small towel over one shoulder and that was about all she was wearing. She was two up on Saotome though... his towel was across the room and he wasn't smiling. It took a few  
moments for the shock to wear off, but when it did...

"Who are you?!"

"You're not Ranko!!"

Both screamed simultaneously. Ranma ducked back into the water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her best to cover herself with the little towel. It wasn't doing a particularly good job... Ranma was getting dangerously clear views of what the girl was trying to hide. She didn't like  
that...

Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly rushed up to investigate.

"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as she hurried into the bathroom.

The little doll Ranko bounced in a few moments later and transformed into her normal form in another puff of smoke, "Now what?" she asked, annoyed. Their expressions suddenly  
changed as they got a better look at the situation. Ranko's expression turned to amusement and Akane's had turned into one of shock.

Ranma was out cold in the tub, face down with a stream of bubbles coming from his mouth. The girl had a towel rack in one hand which she had obviously torn off from one of the walls  
and was using her other hand to hold up her towel.

The girl turned her back to Saotome and said furiously to Akane, pointing at her with the towel rack, "I thought you said Ranko was in here!"

"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.

"I'm Ukyou!"

"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.

"That's not the issue, here!"

"Ranko! What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane turning on her cousin, now certain Ranko had done something horrible, after all... wasn't it her fault that Ranma turned into a girl?

"What do you mean what did I do?" asked Ranko, genuinely hurt.

Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally managed to revive enough to lift his head out of the water, "What did you do that for?" he asked groggily, trying to look around. His eyes finally focused on something nearby...

Akane felt relieved as she noticed Ranma's head finally coming up, but he still looked a bit dazed. His head swiveled around until finally his eyes seemed to lock, almost by accident on Ukyou...

Ukyou heard Ranma revive and realized belatedly that her little towel was only large enough to cover her front. And Ranma was behind her.

Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma realized what precisely he was looking at and quickly averted his gaze.

Akane, realizing what Ranma was looking at, brought out her hammer.

Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little drafty, dropped her weapon, covered herself with her hand and quickly spun around.

Ranko started giggling.

"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her hammer up to punish him.

"I didn't see anything!! I didn't see anything!! Honest!"

Ranma pleaded as he was hammered into the wall beside the tub. His eyes firmly shut the whole time to make sure that he really didn't see anything.

"Stop that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely certain if she meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not even her.

Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again and managed to croak out, "What have I done to deserve this?" before passing out.

"I can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane muttered to herself.

Ranko leaned against the frame of the door, "But, Akane... this was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in the bath when you knew that it was Ranma in there all along..."

Ukyou turned on Akane in a fury once more, "You mean you were helping this lecher!?"

"No I am not helping him and no I didn't tell Ukyou that Ranko was in the bathroom!"

"Yes you did," Ranko continued, "You were still trying to hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said pointing at the girl, who frowned, "Er... she was trying to talk to you. You weren't paying attention."

"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.

"I'm going to get dressed and we are all going to have a long discussion about this downstairs," Ukyou said in a voice that would brook no argument, "Somebody put some clothes on him and drag him down, too... I want to talk to him."

Ranko's face had a crooked grin as she looked down on Ranma's unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... you've sure got some way with women."

"`Saotome?'" said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, not bothering with the chest bindings which would have taken too long, "Why did you just call him Saotome?"

Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."

"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma Tendo?"

"Why would he be named Tendo?"

"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said Ukyou.

Akane offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's just a... er..."

"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.

"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.

Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she turned her attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious Ranma.

"Oh, yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you... It wasn't what he said precisely, but that's what he meant. You're right... you two are more like betrothed than boyfriend-girlfriend," she added, smiling.

"That's not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to answer, desperately embarrassed.

"He wanted you, hammer girl." said Ranko with finality, jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.

Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's throat, but at the same time she rather liked the thought of Ranma wanting her... somehow. Blushing red, she walloped Ranko into the  
floor, "Just shut up, Ranko! You're stuck to him too!"

As Ranko picked herself up Ukyou, who had been gazing intently at Ranma and utterly oblivious of Ranko and Akane's exchange, asked again, "You two are sure his name's Ranma Saotome?"

"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked simultaneously.

She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... I think he's a friend of mine from high school."

"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. They glared at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"

Ranma, who had finally recovered enough to open his eyes, blinked a couple of times desperately trying to get his brain restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there was a girl peering very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, since that sort of thing had happened to him many times before, but it wasn't something he was comfortable with... The second thing he noticed was that her face was only a few inches away from his own... uncomfortably close... The third thing he noticed was that her eyes were very beautiful...

He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to focus on her properly and backing off a little to see her better, when he finally realized who it was and said, "Is that you, Ucchan?"

Amazing what two blows to the head can do to jog your memory. She was a very good friend from high school... they'd been close, but drifted apart when they went off to college... last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying some guy she'd met in Kyoto...

Ukyou was startled but recovered quickly enough to hug him and say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been so long! Stay as long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was feeling like a giddy teenager all over again, "Your friends can stay too if they want! It's so good to see you!!"

"Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's great to see you too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met last night? Your husband?"

Ukyou's smile faltered for the briefest of instants before it was back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You big silly, that was me!"

"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why were you dressed as a guy?"

"I don't really like to talk about it, Ran-chan," she said smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching up to do!"

"Sure. Sure. We can talk there..." Ranma was still a bit confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty... Ranko gave a small self contented smile as she watched Ukyou give Ranma another very enthusiastic hug... made all the worse by four facts: the fact that Ranma only had a towel draped over his midsection; the fact that Ukyou was wearing a half buttoned shirt and nothing else; the fact that Ranma didn't look at all unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and the fact that Akane was watching, with a scowl. If this didn't make that stupid tomboy want to break the contract, Ranko mused, she didn't know what would.

"What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling Ranma away from Ukyou.

"Can I at least get dressed first?" asked Ranma realizing that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his modesty with. Akane and Ukyou hastily backed out to let him get dressed, Ukyou pausing just long enough to pick up her boxer shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time and ogling him.

O-O-O-O

Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper a few moments later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the counter. It was still before opening time and Ukyou had already done most of the necessary clean up. She was at the grill cooking up a batch of her specialty okonomiyaki for their breakfast.

Ukyou smiled brightly at Ranma as he walked towards them, "Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."

Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone with Ranma... Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.

Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko silently, This is great! I couldn't have planned it better myself!

The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down faster, "Smells great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You haven't lost your touch, I see."

Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks. I like what you did with your hair, by the way. The braid suits you better than that silly crewcut. I almost didn't recognize you."

Smiling, Ranma absently tugged at his braid, "Thanks. But you know it was all Principal Kuno's fault why the guys had to have short hair."

Ukyou laughed, "Yeah, he chased everyone around the campus with those barbers shears."

Ranma laughed also, "It wasn't that funny! He was a fast old guy..."

"Who's principal Kuno?" asked Ranko getting lost in the conversation of the two friends.

"Our deranged principal from high school," Ukyou said dismissively, adding with a smile, "What a nut..."

"His kids are studying at N.I.T." Ranma added conversationally.

"No?" said Ukyou a little surprised, "Really? I'd've thought they would have stayed in Tokyo."

"Um... So... You two really know each other?" asked Akane trying to break into the conversation.

Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high school."

"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added with a giggle.

"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to Akane. She favored him with a small smile which he returned. That did not pass Ukyou's notice... she raised an eyebrow but made no comment.

"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou wistfully as she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.

Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you anyway?"

Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have my own business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" she thought for a moment then added with a giggle, "Well, mine and the bank's!"

Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so politely, around her own breakfast... Akane however was feeling rather uncomfortable at the easy friendship between Ukyou and Ranma.

"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly puzzled.

Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki onto a plate just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? Weren't you marrying that guy fro-"

She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his mention of her marriage. Her face suddenly turned unreadable and her voice was cold and dead as she said, "I didn't marry him."

Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood was about to ask for details, but Akane noticed her discomfort. She put a hand on Ranma's arm and shook her head when she'd caught his attention. Ranma looked confused, but didn't press the issue.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in the same dead voice.

Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. Lots and lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...

Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys still need a place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, I still need people to work here and I have some extra room. I was only planning on hiring two people, but considering how much business has been improving, I think three would work out pretty well, too. What do you guys say?"

"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also brightening a little.

"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets kinda lonely sometimes... it would be nice to have some company,." She added, smiling.

"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said adding a wink in Akane's direction.

"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."

Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said cattily,

"You two were pretty close, huh?"

"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.

Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, "Oh..."

Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We were just friends that's all!"

Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's reaction but she laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack of trying on our friends' parts to get us together though."

Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You mean you two weren't an item?"

"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in her voice.

"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.

"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied easily.

Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, hammer girl?

Worried we'll find out something unpleasant about your fiance?"

"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.

Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in Akane's voice... Ukyou was also mildly shocked.  
Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and just an inch away from pulling her hammer out to wallop Ranko into the floor. Then she looked at Ranma who was looking at Akane,  
somewhat worriedly. Then back to Akane...

"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very surprised.

"I am not!"

"No she isn't!"

Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.

Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got registered contract and everyithing! You're practically man and wife since Saotome here proposed!"

"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" Ranma said.

Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and said in heavy mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with you for the rest of your life and you claim that isn't a proposal?"

"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't realize-"

"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" crowed Ranko triumphantly.

"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, pulling her hammer out.

"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma said desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou off if either of you start tossing blasts of energy around, he added quietly.

Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a slight sinking feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"

As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this straight..." she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance, right?"

Akane looked embarrassed as she put her hammer away, "Um...in a manner of speaking... I suppose... actually... it's not quite the word I'd use..."

Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be called 'girlfriend' instead. For now anyway. She'll probably want to be known as 'Mrs. Saotome' soon enough..."

"Ranko, shut up!"

"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why didn't you mention this sooner?"

"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.

Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at Ranko and then asked, "So what are you doing with your girlfriend's cousin then?"

Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an incompetent..."  
Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, "I'm watching over them."

"You're what?" asked Ukyou.

"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in the first place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.

"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered Ukyou.

Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."

Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a situation for yourself you don't do it half heartedly!"

Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, "It's not like I asked for this..."

"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.

The argument and supposed clarification continued on for the better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou didn't really get an explanation... but Ranma and the two goddesses ended up with a place to live and jobs... for a while anyway...

_To be continued...._


	3. Chapter 3

**PART III: Of Devoted Worshipers and Unexpected Jealousies**

It was the end of the semestral break. Now that the repairs to the school buildings were complete (some of which were severely damaged when the Chemistry Lab had blown up one evening under mysterious circumstances, involving a flying woman and a student, but that's beside the point) classes would resume this Monday. Ranma was not particularly looking forward to going back to the academic grind, but he didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted to keep his athletic scholarship, he had to keep his grades above a certain level as well. On the upshot, at least he would be getting out of Ucchan's, even if only during the day. Much as Ranma didn't want to admit it to Ukyou, he was starting to get sick of okonomiyaki...

Since he, Akane and Ranko had moved in, the place had become a madhouse. Akane shared Ukyou's guest room with Ranko while Ranma had gotten the back room of the restaurant. They  
helped out around Ucchan's whenever necessary and Ukyou's business had actually improved because of the handsome new waiter (Ranma) and cute new waitresses (Akane and Ranko).

Add to that Ranko picking on Akane and Ranma, Akane's tendency to violently retaliate with her hammer, Ukyou and Akane getting mildly jealous over what each thought the other had with Ranma (this was especially bad for Akane who was known to cause thunderstorms when in an particularly foul mood), Ranko slinking around the restaurant, flirting with anything that moves, and every so often transforming Ranma, plus everyone occasionally walking in on Ranma in the bath and him getting beaten up for it... it all came down to a rather complicated domestic situation. And they'd only been staying there for less than three weeks, and thus far, Ranma had been entirely able to avoid letting on about his 'problem' to Ukyou... despite Ranko's almost daily attempts to transform him... It was actually quite lucky that Ukyou got along well with all three,  
otherwise they might have found themselves homeless again.

Ranma hadn't given up on finding a place just for him and the goddesses. Despite Ukyou's good cheer and protestations to the contrary, Ranma could see that her patience with the other two was starting to wear thin. Ranma didn't want to impose on her too much.

She was still pretty much the same girl he'd been friends with back in Furinkan High School, in Tokyo, except for a tendency to cross dress on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, they'd lost touch with one another after they went to college. The last he'd heard Ukyou was going to marry her boyfriend, some guy she'd met in Kyoto. She didn't want to talk  
about it and Ranma certainly wasn't about to pry.

Ranma stepped out of the tub and shook out of his reverie just in time to hear someone trying to open the door.

For some strange reason, the locks on the doors of the bath tended to open by themselves whenever Ranma inside. They suspected Ranko, but there was never any evidence for it. He  
called out, "Nearly done! Please, wait outside!"

"Oh. Sorry, Ranma!" called back a voice which he recognized as Akane's. Ranma had learned to be more alert since he'd started living with the goddesses. Between Akane's temper and Ranko's harassment, every day was a new opportunity for training.

Ranma stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and saw Akane sitting on the landing. He called, "Hi, Akane. Your turn."

She stood up, smiling, "Thank you, Ranma. Do you have classes today?"

Ranma nodded, "Only until one. Then I'll be out looking for another apartment-"

From upstairs, Ukyou stepped out of her apartment and walked to the bath. "Ranchan, how many times do I have to tell you that you're always welcome to stay for as long as you like! That goes for your girlfriend as well," Ukyou said smiling at Akane.

Akane blushed mildly at that. She was starting to get used to being called that... but somehow it still didn't quite feel right when Ukyou said it for some reason. Well... it was easier for her to be called that than his fiance...

Ranma neither confirmed nor denied their status, but he did put a discreet hand on her shoulder as he said, "But not for her cousin, huh?"

"I heard that, Saotome!!" came a sleepy voice from the apartment, "You'll pay!"

Ukyou noted the gesture with amusement. Ranma always stayed close to Akane. Especially when it seemed likely that Ranko would get mad at him for some reason. But besides that,  
Ranma tended to be close to Akane whenever possible. Every so often he would put a hand on her shoulder or brush against her.

As far as Ukyou knew, Ranma never was one for intimacy... his father (an old imbecile in her opinion) raised Ranma up to be a rugged, macho, he-man... complete with all the appropriate problems at open displays of affection. But when he was with Akane, Ukyou noticed, with just a little jealousy... he always had time to be.... well... close to her.

Akane knew why. She threw Ranma a sour look of amusement. He was mostly worried that Ranko would try to turn him into a woman. Again. Just like Ranko tried almost every single day since they moved in. Akane knew that Ranma occasionally fell into depressions just thinking about what would happen if Ranko transformed him and Akane weren't there. He would never become a man again... Truth to tell, the longest he'd had to spend as a woman so far was under an hour., but the possibility of it becoming permanent was rather unsettling for him.

Aside from that, it was tough enough being transformed into another gender by a woman's touch, but trying to keep it secret from someone who used to be your best friend who was living under the same roof at the same time...

"Whatever," said Ranma with a shrug, "I'm going apartment hunting anyway, Ucchan. I don't want to impose on you so much."

"That's my Ranchan alright," Ukyou said with a smile. Akane felt a stab of jealousy. Ukyou's pet name for Ranma always grated on her. It was an indication of the history they'd shared. Something, Akane didn't have...

Ukyou noticed Akane starting to space out and asked, "Akane, mind if I join you?"

Akane was jolted out of her musings but nodded, "Sure."

Ranma said, "Okay, I'll just clean up down stairs... I've got to get out of here by eight or I'll never get to class in time."

After Ukyou had entered Akane turned to Ranma and said, "Ranma... would you let me come with you?"

"Hmm..?" said Ranma as he turned to Akane, "Why?"

"I don't know... I just want to see what you actually do in school... Besides, the last time I left Ucchan's was days ago."

"Well... I don't see why not. You aren't working a shift today, anyway, right?"

"No, she's not!" called out Ukyou from the bath.

"Okay, then. I'll wait for you," he said smiling.

"And no peeking, Ranma!" Akane added from behind the door. It was a joke. In the short time that she'd known him, she'd learned quite a bit about him. Ranma was actually quite shy around women except around those he was comfortable with or with women who so infuriated him that he didn't think clearly anymore. Ukyou was the former, Ranko was the latter, and Akane could slip into either category depending on her temper at the time.

Akane stripped down and entered the bath with Ukyou. They weren't quite close, but they were already on their way to becoming good friends. The fact that Ranma liked the other was already a good indicator in the other one's eyes.

They had small talk as they bathed, about how the business was doing, what the weather was like and whether or not Akane could borrow some of Ukyou's clothes for the day...

She didn't have anything truly feminine, but Akane didn't mind.

"He really likes you." said Ukyou suddenly.

"Huh? Um... what do you mean?" asked Akane feigning ignorance.

"C'mon... neither of you say much about it, but I can see it. He always wants to be near you... he always apologizes after he's rude to you (he doesn't even do that to me)... he hides like crazy when his groupies come calling... He's trying his best to keep you happy."

Akane furrowed as she considered Ranma's actions. She didn't like admitting her thoughts out loud. She worried if that was really why he stayed close to her, "No, he just has to keep me happy because of Ranko."

"Ranko? Why?" asked Ukyou, "What does she have to do with anything?"

"You see, Ranma needs me to--" she stopped herself suddenly as she realized that Ranma had sworn her to secrecy regarding his transformations, "Er... ah, that is..."

"Now that you mentioned it... You guys never did tell me why Ranko was with you. One time, Ranko told me that you and Ranchan had run off together because he couldn't live without you, but that doesn't explain her and--"

"That's a lie!" Akane interrupted suddenly, "Um... I mean, let's just say I had my Father's blessing... but Ranko was part of the deal..."

"Complicated situation, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it, Ukyou."

Ukyou smiled, "Regardless... I know you're good for my Ranchan. Take good care of him Akane," Ukyou added hugging her.

"Thanks," said Akane, genuinely touched.

"What a lovely scene. I think I may weep openly," said Ranko with overblown drama, from the door. Complete with dabbing at the corners of her eyes with a hanky, she continued, "Is there something Ranma should know Akane? Maybe, Ukyou is more masculine than she cares to admit..."

Akane shot her a dangerous look, "What are you doing here, harridan?"

"I wanted a bath too, tomboy."

"So take a bath already! I was just leaving!" without another word, Akane grabbed her clothes and towel and stormed off to change.

As Ranko slipped into the water, Ukyou who had watched the exchange, asked, "Why are you so mean to her?"

Ranko frowned at Ukyou and answered sharply, "It's her fault I'm stuck here. Her and Saotome's. And if she weren't too busy making googly eyes at him, we'd probably have left already."

"All three of you?" Ukyou said, with a touch of sorrow.

"No. Just me and her..."

Ukyou felt an spark of hope... Akane might still leave Ranma. She quickly squelched that thought, though. But she was still curious.

"What precisely do you have to do?"

Ranko felt Ukyou's emotions as well, she was after all the Goddess of Affection, but she'd never been paying attention to Ukyou before. The cross dresser of all people. The only woman Ranko had met so far who was even more masculine than her tomboy cousin! Ukyou was in love with Ranma... It was a desperate kind of love people on the rebound usually display. But powerful... She was too in love with him to try anything, though, because he already looked happy with Akane...

Ranko's mouth quirked. Was everyone in love with Saotome? She wondered what he had that made women fall for him... but quickly pushed it aside.

After all... if Ukyou needed help in a matter of the heart, didn't it stand to reason that the Goddess of Affection should help? Just the right spell in the right place...

"Nothing important," said Ranko dismissively, "By the way, where is Akane going in such a hurry?"

Ranma's van had certainly seen better days. It was old, but reliable. It took about an half an hour to get to the campus, because of the traffic, but they made it with time to spare. Which was good. Because a large crowd of women was waiting for the van at the parking lot.

"Okay, Akane. Here we are," said Ranma as he opened his door. Akane got out ahead of him and noticed the crowd approaching. Loud babbling erupted from the throng as soon as they saw Akane.

"Is it usually so crowded?" she asked, worried.

"No..." said Ranma cautiously. He stayed in the van and peered out cautiously. He recognized some of the faces in the crowd. It was his fan club. He should have expected this.

"Oh boy," he said as he surveyed the mob which was rapidly closing in. They did not look happy at all. "They're all out there."

Akane walked over to Ranma's side and looked at him through the vehicle's doorway, "Well? What do we do about them?"

"We can try to make a break for it I guess--" he said dubiously.

"Hey, Saotome!" came a voice from dashboard. Ranma and Akane looked down and saw mini-Ranko balancing on his steering wheel, "Ever wondered what it would be like to go to school as a girl?"

"Wha--" Ranma blurted out, as Ranko jumped from the steering wheel and onto his head. She promptly disappeared again in a puff of smoke. Ranma realized belatedly that Ranko had  
gotten him again.

"Aw jeez! Why did she have to do that now!?" Ranma said, surveying her body.

"Nobody's close enough to see you yet, here," Akane said offering her hand.

"Thanks," Ranma said, taking her hand as he exited the van. He was back to normal before anyone else could notice. There was a collective gasp as the mob saw Ranma exiting his van,  
being helped out by some girl.

The horde rushed in immediately, preventing escape. A confused babble of sounds assaulted the two as everyone tried to ask questions simultaneously.

Snatches of coherent words could be heard though,

"Ranma-sama, say it isn't so!"

"Is it true?"

"You can't do this to me, Ranma, I've been saving myself for you!"

"Ranma! Why her?!"

Akane growled low in the back of her throat. This was too much. She'd had enough. From the cloudless sky, a thunderclap roared through the parking lot, its sound blasting the crowd of women to silence.

"That's enough!" said Akane, "One at a time!"

One of the girls, a redhead with a waist length braid, in a red dress, pressed closer immediately and said, "We heard from Ryoga-sempai and Mousse-sempai that you got kicked out of the dorm because you were caught sneaking women in there."

Ranma had somehow managed to get behind Akane and seemed to be using her as a shield, "I didn't sneak them in!" he said.

"It's true then! There were women there?" asked the same girl.

"I didn't say that!!" said Ranma desperately.

"We also heard that you were living with three beautiful women now!" complained a girl in a blue dress which suited her long, straight, blue hair.

"Where'd you hear that?" asked Ranma, who had been more or less hiding from everyone since he was kicked out. Nobody knew where he was staying.

"A redhead woman with a braid..." shyly replied a brunette wearing glasses and a green dress. The other women quickly nodded in agreement.

Akane muttered under her breath, "Ranko."

"Yes, that was her name, I think." interjected a woman with long ginger locks tied into a ponytail that reached the back of her knees, "The same girl told me that you told this other girl you wanted her to stay with you for the rest of your life!" There were more nods and murmurs of agreement.

Akane's reserves of patience, not too long to begin with had given out, "What business is it of yours anyway!?"

The crowd broke into general babbling again as various cries to the effect of "Is it her?", "Is she the one your heart has chosen?", "Why not me?!" and various permutations thereof were echoed.

Ranma was still in shock. His fans never used to be this aggressive or self-assertive.

Another thunderclap blasted them back to silence. Akane was really angry now. She took Ranma by the arm and said, "I'm only saying this once! I am Akane Tendo and Ranma is my..." she hesitated, but anger overruled any embarrassment, "Boyfriend!"

"Anybody who has a problem with that, deals with me!" She put her other hand to her hammer, which she still wore all the time, as though just asking for an excuse to use it. A few of the women stepped back. A number of them shrugged. They'd been claiming that Ranma was their boyfriend for months now, so who was this newcomer?

"Why not let Ranma answer us, then?" asked a reasonable sounding woman in a black dress.  
All eyes turned to Ranma. Not just the mob, but quite a number of people who were merely passing by. He was suddenly the center of attention. "Um..." he began.

"Well?" asked Akane glaring at him. She'd put her pride on the line here. If he backed down, she intended to wallop him six feet into the concrete.

"She's... uh... not exactly... that is to say..."

"She isn't your girlfriend?" asked everyone simultaneously.

Akane's face flushed red with rage and embarrassment. Her grip tightened on her hammer. That stupid idiot..!

"... I think... um... maybe... fiance might actually be more accurate," finished Ranma quickly, now also blushing.

Everyone was shocked into silence. The quiet was eventually broken by a few broken sobs as most of the women drifted off. Most crying, a rare few, their faces bitter.

Ranma and Akane watched them leave and heaved a sigh of relief. Only the woman in the black dress took the news impassively. She had a faint smile on her face as idly played with a single black rose.

"What?" asked Akane, not ready to put down her hammer.

"I just wanted to congratulate the lucky woman who managed to land the infamous Ranma Saotome." said the girl in the black dress, pleasantly, "Akane Tendo, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Akane said bowing slightly.

"Pleased to meet you, I am Kodachi Kuno. Sometimes called the Black Rose," she turned to Ranma, "I'm going to miss the antics of those women trying to attract your attention, Ranma. It was..." she paused slightly, "Quite amusing. I hope you two have a lovely life together," she gave Ranma a quick peck on the cheek before anyone could react, "Good bye."

She slipped away before either could say another word.

"Who was that?" asked Akane, confused by Kodachi's speech.

"She's the Captain of the Female Division Combat Athletics Team," said Ranma nervously, "She's usually rather volatile... I've never seen her that calm before,"

Ranma shivered involuntarily at the memory. Akane turned to Ranma and asked tentatively, "Did you really mean that? I mean about us being engaged? Was that a formal proposal?"

Ranma, still a bit of a nervous wreck, "NO!" then in a calmer voice, "No. Of course not. I had to tell them something to make them go away. Just telling them you were my girlfriend wouldn't have been enough. Besides... that's what's on our contract, right?"

"Hmph," said Akane, hurt, "Oh. Well, in that case I'm glad I was of some help then," her words were laced with sarcasm.

"Akane, I didn't mean that like it sounded..."

"What do you think it sounded like, huh?" Akane sniffed at him.

"Like I didn't like you... because its... um... You know. Sort of... like... um... "

Akane's expression softened a little. He was so cute when she had him flustered. She gave him a little tap on the back of the head with her smaller hammer.

"Come on, you pervert... you're going to be late for class," she said with a smile.

He smiled back as they went into the building. From inside the van, mini-Ranko watched them. Maybe they thought they'd gotten away, she mused, not a chance of that. The Black Rose woman had quite a bit of useful jealousy in her heart...

As Ranma walked the hallway with Akane, a few more people and some friends came up to him asking for confirmation of the rumors. Mostly he just nodded and smiled and introduced them to Akane. Some reactions were a little different though.

The school lecher clung to Ranma desperately and begged him to say that it wasn't so, that his idol hadn't fallen, and so forth. Every so often he made an attempt to fondle Akane, which earned him quite a few bumps and no satisfaction at all.

It took a while, but Ranma and Akane eventually managed to get rid of him when his green haired girlfriend flew by and dragged him off, delivering electric shocks to him every few  
steps.

"Darling, you're making a spectacle of yourself again!" she told him as she pulled the battered lecher along the corridors. His yelps of pain fading in the distance.

"There sure are a large number of weirdoes in this school."

"That's the funny part, Akane. I don't remember them acting so... extreme before the sem break."

"Are you saying? That it's my fault?" Akane asked, offended.

"Well... not necessarily yours, Akane-chan."

"Yes," she conceded, "If that incident back in the parking lot is any indication at all, Ranko is really looking to stir up some trouble. We'd better be alert."

"Nihao, Saotome-sempai," called out a voice behind them with a bad Chinese accent. Ranma and Akane turned to see a timid young girl in a conservative dress. She wore glasses and her  
purple hair was done up in a severe braid. She said in a sympathetic voice, "Shampoo heard news from Mousse-sempai. So sorry you kick out of dorm."

"It's okay, Shampoo. I'm doing alright. This is Akane, by the way. Akane, this is Shampoo she's an exchange student from China and one of my friends..."

The girls exchanged bows. Shampoo peered at Akane for a few moments then said excitedly, "Oh! Shampoo, remember now! You the one they talking about in parking lot. They talk about  
marks on face and big hammer! Ranma fiance! Yes? Yes?" she punctuated her sentence with nods.

Akane smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded too. Ranma looked around rather embarrassed as people who hadn't heard about it picked up the rumor and spread it along.

"Shampoo have to go now, Sempai, Akane. Shampoo have to meet Mousse-sempai. He tutoring Shampoo to speak language betterer!" she seemed to get particularly giggly and excited at the thought. She happily waved goodbye as she dashed off.

"Lively, isn't she?" Akane asked as Shampoo left.

"You could say that," Ranma conceded with amusement.

"Why is she named after a hair care product?" asked Akane.

"Well, it's customary in their village or something. I don't think it means the same thing in Chinese. It's the way you pronounce it... I think they say it Xian Pu or something like that. Mousse is from the same village. Joketsu-something or the other..."

As the pair neared the door to the class room, they were met by a man in an elegantly tailored three piece suit. He had a mane of finely groomed black hair and wore a pair of expensive horn rimmed glasses. He approached them and said,

"Truly, it is said that even the most wretched of dogs has his day, Saotome."

Ranma pulled a sour face as he saw who it was, "Hey, Kuno."

"Is this then the fair lady who has ventured to transform the most lecherous Ranma Saotome, into a model of virtue?" Kuno continued, facing Akane, "You make a noble sacrifice for the members of the fairer sex, dear lady. For it will be through your efforts do you rid them of their unhealthy  
fascination with him."

Akane's face betrayed confusion as Kuno proceeded with his speech, lambasting Ranma and proclaiming Akane's virtue and nobility and that she should have courage and perseverance  
for the arduous task of keeping Ranma in line.

"Kuno, I've got a class to get to. Is there a point to this?" Ranma interrupted, unable to stand any more.

"Verily, Saotome, you are the most ill-mannered of curs. You wish my purpose then for stopping you in these halls, I shall give it to you. I merely wished for a chance to meet the  
saint who has managed to capture the most notorious playboy in Nekomi City and to congratulate you both."

"Um... Thank you," said Akane not sure what else to say.

Ranma smiled as well. Kuno could be an overblown jerk most of time and he was another of Ranma's major rivals because of Kuno's Combat Athletics Club which frequently entered into  
rivalry with the Martial Arts Varsity, but he had a decent streak underneath, "Thanks, Kuno."

"I shall be on my way, then. Fare thee well," he said with a curt nod as he strode away.

"Who was that?" asked Akane as they entered the class room.

"Tatewaki Kuno, Kodachi's brother. We generally don't like each other much. Mostly because I'm a better fighter than he is and a lot of the time, he ends up trying to ask out women  
who are after me-"

"Well, aren't we Mr. Modesty..." Akane smirked.

Ranma continued smiling a little, "It's true... anyway, heprobably figures now that I have you, they'll give up on me and go after him..."

"Which is what had better happen," said Akane severely. Ranma merely gave her a look of mild surprise, "Seemed like a nice enough person," she added.

"Yeah, you have to admit he is," conceded Ranma, "At times. A bit arrogant though. And a little stubborn. And stupid. And--"

"I think you've made your point, Ranma..." said Akane sourly.

They sat down near the front. In short order the teacher, a burly man in his forties, arrived and immediately noticed Akane, "Excuse me, miss. Are you in this class?"

"She's auditing it, Onsen-sensei," responded Ranma quickly.

"I asked her, not you, Saotome." said the teacher gruffly, "If you're not registered for this class, please step out. No sit ins."

"Oh great," muttered Ranma to himself.

"Now, please," said the teacher impatiently.

"Um... I'll go wait in the van then. I don't want to cause any more trouble for you."

"No, I have a better idea. The cafeteria's just down the hall and around the corner. Why don't you get something to eat, you skipped breakfast again... I'll catch up with you in about an hour or two, okay?"

"Saotome. Miss. We don't have all day, " the teacher remarked in a bored voice.

"Sorry, sensei," Ranma replied, then turned to Akane and said, "Be careful and try not to attract too much attention,"

As Akane walked out of the classroom she gave Ranma a last backwards glance and a smile. Ranma smiled back and waved her out. This of course sparked an entirely new set of rumors  
and stories spreading as the teacher began the lesson. Unnoticed by everyone, Ranko, in her superdeformed mode trailed after Akane.

O-O-O-O

Akane found the cafeteria with no problems. She had a little pocket money, mostly tips from Ucchan's, which she used to get herself some food. She was so upset with Ranko this  
morning that she had entirely forgotten to eat. She chose a table in the corner and tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. Little chance of that. The story about her and Ranma was already so widespread that practically everyone knew her by the description. Not that she could hide her facial markings, nor was a five foot long mallet all that easy to hide either.

Without her realizing it, several dozen men had already moved into the closest tables and had begun to subtly look her over. They liked what they saw. In fact, they loved what they saw. In a matter of minutes, practically every man who had seen her (and a few women as well) were firmly in love with the goddess of conflicts, Akane Tendo. Most were almost ready to work up the courage to ask her out, but for the fear that they would get their heads kicked in if Saotome  
found out. Underneath a table, mini-Ranko was waving around a smoking little bottle and chanting under her breath. She had worked out a spell which was meant to make Akane absolutely irresistible... And she was doing a good job of it too...

Within half an hour of Akane seating herself there, four long standing relationships had broken up, one proposal for marriage was shelved, a dozen men got slapped for letting their attention wander, and at least one man was electrocuted by his rather volatile alien fiance.

Ryoga, who'd been up until now peacefully devouring his lunch, finally looked in Akane's direction. He knew she looked familiar from somewhere... Then he remembered the night they kicked Saotome out. He nodded idly to himself, that yes it was her... when the spell finally caught up with him as well...

Now there's something that has to be understood about Ryoga. He didn't see the world the same way other people did.

Since his fiance left him a few years ago, his perceptions were constantly filtered through lenses of depression, anger or love sickness. It was part of the reason why he kept getting lost. He  
was so gloomy or seething that he would consistently misunderstand the simplest directions people gave to him. There were times when he would suddenly change directions, ignore road  
signs and the most obvious landmarks because of a scene he was replaying in his head. Something about Ranko's spell had affected Ryoga... The tugging at his heart strings by the spell  
urged him up. Sped him forward. He walked like a man in a daze. He was heading towards love... that was all he knew.

Ryoga walked directly towards Akane's table. He made a straight line, every so often, kicking a table out of the way or absently picking up students and tossing them over his shoulder. His eyes focused firmly forward. Ranko could see Ryoga approaching Akane with a glazed adoring expression on his face and chuckled to herself, "This is so perfect...".

Ryoga proceeded towards Akane's table. As he reached the opposite side of the table, Akane looked up and noticed him approaching. She recognized him immediately as one of Ranma's friends. She was about to say something in greeting when Ryoga suddenly made a ninety degree turn and stomped off... He went through the door, tearing it from its hinges and disappeared from sight.

Mini-Ranko, Akane, and just about everyone else wondered what that was all about. Akane didn't have much time to mull over it as she saw a small group of women approaching her.

"They look familiar for some reason..." mused Akane, "They were members of that mob!" Akane put one hand to her hammer just in case...

O-O-O-O

Ranma walked into the cafeteria and noted idly that someone had torn the doors from their hinges again. Probably Ryoga losing his temper again, he mused. The men who had taken positions around Akane's table quietly but quickly drifted away, before Ranma had a chance to notice them. He found Akane chatting animatedly, thick as thieves, with some girls who he knew to be from his fan club. He approached cautiously.

They all noticed him more or less simultaneously. Except for one, who still had her nose in a book. Akane smiled up at him as the other girls simultaneously said, "Hi, Ranma."

The girls all looked Ranma over with eager looks on their faces. One of the girls asked Akane, "Really? In the bathroom?"

Akane smirked then nodded. The girls all blushed and there was even more awe in their faces than they normally displayed as they looked at Ranma.

"We'd better get going, Akane, we've got classes." Said the girl with the book who stood up, blushing as she gave Ranma a quick glance. The other girls also quickly made their excuses and left before Ranma had a chance to say anything.

"Bye, guys," said Akane waving.

Ranma sat opposite Akane and asked, smiling, "You seem to be getting along with... er... them."

Akane nodded, "They're really very nice once you get to know them. They seemed a lot more reasonable just now, actually."

Ranma nodded, then said suddenly, "So, what were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing much. Girl stuff. You wouldn't understand,"

Akane said mysteriously.

"Hah. If Ranko were here, that wouldn't be a problem now would it?"

"Maybe not. Why do you ask though?"

"Well... I was having a sneezing fit back in class..."

"You thought we were talking about you? Please, how self centered can you get!" Akane did her best to cover up her blush.

What was even more embarrassing was the fact that they had been talking about him.

"I didn't say that, I was just asking politely, okay?!" replied Ranma sharply.

"No it is not okay! Keep your nose out of my business!!"

"Fine then! Be that way! I don't know why I bother with you anyway!" he said standing up.

"Fine!!" Akane said as she walloped him into the floor. She realized belatedly that people were staring. The rumor mills cranked up again this time regarding the `one day fiance'.

"Ow... what did you do that for?" groaned Ranma as he stood up, slowly.

Akane just looked at the ground, looking remorseful.

"Akane, what's wrong... I'm sorry I blew up..."

Akane looked into his eyes and said, "I'm sorry too. I lost my temper. Actually we were talking about you... I was just embarrassed..."

"Aw, come on Akane, you don't have to be embarrassed about that sort of thing with me..."

Akane merely smiled at him, "If your classes are over, we may as well get going, then..."

"Sure thing," Ranma smiled back, as they started walking, "By the way... what did they say about me?"

"That's for me to know, Ranma..." Akane added wickedly, "Besides I told them a few things they didn't know about you..."

"Like what?" asked Ranma worried.

"Like where your birthmark is..."

"You didn't! Which one..?"

"All of them..."

Their voices faded out of the cafeteria as they stepped into the hall. In the hours to come, more stories and theories regarding the two were passed around, and a few of the students decided to organize amongst themselves an Akane Tendo Fan Club...

Mini-Ranko had been listening to the entire exchange from her perch on a chair's backrest. The groupies had spoken at length of Ranma's looks, his honor, his kindness, his cute tush...

She had to admit... Ranma wasn't all that bad looking or that bad a person if she took the time to think about it. But one way or another, she was going to get back home. She considered talking to him about it, but quickly discarded that.

Nice guy or not, she knew he wouldn't let go of Akane that easily, which was a pity too she mused. He was wasted on her.

Ranko's line of thought was suddenly interrupted by a small, sugary sweet voice saying "Oh! How cute! Martinique! Martinique!" The five inch tall Ranko suddenly felt herself grabbed and hugged almost to asphyxiation by Azusa Shiratori.

Azusa was actually in her early twenties, but her mental and physical development had been arrested somewhere around the age of twelve. This left her with an inclination towards being  
disgustingly cute and an overwhelming urge to grab anything she considered cute which came within grasping range, take it home and give it a disgustingly cute French name, not necessarily in that order. Added to all of the extra affection Ranko had been pumping into the air , this resulted in a seriously and uniquely unstable personality.

"OH, Martinique!" said the girl, cuddling Ranko's doll-like form. The superdeformed Ranko, now being called Martinique, was hugged to unconsciousness and carried off by Azusa who  
hummed a cute little song (which she had named Robispiere, the week previous) under her breath as she skipped to her next class. Before she lost consciousness, Ranko noted to herself that  
she might have overdone the affection spell just a little...

O-O-O-O

Kodachi watched Akane and Ranma leave with a cold gleam in her eye. So the little lovers weren't getting along so well... That little tramp. She knew perfectly well, what Akane was up to... Even now she could see it in the eyes of the men all around her... they didn't want the Black Rose anymore they wanted that... that... that hammer wielding hussy! The red headed woman had said so... The Black Rose was the queen of NIT and no newcomer was going to take that away from her.

Kodachi would make Akane Tendo pay. Pay most dearly. Unable to stop the mirth which bubbled up from the depths of her soul, she let loose with a chillingly maniacal laugh as she  
strode out of the cafeteria, oblivious to the stares which followed her. She had so much to plan.

Ranko finally managed to get away from Azusa. It took her an hour and she'd had to hide in one of the lady's room's cubicles, but she'd finally managed to get away. She was worn out from all of her power use, but she knew it was well worth it. Ranma would give up and tell Akane to take a hike soon enough, if she had her way.

She transformed herself back to her normal form and leaned against the white tiled wall for a while, just as a cute girl with long straight pink hair came into the comfort room. The girl glanced at her strangely for a moment, but shrugged and calmly walked to the stand up urinals. Ranko was just about to leave when the door opened and someone else entered. It took a moment for her to figure out that she had been hiding in the wrong comfort room the whole time... this was the MEN's room...

_To be continued...._


	4. Chapter 4

**PART IV: Of Warm Hearts and Cold Shoulders.**

"So, Ranchan, any luck?" asked Ukyou as Ranma and Akane entered Ucchan's. It was eight in the evening and the dinner crowd was barely starting to thin out.

"Nope. Still nothing." muttered Ranma as he and Akane put on their aprons, "Everybody either wants too much or the rooms are too small for one person, much less three."

Ukyou smiled faintly, "Oh, well."

"We're checking out another place tomorrow, though," said Akane brightly.

Ukyou merely nodded absently.

When they finally had a quiet moment, an hour or so later, the three settled down behind the counter.

"Where's Ranko?" asked Akane. She needed to have a long talk with her cousin... communication done by way of hammer.

Ukyou frowned, "Wasn't she with you? She called and told me something about not being able to make her shift," she shrugged, "I don't pretend to understand Ranko, Akane."

"Me neither," replied Akane, as she stood up to clean up one of the tables.

A ragged voice from the door suddenly asked, "Where am I?"

Standing in the open doorway was the bedraggled form of Ryoga. He'd been walking since early afternoon and the last place he clearly remembered had a lot of snow and penguins... but he knew he was supposed to find... glove? Dove? Something... when he got there...

"Ranma, isn't that your friend from school?" asked Akane.

"Hey, Ryoga... what are you doing here?" asked Ranma

before he realized that Ryoga didn't have any idea either.

A look of astonishment crept over Ukyou's features, "R-r-r-Ryoga..?"

"Who? Wha--?" Ryoga looked up and saw Ukyou's face. He had a blank expression on his face as no recognition dawned. Then he looked at Ranma and asked, "Ranma, what are you doing here?"

"I work here you idiot! You got lost again, huh?"

"Who says I get lost--?" said Ryoga.

Ukyou suddenly pulled out a gigantic spatula the size of snowshovel from the broom closet and rushed towards Ryoga, with murder in her eyes.

Ryoga managed to get out of the way as Ranma caught the spatula on the down swing and embedded it into the floor.

"Ucchan, what are you doing?!" asked Ranma.

"I'm going to kill that jackass!!" she said shooting Ryoga a venomous look.

"Excuse me, do we know each other?" asked Ryoga bewildered.

Ukyou let go of the spatula's handle and grabbed Ryoga by the shirt front, screaming sarcastically in his face, "Do we know each other?! DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER!?!"

"I asked you first," said Ryoga peevishly.

"We were engaged for two years before you left me at the altar, you jackass!!" said Ukyou enraged.

A look of shock passed over Ryoga's eyes as he said, "Ukyou? But you're a guy, Ukyou's not a--"

"You bet your ass, I'm Ukyou, sugar..." she said ripping open the top few buttons of her shirt, showing Ryouga a bit of cleavage. Ryouga's eyes focused there for a few seconds before he finally managed to bring his gaze back up to her face. Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes... and blood was threatening to come out his nose.

"Now you're going to pay!" Ukyou screamed as she tore the spatula free from the floor.

"Ukyou! It is you! I've been looking for you for years!"

Ryoga said suddenly hugging her and crushing her to him. As Ryoga sobbed into Ukyou's shoulder, you could almost hear her ribs cracking under the strain. Unable to breathe, Ukyou released her hold on the giant spatula out of surprise which Ranma promptly kicked a discreet distance away.

"Excuse me, er... Ryoga, right?" said Akane.

Ryoga looked up from Ukyou's shoulder and said in a puzzled tone, "Yes?"

"Maybe you should let go of Ukyou now. I don't think she can breathe," continued Akane.

"Huh?" asked Ryoga, now looking at Ukyou and surprised to find that his beloved's face was a ghastly bluish purple color. He quickly let go saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" as Ukyou  
fell to the ground, struggling for air.

"Are you alright?" Ryoga asked Ukyou.

The color had finally come beck into her face, "No thanks to you, you jackass..."

Ukyou's cut herself off in mid sentence as she and Ryoga stared at each other. Ukyou's gaze was full of anger and outrage and pain. Ryoga had a worshipful look on his face. Almost as if he'd been in darkness all his life and had finally found the light. They continues staring at each other  
for several minutes and the painful silence dragged on.

"Ranma," whispered Akane, "Do you know what's going on?"

"I have no idea," he whispered back, "Although I didn't realize that these two even knew each other, much less were fiances..."

"Maybe we should give them some privacy..."

"Heck, no! I want to see how this turns out..."

"Ranma..!" Akane whispered fiercely.

The silence continued. Ranma and Akane eventually picked the two up off the floor and seated them at a booth, to keep them out of the way of the customers. The entire time, they continued staring at each other. Eventually, the customers had eaten their fill and left, Ranma was in the process of putting away the money in the cash register, and Akane was washing the dirty dishes in the back, when Ryoga finally said hesitantly, "So this is where you are-"

"Yes," Ukyou snapped coldly.

"I tried to find you after the wedding-"

"That wasn't a weddong it was a farce." Ukyou returned in a brittle voice.

"Um... nobody would tell me where you'd gone-" Ryouga tried to continue.

"I didn't want to be found," she replied. You could have frozen ice cubes with that voice, "Especially not by you."

Ryoga finally noticed Ranma who was making himself as inconspicuous as possible behind the counter. He had already finished with the cash register and was trying hard not to make it look like he was eavesdropping.

Ryoga suddenly said, "Ranma, do you mind? This is a private conversation--"

"No, Ranchan. Stay," interrupted Ukyou, "I've got nothing to discuss with this jackass that can't be said in front of my best friend."

Ryoga's eyes suddenly lit up with anger, "What did you call Ranma?!"

"Ranchan," said Ukyou coolly, "You remember... my best friend from high school. I'm pretty sure I mentioned him once or twice. How do you know him?"

"You mentioned him practically every other day,"

Ryoga snarled, "You mean to tell me that your 'Darling Ranchan' was Ranma all along?!" Ryoga turned to Ranma, "We lived under the same roof for two years and you never mentioned this once?!!?"

"Hey!" said Ranma stepping back. He'd fought with Ryoga before and he knew he was better, but Ryoga had the edge when it came to strength and endurance, "You never said anything about Ukyou! All you ever did was mope about how your fiance left you! You mean you were Ryochan?"

"What a coincidence, Ryoga," she said his name with the same inflections one would use for referring to a maggot, "You used to live with Ranma... now he's living with me," she said with a cruel smile.

Ryoga's head swiveled back and forth between the two. Ukyou was coolly unreadable and Ranma had a look of panic on his face. You could almost see steam rising from Ryoga's head as he rushed Ranma, screaming, "You already have a fiance, but you're living with my Ukyou! I will not have it Saotome! Prepare to die!!"

Ryoga crashed through the counter and nearly smashed into Ranma. Ranma easily stepped to one side and delivered a strike to the back of Ryoga's neck which should by rights have dropped him. All it did was make Ryoga angrier as he began to take wild swings at Ranma, which Ranma easily blocked or avoided.

"Ryoga! Calm down man, it's not what you think!" said Ranma desperately. He knew full well that when Ryoga was this steamed, he was virtually unstoppable... short of ramming him into a steel wall and even that wasn't guaranteed to work.

Akane stepped out of the kitchen area to see Ranma and Ryoga tearing up the counter and some of the tables. Ukyou was sitting in one corner looking as though she were just about ready to break down. Akane was the Goddess of Conflicts, and she could feel a massive conflict of emotions within Ukyou.

"What is going on out here?!" she said. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong time to say it. Ranma was momentarily distracted allowing Ryoga to get his hands on Ranma's neck and  
pick him up like a rag doll.

"Gotcha! Now you will pay Saotome!" Ryoga's voice was already bordering on the irrational, "For ruining my life and for stealing my Ukyou!!"

Akane didn't even hear him ranting, she saw her Ranma being attacked and she acted immediately. Pulling out her mallet, she swung back and hammered him across the back, sending  
both him and Ranma flying towards the open front door.

Unfortunately, Ranko was just on her way in, humming a happy tune.

Ranma and Ryoga slammed into Ranko. Ryoga lost his grip on Ranma at roughly the same moment that Ranma made contact with Ranko, resulting in his transformation. All three were not  
hurt beyond simple bruises, but Ryoga was a little stunned by the hammer blow. He shook his head to clear it, looking around desperately for Ranma, who had disappeared. "The little coward's run off again," he snarled as he stood up.

At his feet, a pair of attractive redheads, twins no doubt he thought, cowered, "Where'd he go?!" he snarled at the one with the shorter braid. She raised a trembling hand and pointed down the street.

With a nod, Ryoga took off heading in the opposite direction. The two redheads blinked in confusion, as he disappeared in the distance.

"What's going on?" asked Ranko, trying to disentangle herself from Ranma.

"Do you really think I know?" said Ranma, irritated. She surveyed herself and muttered, "I never thought this transformation thing could come in handy."

Akane stepped out of the door and saw them on the ground, trying to pick themselves up, but still locked in what appeared to be some sort of a hug. She made a small snarling noise at the back of her throat which was echoed by distant thunder.

Ranko noticed her and said suddenly in a coy voice, "Oh, Ranma! We mustn't! What if Akane were to catch us?! Besides we're both women!"

"What are you babbling about!?" said Ranma, who had finally managed to get her arms free. She noticed a shadow falling on her created by the light of Ucchan's doorway... she looked up into the seething face of Akane.

Akane picked up the two and easily separated them, "Ranma, I can appreciate that you had to get away from Ryoga... but at least have the decency not to look like you're enjoying yourself..."

Ranko glomped onto Ranma, transforming him again, "Ah, but my darling cousin, if he so desperately wants me why should you stop him? You can't really blame him.. er... her... Akane, it's your own fault, you know..." she said airily. Ranko snuggled up to the now female Ranma some more and said, "Stop being so shy, Darling..."

Ranma gently tried to pushed her away and said, "Will you stop that!?!"

Akane picked Ranko up by the collar and tossed her over her shoulder, "What's going on Ranma!? Why was Ryoga trying to kill you?!"

"Stop trying to maul my beautiful body you violent maniac..." said Ranko as she slowly picked herself up.

"Why does everyone keep asking me?" asked Ranma, "I'm the innocent bystander here..." she leaned himself against the wall next to the door and rubbed at her injuries. Those were going to  
be sore in the morning.

Ukyou stepped out of the restaurant herself. Akane, thinking fast reached out and tagged Ranma on the chest, turning him back into his male form.

"So where did Ryoga go?" she asked in a brittle voice.

"Gone... he wandered off." replied Ranma.

Ranko took one good look at Ukyou's emotional state and was surprised by what she found... she hid a smirk from the others and simply declared, "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm going back up to the room to sleep," as she walked into the restaurant, she said, "By the way, Ranma, Tate-kun sends his regards..."

Ranma frowned, "Tate-kun? Who's Tate-kun?" he asked himself, but at the moment it was less important than Ukyou's problem...

"Ucchan, do you want to talk about it?" he asked Ukyou.

"We're your friends Ukyou. Please let us help," Akane pleaded.

"I'm not sure you can," Ukyou said with a small sad smile, "Maybe it's already to late."

"It's never too late," said Akane with a certain sense of authority, "Nothing is ever totally irrevocable..."

Ukyou sighed and shook her head sadly, as she gestured them into the restaurant. Ranma and Akane looked at each other, shrugged and followed. They went through the motions of closing  
up the restaurant before Ukyou finally sat the two of them down at one booth and talked.

"Ranma, do you remember my last letter to you?" Ukyou began.

"Yeah. I still have it around here somewhere..." he said thinking about rooting through the various junk he had piled in his room.

"No, don't bother. Do you remember what I said there?"

"Yeah. That you were getting married to this guy you met and that you two were really happy. I called you on the day of the wedding but your roommates told me you'd moved out already. They never told me why," Ranma's brow furrowed in thought,

"Your fiance was Ryoga?"

Ukyou nodded. "We were supposed to get married on Valentine's Day, I had the wedding hall and the reception and everything was ready."

"What happened?" asked Ranma.

"Then he disappears. I waited at the wedding hall for six days for him. He never showed up... I was so humiliated! My entire family was there... my friends..." Ukyou's voice was laced with bitterness and tears were forming at the corners of her eyes.

"That's so sad," said Akane laying a hand on Ukyou's shoulder.

Ukyou smiled faintly in Akane's direction then asked, "This part was always one of the hardest to tell Akane... Could you please get me some water?"

Akane nodded and headed towards the kitchen.

"Since that day, I've tried to forget that I was a woman," Ukyou continued now addressing only Ranma, "I started dressing like a man, acting like one... I didn't want to take the chance of having my heart broken again. I left Tokyo, moved out here where nobody knew me... then I just sort of reestablished myself as Ukyou Kuonji, a practical person who doesn't care about love  
or sentiment... At least until a few weeks ago."

"Why? What happened then?" Ranma asked.

Ukyou blushed and gave a shy smile. For the first time since she realized who Ranma really was, she looked very feminine... "You came back, Ranchan. My best friend in the world came back."

"Here's your water Ukyou," said Akane, suddenly stepping out of the kitchen.

Ranma had a look of confused shock and Ukyou was blushing red. Akane looked at the two, as she sat and asked in a puzzled tone, "Is something wrong?"

"Nooo... nothing's wrong at all..." said Ranma incoherently.

"Anyway," said Ukyou without missing a beat, blushing furiously, "I was probably just wishing... it would probably never have worked out. Him being already engaged to someone else and all..."

"Yeah... I guess..." said Ranma, suspiciously, "I never realized, though..." he managed to stop himself in time when he noticed that Akane was here.

"Um... are you talking about Ryoga?" asked Akane, unclear.

"No," said Ukyou clearly, "Ryoga was someone I never expected to see again. I never want to see him again," she folded her arms and her mouth became a thin hard line.

"Ucchan..." Ranma said, "Maybe if you talked to him first... Get his side. He's not that bad a guy--"

"There can be no forgiveness. If he shows up around here I'll put him in the hospital," she said, cracking her knuckles.

Akane said, "I agree with Ranma, Ukyou. I saw the way he looked at you. He's still in love with you..."

"Hmph," Ukyou sniffed, "Maybe he just realized how much he's lost..."

"You know that might be it..." said Ranma slowly.

"What do you mean?" asked Ukyou.

"Maybe Ryoga got lost on the way to the wedding hall."

Ukyou frowned, "The hotel we were staying in was right next to the wedding hall, how can you get lost on his way there?"

Ranma smirked, "This is Ryoga we're talking about. He gets lost going across the street. It takes him to hours to find the bathroom in a one bedroom apartment. The man has the world's most  
pathetic sense of direction."

"He wasn't like that when I knew him... Nobody's sense of direction could be that bad..." said Ukyou dubiously.

"His is. Trust me. You can ask anybody at the University. How else do you explain the fact that this place is only a few blocks from where he lives, but he's never been here before? We didn't used to let him leave the dorm alone because it usually took him weeks to get back.

"No matter. I don't care what happens to that jackass anymore as long as he doesn't show up here," she said bitterly as she stood up, "I'm going to bed now, guys. Just turn out the  
lights when you turn in, Okay?"

"Sure thing, Ukyou," said Ranma. Ranma and Akane watched as Ukyou climbed up the stairs to  
her apartment. Ranma was a little confused by what Ukyou had said... He'd always considered Ukyou a friend, but never did he think that she felt that way about him. And Ryoga, while a rival, was also a friend of his... There was only one thing that could be done.

Akane noticed Ranma's look of distraction and said, "You want to help them don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"A little. So, what do you think we should do?"

"I don't know yet... maybe if we got Ryoga's side we might have something more to work with..."

"Say no more..." she said brightly as she dragged Ranma out of his seat, "Follow me, we can still catch up to him."

"Where are we going?" asked Ranma.

"The bathroom."

"What? How's that going to find Ryoga?"

"I need water to move through, silly..."

"Oh, yeah... you mentioned that."

She nodded as they entered the bath. Akane filled a bucket of water and set it down in front of them.

"Do I have to hold my breath?" Ranma asked looking incredulously at the bucket.

"No, just hold onto me..." she said putting her arm around Ranma's waist.

"Er... like this?" he said putting a tentative hand to hold her shoulder.

Akane frowned at him, "Hold on tighter, Ranma if you don't want to get stranded in between."

"I'm holding already, I'm holding..."

"Erhk! Not that tight, you idiot!" she squeaked as

Ranma released his grip, "That's better. Here we go!" Akane jumped into the bucket, pulling Ranma in after her. Ranma didn't even have time to register what he saw during the journey. One moment, he was in Ukyou's bathroom, the next he was standing waist deep in a public bath. The women's section. Most of the women currently had their backs to Ranma which was a good thing. Considering how vigorously they defended their own virtue against peeping toms. Case in point. Ryoga Hibiki.

Ryoga, when his rage had finally run out, had fallen into the black pits of depression. He had wandered into the baths by accident. In his state of mind, he'd failed to notice precisely where he was and was only snapped out of it finally by finding himself in the center of screaming circle of  
women who were pitching wooden buckets, plastic chairs, and anything else which came in handy with uncanny accuracy. Ryoga had managed to avert his eyes quickly enough to avoid a  
nosebleed, but with his eyes closed, he couldn't find his way out either. Some of those bucket strikes were starting to hurt too...

Screams of "Pervert!" "Pig!" Get out of here!" were already echoing through the baths. So Akane's sudden shout of "Stop looking you, pervert!" at Ranma when she realized where  
they were was hardly noticed.

Ranma on the other hand didn't bother to avert his gaze. He quickly dashed past the women and grabbed Ryoga by the collar, hauling him out of there as quickly as he could. Of course this resulted in a fresh series of screams and thrown items.

Shouts to the effect of, "Another one!", "Get him!",

"They're probably in cahoots!", "Isn't that Ranma?"

Ranma sprinted out at full speed. In the back of his mind he mused that his reputation was probably ruined... Somebody was going to pay for this. Following close on his heels, Akane finally managed to catch up with him.

"Why didn't you tell me we were going to end up in a women's bath, you idiot?!" asked Ranma.

"How was I supposed to know your idiot friend would wander into one!?" she retorted angrily.

"Is it safe to look now?" Ryoga asked worriedly as he was dragged along.

"Shut up!" Ranma and Akane said simultaneously.

As they finally ran out of the baths, they turned the corner and entered an alley. They finally stopped, breathing hard.

"I think we lost them..." said Ranma.

"Where are we?" asked Akane.

"It looked like the bath of the women's dorm..." muttered Ranma.

Akane frowned, "How would you know what the women's bath looks like?"

"Er... I mean the outside, Akane."

Akane merely glared at him.

"Is it safe to look now?" repeated Ryoga in the same tone of voice, his eyes firmly screwed shut.

Ranma sighed, "Yeah, it's safe, you idiot."

Ryoga frowned at the voice before he opened his eyes.

When he saw Ranma he immediately went into a wild lunge at him, "I'm going to kill you Saotome!"

Ranma quickly borrowed Akane's mallet and easily hammered him into the ground.

"I just saved your bacon in there, Ryoga! Doesn't that count for something?"

"Do you think pulling me out of a women's bath can take away all of the pain you've caused me?" Ryoga asked angrily as he picked himself up.

"What are you babbling about?" asked Akane, grabbing her hammer back from Ranma.

"You must have been laughing the whole time, Ranma," he said bitterly, "Ukyou always talked about her Ranchan... her best friend... she was always comparing the two of us, you know... She always said Ranchan was her best friend, but she made you sound more like an old boyfriend..."

"I didn't know, Ryoga. I only found out about this now. We were just friends..." complained Ranma, "And if it's any consolation, when she did write to me, she'd keep going on and on about her Ryochan--"

"Enough talk Ranma it won't save you--" he paused as the words finally reached his brain, "You mean she used to call me Ryochan in her letters?"

"Who else could she be talking about? She mentioned fangs, bandannas, hideously strong... how many guys answer to that description?" Ranma shrugged.

Ryoga's face darkened again, "That still doesn't change the fact that you're living with her... she said so, Ukyou doesn't lie..."

"We're living with her..." said Akane suddenly.

Ryoga looked at the two of them, "Huh?"

"Ranma is living with her, but so am I and so is Ranko," Akane continued.

"After you kicked me out of the dorm, I didn't have anywhere to stay... it was just lucky I ended up there and she offered us a place to stay for the night," Ranma thought about it, "That was about three weeks ago..."

"You mean... you two aren't living together living together... you're just staying under the same roof?" said Ryoga in a puzzled tone.

"Precisely," answered Akane, "You've got nothing to be jealous about there."

"But, she's really mad at you, you know..." said Ranma.

Ryoga suddenly slumped to the ground, "I know, I know... I'm not even sure I can make her listen to me... but if she did, I could explain everything..."

Akane smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure you could Ryoga-kun... but we've got to find a way to make her listen. We'll help you if we can..."

Ryoga couldn't help but smile back at her, "Really? Thank you. Thank you very much..." he got back to his feet.

"So what really did happen?" asked Ranma.

"Let's talk about it on the way to the dorm..." he said starting off in a random direction. Ranma blinked as he steered Ryoga in the proper direction and gestured to Akane to follow.

"Basically," Ryoga said as they walked, Ranma and Akane on either side of him to keep him on the right track, "We were going to be married. Her family liked me and said it was a good match. Her dad even promised to give me the family's restaurant as a dowry... The night before the wedding, we had an argument... I don't even remember what it was about... Anyway, I went on a walk that night, wondering about my marriage, about how things would change... you know, trying to sort things out in my head... the next thing I know its 2 A.M. in the morning and I'm in some place called Kansas."

Ranma and Akane shared incredulous looks.

Ryoga shook his head at the memory, "It took me two weeks to get back... by then Ukyou had disappeared. No one would tell me where she went and her family wouldn't even talk to me anymore..." he continued sadly, "I haven't been able to find my way around properly since. I ended up coming here to continue my education again. That's what happened."

They walked on in silence as Ryoga's two companions mulled over his story. "Well, that's what I told her... that you'd gotten lost... but she didn't buy it," said Ranma finally.

"Do you really think you can help me?" asked Ryoga desperately as they dropped him off at the dorm.

"We can help you," said Akane with conviction as they guided him to the front door, "Count on it."

Ryoga bowed and thanked them both, as he stumbled into the dorm. It was highly likely that he would take the better part of the evening looking for his room, but at least he was there. As  
he disappeared into the building, Ranma turned to Akane and said skeptically, "Do you really think we can help him?"

Akane smiled, "We live with the goddess of affection, I'm sure Ranko would be glad to help..."

Ranma still looked doubtful, "Ranko? Help? Of her own free will? "

"She likes Ukyou. She'd probably be glad to do it."

Ranma got a strange look on his face as an idle thought crossed his mind, "She... likes... Ukyou?"

Akane noticed the look and gave him a knock on the head, "Not like that, you pervert!" she calmed down a little, "She likes the fact that Ukyou's an independent woman. She almost  
respects that."

"I suppose..." he replied, still doubtful.

Akane gave Ranma a warm smile as she took his arm, "Come on, we've still got that other place to check out tomorrow. We want to get plenty of rest."

Ranma nodded and looked around, "How are we getting home anyway? It's a pretty long walk..."

"Same way we got here, you big silly," Akane laughed, dragging him to a puddle of water that had collected at a nearby faucet.

"Aw, man..."

O-O-O-O

They did indeed check out the other place the following day... for a change, all three of them.

"Is this place what I think it is, Akane-chan?" asked Ranma incredulously.

"Looks like it," Akane replied, also slightly stunned.

"I like it!" said Ranko with conviction, smiling broadly as she surveyed the grounds.

"Can we afford this?" asked Ranma finally, his surprise still plain on his face.

Akane turned to him and said, "This was actually the cheapest place so far... it's got an even lower price than that apartment downtown..."

Ranko had already wandered off to explore the garden.

"Why are they renting this place out so cheap? It's huge! It's got its own grounds and everything, but it costs less than a fleabag one room apartment? There's gotta be something wrong with it," said Ranma a little uncertainly.

"Nothing I could find, Ranma. I guess people just generally don't want to live here..." said Akane.

"I can't really blame them," he replied, glancing up at the somewhat derelict old structure...

"We'll take it!" said Ranko enthusiastically, bouncing back to the two.

"I've still got my doubts about this..." said Ranma putting a hand at Akane's shoulder...

Akane smiled at him, "No... this place feels right, Ranma."

"Aw c'mon, Saotome!" said Ranko happily, "This is perfect! Where else would you expect a pair of goddesses to live but at a temple?"

_To be continued...._


	5. Chapter 5

**PART V: Of Baneful Food and Loving Thoughts.**

Ranma never was much of an early riser when he could get away with it. Fortunately for him Akane was. The three of them had stayed up late the night before, mostly just getting settled in and discussing plans about what to do with poor Ryoga and Ukyou... not much was resolved of course, especially after Ranko turned Ranma into a girl and the entire discussion degenerated  
into another shouting match...

Akane opened the door to Ranma's bedroom and tsked to herself at its state. Admittedly, between the three of them, Ranma had the most in the way of personal belongings and they did only just move in the day before, it was still no excuse for the mess she saw. It took her a moment to pick her way through the scattered clothes (both clean and dirty), training gear, and textbooks (a good many of which had yet to be opened she noted with some amusement).

She paused a moment standing over his futon and smiled down at Ranma's sleeping form. He only wore boxer shorts and a tanktop to bed, and much as it embarrassed her, she did like it when he wore that around the house. I mean its not really as if he's got anything to hide from me, she thought with a giggle, I've seen him in less.

She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a slight shake, "It's Monday morning, Ranma. Wake up."

Ranma turned over in his sleep murmuring vaguely, "I... take... to be my lawfully wedded..."  
Akane gave a sigh of exasperation and shook him more vigorously, "C'mon, hurry up, I've got breakfast ready..." her brow furrowed for a moment as she caught what he was muttering in  
his sleep. "A wedding? He's dreaming about a wedding?" she thought slightly surprised.

She was even more surprised as Ranma suddenly reached up and pulled her to him.

Ranma was indeed dreaming of a wedding. He hadn't gotten a very clear image of who the bride was, just that someone was rushing them through the ceremony because something bad was coming... but the priest, a man with a mustache and long hair, had just said you man now kiss the bride and that's what he intended to do. He reached for the bride and lifted her veil catching only the briefest glimpse of woman's eyes as he drew her close... whereupon she suddenly smashed him on the head with a large and very familiar looking mallet...

That was the sort of thing which would shock anyone to full consciousness. Ranma shook his head a few times to clear it as he looked up at a very flustered and angry Akane. She held her huge hammer in both hands and glowered at Ranma, a slight aura of energy was beginning to play around her body.

"What did you do that for?!" asked Ranma blearily. He was not at his best during the mornings. Especially not until he'd had breakfast.

"And what may I ask were you trying to do?!" she asked in a tight angry voice.

"I wasn't trying to do anything! I was just sleeping here!" retorted Ranma, picking himself up off the futon.

"You tried to take advantage of me, you lech!" shouted Akane, "Everything they said about you was true, wasn't it!?!"

"Tried to take advantage of you!? Why the heck would I want to do that, you stupid tomboy?!"

"You were pretending to be asleep so you could grab me and try to kiss me!" Akane shot back, her face burning out of embarrassment and anger.

"I did not!" Ranma replied, shocked.

"Did so!"

"Would you two keep it down, I'm still trying to get some sleep here..." said a rather dishevelled looking Ranko from the door, "I swear this is so juvenile, I could hear you two arguing all the way on the other side of the temple."

Ranma and Akane turned on Ranko at the same time, "Stay out of this!"

Ranma, of course, paused momentarily on seeing Ranko. She was wearing a very sheer nightgown which left so little to the imagination, she may as well have been naked. Ranko paused a moment to stretch and Ranma's eyes couldn't help but follow as some parts went up... and others went that way... Akane got a murderous look in her eyes as she tightened her grip on her hammer.

"Ranko. Get out! This is a private conversation!" said Akane, furious.

Ranma realized that he was staring and somehow, quite possibly by sheer willpower, he was able to tear his gaze from Ranko. He did his best to appreciate the view outside his window, which while less interesting than the one at his door, was considerably less dangerous.

Ranko raised an eyebrow and quietly backed out, closing the door behind her. She decided that if they wanted to spend the whole morning arguing this was good too. This was their first major argument in a week... with luck this would be the one that broke them up. At the very least if they kept this up, she'd have dibs on the bathroom.

Ranko came into the dining room to find Akane setting the plates on the table. There was something very odd in the room which Ranko felt immediately, but she couldn't quite figure out  
what was wrong precisely... a curious scent in the air perhaps... It didn't take a goddess to see that Akane was quite upset and was largely slamming the dishes onto the table, causing their  
contents to jump or every so often spill. The fact that most of the dishes were shatter proof could've been taken as either luck or foresight on the part of Ranma for buying them.

Akane glowered at Ranko, "Don't you have any shame? Put something on!"

Ranko glanced down at the short terrycloth robe which was all she was wearing and struck a pose, "What do I have to be ashamed about Hammer girl? I've got a great figure," she made a  
dismissive gesture in Akane's direction, "But what would you know about that? You haven't got one..."

Akane glanced involuntarily down at her own clothes. She was wearing an old pair of Ukyou's slacks and one of Ranma's Chinese shirts, "Oh, shut up."

Ranko decided to test the waters, "If you keep wearing masculine clothes like that, how is Ranma supposed to find you sexy?"

Akane muttered under her breath, "What do I care whether or not that stupid jerk thinks I'm sexy..." Not that it stopped him from grabbing me like that, she added mentally.

Ranko smiled lazily as she seated herself, "What did he do this time, Akane?"

Akane glared at Ranko, "None of your business, Ranko!"

Ranko raised an eyebrow, "My aren't we feeling bright and chipper this morning, hammer girl... what did your lovey-poo do this time?"

"He is not my lovey-poo!" Akane replied angrily, rather disgusted at the term.

"Your darling fiance, then?" asked Ranko innocently.

"Not that either, he's just a stupid mortal jerk!"

Ranko smiled, "Hey, I knew you'd see it my way. Are we ready to leave yet?"

Akane's face clouded over in surprise, "Leave? What do you mean leave?"

"He's just an idiot right? So just tell the jerk off, I figure he's pissed at you too, he'll let you leave and bang! We'll be back in Heaven in time for one of your sister's famous dinners!" Ranko replied brightly.

"Um... I don't know, Ranko..." Akane said uncertainly, the thought of actually leaving Ranma for good shocked her out of her angry mood, "I mean... it's not that bad... um... I mean, it's not like he tried to grab me or something..." or he did, but I'm not telling you that, Akane added silently.

Ranko's perfect brow furrowed, "What DID he do?"

I don't understand what I'm so upset about, thought Akane as she calmed down some more. She gave Ranko an even stare, "I told you. None of your business."

Akane added to herself, I mean its not like he did something really bad... I was kind of hoping he'd do that... she sighed, I just wish he hadn't surprised me like that, though...

Ranko finally realized what had been bothering since she'd entered the dining room. She gave another tentative sniff and glanced at what Akane was setting on the table. She asked Akane  
tentatively, "Akane... did you... cook?"

Akane replied happily, "Yes. I thought Ranma might like a home cooked meal for a change."

Ranko nodded slowly as she watched some of the spilled food slowly eat through the table, "Yes. He probably would at that..."

No telling what he'll change into if he eats that, she thought with a suppressed giggle.

"Give me a moment," said Ranko as she stood up suddenly. She returned to the table a few moments later with a cup of hastily prepared instant ramen.

Akane looked at Ranko strangely, "What's that for? I made plenty for all of us."

Ranko smiled sweetly at Akane, "Oh, none for me thanks.

Besides... you know Ranma's appetite. You made it for him didn't you? I'll let him enjoy it."

"Okay," Akane replied doubtfully. Ranma arrived at the table still toweling his hair. He was wearing another tanktop and the loose Chinese pants he preferred. He was still somewhat grumpy but his expression softened as he noticed Akane now seemed to be more cheerful.

"Um... Akane... about earlier..." Ranma started tentatively.

Akane cut him off, "Oh, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have gotten so upset, it probably was a misunderstanding..."

"Um... its sort of difficult to have a misunderstanding about something like..."

Akane smiled pleasantly, "Let's just forget it happened, okay?"

"Er... Yeah. Okay. I guess..." he replied relaxing somewhat, but still quite uncertain as to what DID happen.

Ranko raised an eyebrow but kept quiet and let the two talk.

He glanced down at the table and got a surprised look on his face, "Akane? What's all this?"

"Akane made breakfast for you. All by herself. Wasn't that sweet of her?" Ranko said in her silky voice.

Ranma's face brightened, "Really, Akane?"

Akane smiled back at Ranma, "Yeah. Eating nothing but cup ramen isn't good for you."

"Thanks for the concern..." but his smile faltered as he got a second look at the offerings. None of the dishes looked particularly presentable. Or palatable for that matter. Or even edible in some cases.

Akane failed to notice his expression as she brought the rice cooker closer to the table, "I haven't cooked for anyone in a while, so I hope you like it."

"Oh... okay," said Ranma with a slight sinking sensation. The last time he'd eaten anything that looked even remotely like this was when one of his cullinarily challenged fans made him lunch. He ended up staying in the hospital for a month. Somehow Akane's cooking seemed to promise even worse than that. The food sat in its bowl radiating a certain low grade menace... If it was  
possible for a meal to glower at someone, this meal was doing just that.

Ranma glanced at Ranko, "Why are you eating instant ramen? Don't you want any?"

Ranko favored Ranma with a silky smile, "Oh, but your dear, dear Akane made this for you Ranma. It wouldn't be right if I ate any of it."

Akane rolled her eyes, "Ranma, don't listen to her. She's in another of her moods."

Ranma sat down apprehensively, but hunger overcame suspicion as he spooned what could only be loosely be identified as 'chunks' of food over his rice.

"It smells... interesting, Akane-chan," said Ranma eyeing the breakfast.

"Eat up, there's plenty," Akane said offering a few pieces of what might have been an omelet but only Kami-sama knew for sure.

Ranma couldn't help but smile at Akane's happy expression, "Well... you made it Akane-chan, I'm sure it'll be good."

Ranko avoided sniggering at him only by slurping up a few more noodles.

Akane handed Ranma a pair of chopsticks and she apprehensively watched as Ranma ate her cooking. He bit through the chopsticks at his first mouthful. Akane blinked at him as his face turned pale... then slightly green... then purple... before he managed to make a convulsive swallow, chopsticks bits and all.

Ranma stood up suddenly and said in a strained voice, "That was great, Akane. I've got to get going... I might be late getting to class!" before he dashed off.

Akane called after him, "But you're classes won't be for another hour!"

Ranko was fighting to keep from laughing as she said,

"Incidentally, Akane... do you ever taste your own cooking?"

"No. Why?" Akane replied, slightly confused, "Should I?"

Ranko shook her head, and noted sagely, "No... true gourmets never taste their own dishes. You'd better save it, though, he might want some for tonight. Or better yet," Ranko added brightly, as a thought occurred to her, "Make him a proper feast! To apologize for fighting with him. Peace offering and all that."

Akane looked suspiciously at her, "Do you think that would work?"

Ranko nodded, "It'll be perfect! There's an old saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so show him your love by making him a good meal!"

Akane blushed slightly, "Ranko!"

"Trust me! I'm the Goddess of Affection! I know these things! It's guaranteed to work!"

Akane looked at Ranko suspiciously, "Why are you so helpful all of a sudden?"

Ranko said in tones laden with mock tragedy, "Woe is me, that my own family chooses to suspect my good intentions!"

"That's because you don't have any good intentions, Ranko."

Akane replied, exasperated.

Ranko sighed, "Aw, Akane... didn't it occur to you that I might be getting used to this place? Besides... when you guys fight, it's a little tough for me to get any sleep."

"Okay..." Akane conceded, but still suspicious. "I think I might actually be warming up a little to  
Saotome..." said Ranko sweetly.

"I suppose it's possible... but I still suspect something's up," she shot Ranko a suspicious look, "'...warming up to him...'

"Not like that, Hammer girl! Why are you so jealous all the time?"

"I am not jealous!"

"So you say, but with a cutie like Ranma I can't really say I'm surprised... I mean with his reputation with women and all..."

"You know he's not like that, Ranko!"

"Really?" Ranko asked in a bemused tone as Akane stormed off to put the largely untouched breakfast away.

Ranko laughed lightly before turning back to her breakfast, doing her best to hide her amusement. Akane's cooking was notorious throughout Heaven. Even the most powerful and hungry First rank deities politely declined any offers of food made by Akane Tendo. Ranko knew this and was not touching any food Akane had a hand in preparing with anything short of a ten foot pole.

Even then, her food might even try to eat the pole.

Ranko wondered idly if Ranma was okay... she knew it was cruel... perhaps even utterly heartless and needlessly sadistic to force the mortal idiot to eat even more of Akane's cooking  
after he'd so narrowly managed to avoid her attempt at breakfast... but all is fair in love and war, Saotome... And this was war. If it takes something as loathsome as Akane's cooking to  
be rid of you and on my way home, then so be it!

Outside, Ranma managed to spit out most of the noxious mess that he'd swallowed before he rinsed his mouth out with some water. His eyes were still watering and it was almost impossible  
to get the hideous taste out of his mouth.

"No doubt about it," he muttered to himself as he staggered to the van, "She's still mad at me... Otherwise she wouldn't try to poison me like that..."

O-O-O-O

"So where are you going, Akane?" Ranko asked as she watched her cousin put on one of Ranma's coats.

"I've got some shopping to do. I need some things for dinner tonight," Akane replied.

Ranko smiled, "You're taking my advice?"

"Yeah," Akane smiled back without realizing, "Once in a while, even you come up with a good idea. I'm sure a nice home cooked dinner will be just the thing to make up for this morning's argument."

"It'll be fabulous, trust me. He's going to love you for it!" Ranko replied enthusiastically.

Akane shifted uneasily at Ranko's pleasant tone, "Are you feeling alright, Ranko? Its not normal or you to be so nice."

Ranko replied with a mysterious grin in Akane's direction, noting to herself, I can afford to be nice. Once Saotome gets a taste of that noxious concoction she'll be trying to pass off as  
dinner, we'll be out of here so fast his head's going to spin.

"Take care then. There's all sorts of weirdoes out there, you know," said Ranko.

Akane left muttering, "Well, you would know."

The market was a comfortable walking distance from the temple and Akane thought she could use the walk to clear her mind. She silently berated herself for hitting Ranma when she did... and reflected that he was probably still upset at her. She sighed. Her temper had gotten the best of her again. You shouldn't surprise a person like that. If Ranma had tried to kiss her at another time, she mused, she probably would have let him. But first thing in the morning and so suddenly at that... well he was dreaming, she conceded. About a wedding no less, she blushed.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "Hey... Akane! Akane!"

Akane whirled around and saw a handsome man approaching her, waving enthusiastically. She blinked and realized that it was actually Ukyou, "Oh. Hi, Ukyou," she said.

Ukyou smiled as she caught up with Akane, "You were really out of it, sugar. I've been calling you for the past couple of minutes."

"Oh, sorry. I was just... thinking," Akane replied.

Ukyou nodded and gave her a knowing smile, "About Ranchan?"

Akane blushed, "No... of course not!" she replied with considerably more force than she'd intended, "Okay. Maybe."

"Thought so..." Ukyou replied smugly, "Where are you headed?"

"The market. I have some shopping to do," Akane replied.

"No kidding," Ukyou said, "Me too. I need to get some more soba noodles and vegetables for the restaurant and there's this really good place nearby."

Ukyou noticed Akane's distracted expression and wondered what was wrong... it probably did have something to do with Ranma, she thought, may as well find out...

"Do you want some company?" Ukyou asked brightly.

Akane considered this for a minute... Ukyou was probably the best person to talk to about this. After all, she was Ranma's best friend and knew him best. Akane smiled, "Sure, why not?"

O-O-O-O

Ranma walked into the Martial Arts Varsity Clubhouse for practice that afternoon. Mousse was there and so was Shampoo, but that was to be expected. She rarely left his side, still being rather uncomfortable in this new setting, and Mousse was very protective of his "little sister". Ryoga was there as well, helping to train one of the new recruits. Most of the other members of the Varsity were late, but this was the usual state of affairs. The coach ran a fairly loose ship.

Ranma was in a rather thoughtful mood. He was worried that Akane was still mad at him for some reason. She claimed that he'd kissed her... which he didn't! He was sure! It's not like he was  
likely to forget something like that... This was Akane, for goodness' sake! That was definitely not something he'd forget about... He admitted to himself that he'd been wanting to kiss her for weeks now... the chance just never quite came up. That and the fact that when a chance to do so did come up, he'd lose his nerve... It was almost laughable. The two of them had been living quite closely for the past month and he hadn't even been able to manage a peck on the cheek.  
Unfortunately, he mused, it also looked like she wasn't too eager for him to do anything of the sort. He was absolutely certain that he hadn't kissed her. Or tried to kiss her. Or laid in wait for her to come to him unsuspecting so he could pounce on her. Well... he was mostly certain... he could've been dreaming, he conceded, but he couldn't quite remember what he was dreaming  
about.

And then there was the other thing that was really worrying him... that the only reason she was here at all was because of that stupid wish. He wasn't sure if she liked him or not. One minute she was very sweet and understanding... the next she'd be a raving lunatic. He was half wishing that he'd never made the wish in the first place, but stopped that train of thought... Because he did want Akane to be around. Even if she didn't really like him. But another thought occurred to him as he realized that maybe... just maybe... Akane was just as unhappy as Ranko was at  
being stuck on Earth with him... she was probably just better at hiding it from him. That thought brought him no comfort at all... he considered actually allowing the contracts to be broken... At  
the very least they'd be free to go back home, and he wouldn't have to worry about Ranko trying to transform him ever again... but he didn't want her to leave. If she'd only just tell him what  
she really wanted... he didn't know what that was... if he knew, life would be so much simpler for all of them...

Not realizing what he was doing, Ranma suddenly clenched his hand into a fist and lashed out blindly, shouting, "What the heck does she really want!?!"

He was rather surprised as he felt something solid connect with the end of his fist. Mousse who was having a very interesting, if one sided, conversation with the coat rack (which he thought was Shampoo), crumpled to the ground saying, "Whadjou do that for?"

"Um... Sorry about that Mousse..." said Ranma as he helped the Chinese martial artist up. Mousse was somewhat stunned and he'd lost his glasses again, but was otherwise fine.

Ryoga paused his sparring session is pink-haired opponent and asked Ranma in jokingly, "Trouble in paradise, Saotome?"

"Don't get started Ryoga," Ranma muttered under his breath. Ryoga looked at him with some surprise and wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I heard you moved out of Ucchan's last week." Ryoga said after a meaningful pause.

Ranma nodded absently and said, "Yeah. You'll be happy to learn that the girls and I have our own place out in the suburbs now..."

Mousse muttered, "How do you do it, Saotome? What bizarre power do you have over women?"

Shampoo hit Mousse lightly on the arm, "Mousse-sempai just want to know so he can do it too!"

Ranma rolled his eyes, and replied sharply, "It's not my fault these things just happen to me, okay?! I'm stuck with a stupid tomboy and her stupider cousin, and its not my fault!"

"Whatever," Ryoga replied awkwardly, before returning to his sparring session.

Ranma blushed and sought for something to change the conversation with, "Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. I still have some stuff at the dorm, right? You guys said you'd send it to me once I had an address to send it to."

Mousse, traded a myopic glance with Ryoga, "Erhm... stuff, Saotome?"

Ranma got a suspicious look in his eyes, "Yeah. My hot plate is still at the dorm. Along with my TV, my VCR, the little fridge, my magazines, most of my clothes and about a dozen videos... You know. My stuff."

Ryoga smiled sheepishly, "Oh... Yeah. That stuff..."

"What did you guys do with it?!" Ranma asked heatedly. The day had already begun badly... he did not need this aggravation.

Mousse did his best to try and calm Ranma down, "There's no need to take that tone of voice with us Saotome... we're all friends here..."

"I'll tell you we're still friends when I find out what you did to my stuff!" Ranma roared.

Shampoo put her hands on her hips and finally said, "Why you no tell, Saotome-sempai what you do? Shampoo thought you say is okay with Saotome-sempai!"

Ranma looked at Shampoo, "What? What did these two do this time?"

"They put Saotome-sempai's things for auction so Martial Arts Varsity Clubhouse have new windows," she gestured broadly, "See? Is nice windows. They say you no mind. You no mind,  
Saotome-sempai, yes?"

Shampoo could see the expression on Ranma's face and the faint reddish nimbus of energy surrounding him. She considered these and quickly got out of his way, "Because if Saotome-sempai mind... Shampoo just want you to know Mousse no have anything to do with it. It all Hibiki-sempai fault..."

Ryoga made a small choked sound, "Sha- Shampoo!"

"Saotome... you did break the windows kicking Kuno out the last time..." Mousse said lamely.

Ranma cracked his knuckles and walked purposefully towards Ryoga and Mousse, "Mind... why would I mind..?"

Ryoga backed up slowly, laughing nervously, "So you don't mind?"

His laugh was cut off abruptly as the front of his shirt and Mousse's were suddenly grabbed and lifted by a furious Ranma, "This has been a really, really rotten day. Before it ends I expect you two jerks to have all of my stuff... and I do mean all of it, in front of my new home by tonight or I'm going to redecorate both your faces, is that clear?!!!"

"Perfectly," said the surprised Ryoga.

"Um... Absolutely, Saotome," replied Mousse in a strangled tone.

The furious Ranma dropped the two on the training mat and stormed off without another word.

"Saotome-sempai! What about practice?" Shampoo called after Ranma, but he ignored her.

"He didn't take that as well as I thought he would," murmured Ryoga as he picked himself up. And why was he glowing like that? He added silently.

Mousse shook his head slightly dazed, "How are we going to get all of Saotome's belongings back? I don't even remember who we sold most of it to..."

"No worry, Mousse-sempai. Shampoo keep all receipts."

"We still can't get it back even if we do find the new owners!" moaned Ryoga, "The Martial Arts Varsity coffers aren't exactly bursting..."

"Um... Ryoga," Mousse said, "Do you know where Saotome's new address is?"

"Er... no," after a pause Ryoga added, "But something tells me we'd better find out real quick."

"I agree," Mousse replied addressing a point about three inches to the left of Ryouga's ear, "I've never seen him that mad before,"

Ryoga murmured, "Yeah. Not even after that time we rented him out to the Nekomi Fashion Club to be their model..."

Shampoo helped Mousse up and meekly suggested, "Maybe he and Akane have fight?"

Ryoga and Mousse looked at one another, or actually Ryoga looked at Mousse and Mousse looked in his general direction.

"You don't suppose..." started Mousse.

"...Akane left him?" Ryoga said finishing the thought. As is standard in these matters, within moments rumor and speculation began to make the rounds of the campus...

O-O-O-O

Ranma finally got home. Several dozen guys had pestered him about Akane, as he was leaving... traffic was horrible... and to top it off, he realized belatedly that he'd left his bag back at  
the Clubhouse.

"I'm home," he called out as he shut the front door and prepared himself. A slender arm suddenly lashed out and attempted to strike him on the chest. Ranma easily jumped straight up, jumping off the doorway, and landed with a flip behind Ranko.

Ranko snapped her fingers and remarked casually, "Missed."

"Don't get started, Ranko. I'm not in the mood." Ranma snapped.

Ranko remarked wryly, "Don't worry, Saotome. Your darling fiance just cooked you up a wonderful dinner... I'm sure that should cheer you up."

Ranma brightened up, "She did?" but his eyes narrowed again, "You know... now that I think about it... you didn't happen to have anything to do with breakfast did you? I mean it certainly tasted like something you'd do..."

The red headed goddess merely smiled innocently at him (no mean feat) and replied, "Saotome, you know perfectly well I don't wake up that early..."

Ranma got a relieved look on his face. He was positive that she was probably lying to him again. So it was Ranko... no one could possibly cook that bad except intentionally, he thought.  
Ranko could positively feel the relief pouring from Saotome... she smirked to herself, Just wait until he tastes dinner... "You didn't touch dinner did you?"

Ranko gestured to herself and fluttered her lashes at him,

"Moi? Akane wouldn't even let me in the kitchen. She said it was all a surprise for you..."

She opened the door and stepped outside, "Oh, by the way, Saotome. Don't wait up," she smiled seductively at him, "I've got a date..."

Ranma nervously waved her off, "Er... okay. Enjoy yourself."

She turned and faced him a final time, "No, Ranma... you enjoy yourself," she walked to the gate laughing pleasantly at some joke only she understood.

Ranma blinked nervously and thought to himself, Now what did she mean by that?

A now familiar voice called to him from the kitchen, "Ranma? Is that you?"

"Yeah, Akane-chan."

She stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands absently on her apron as she took it off. She smiled at him and Ranma was momentarily stunned. The last time he'd seen Akane in a dress was when they'd first met. Truth to tell, that was more of a uniform to Akane than a real dress, but still. Add to that the fact that Ranma was too busy getting hammered to worry about what she was wearing... Since then, based on their rather limited budget, Akane had mostly been wearing Ranma and Ukyou's old clothes... Ranko was another matter entirely and Ranma often suspected that she just conjured her clothes as necessary.

Akane was wearing a long powder blue skirt that reached a little past her knees and a white silk blouse that suited her perfectly. The part that had really surprised him was what she'd  
done to her hair. It ws now quite short. Almost a pageboy cut. It looked absolutely great on her. Ranma's heart speeded up involuntarily...

"Wha... wha... what did you do to your hair, Akane?!" he asked, dazed.

She smiled as she deliberately brushed a stray strand from her face, "Do you like it?"

Ranma gulped nervously, "Uh... it looks great."

"Thanks. Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you go wait in the dining room?"

"Um... yeah," he replied, not sure what else to say. He walked almost by autopilot into their dining area. He was still in shock. Akane always was cute, but now she looked positively devastating... he waited impatiently for her to come back. He definitely wanted to see her again to make sure he hadn't dreamed it.

He sniffed curiously and realized that some truly wonderful scents were wafting in from the kitchen. He thought to himself, Wow... it smells great... it definitely must have been Ranko  
sabotaging Akane's breakfast... I wonder how she didn't notice.

Akane walked in cheerfully holding a smoking bowl, "It's your favorite, Ranma. Curry."

"Wow. Thanks," Ranma replied happily, not knowing what else to say. He was having trouble tearing his eyes away from Akane and murmurred, "You look really great."

"Thanks," Akane blushed, "Well, eat up, Ranma." She urged him, watching him  
intently.

"Sure!" he said transferring generous portions of rice and curry onto his plate. Ranma eagerly shoveled the food into his mouth before his eyes suddenly watered, his face turned red and  
his expression turned to one of horror.

Akane face was a mask of concern as she asked, "What's wrong?"

Saotome managed to squeak out, "Water... it's too hot..!"

She sighed as she passed him a pitcher of water, the contents of which he gulped down hurriedly, steam rising slowly from his mouth, "Honestly, Ranma you could have waited for it to  
cool you know."

Ranma breathed out the last of the steam as he finished the water, "Akane-chan that was definitely worth getting burned for."

He proceeded to eat more of the meal, this time at a more sedate pace to allow it to cool, "Best I've had in years."

Akane heaved a sigh of relief, "I was so worried. This is sort of an apology for this morning..."

Ranma looked up from his meal and looked into Akane's eyes,

"Akane..."

"I'm sorry I hit you. You were asleep and didn't know what you were doing. And breakfast wasn't all that grea..."

Ranma laughed lightly, cutting her off, "Don't worry about breakfast. I know about Ranko sabotaging it."

Akane asked, puzzled, "Ranko..? What does Ranko have to do with anything?"

"Well, its obvious," said Ranma, wiping his mouth on the table napkin, "If you compare that awful mess you served for breakfast and this great spread..."

"'Awful mess'?" Akane asked furiously.

"Yeah. I mean, food can't possibly taste that bad unless someone intentionally does it that way. I mean, no one cooks that bad... The cockroaches wouldn't touch that junk..." Ranma plunged on, heedless.

Akane was glowing slightly and thunder was rolling in the distance. She reached under the table for the familiar handle of her hammer. She gripped it tightly as her erstwhile boyfriend continued on about the faults of breakfast.

"... and furthermore..." Ranma suddenly cut himself off when he realized Akane was already growling mildly and staring daggers at him, "Um... What's wrong Akane? There's no need to go  
chasing Ranko now... I mean we're finally having a nice quiet dinner... together," he added after a pause, "Why are you looking at me like that..?"

Akane furiously reminded herself again and again must keep my temper in check... must stay calm... must stay calm... her aura guttered out eventually and she seemed to collapse a little. She sighed heavily, "Ranma. Ranko didn't have anything to do with breakfast I made it all myself."

Ranma facefaulted and stared at the terrific curry he'd been demolishing, "Um... waitasecond... you cooked THAT..? and you cooked THIS?" his mind refused to grasp the concept, "Um... maybe you're just not a breakfast making type cook?" he tried.

"It's okay. I know I'm not a very good cook. You don't have to lie..."

"But this curry is great!" replied Ranma.

"I had help," Akane replied reluctantly.

"Oh."

"I just wanted to be able to cook for you... You know... like Ukyou can. Like practically every other woman who's after you..."

Ranma couldn't help but smile, "Thanks, Akane-chan... but it's okay. I mean, if you can't cook."  
"Ranma..."

"So what if they can cook," he added softly, "I mean, I'd rather be with you than them..."

They both blushed.

There was an awkward pause for a moment before they spoke up at the same time.

"Hey, why not have..."

"Here, have some mo..."

"You first," Akane said, now smiling.

"Well, you may as well have some too, Akane-chan. You probably missed breakfast again. We can't spend all of our meals with you just watching me eat."

Akane flushed, "I was not watching you eat, you egotistical jerk!"

"Yes, you were!" Ranma shot back.

"Why do I bother with you?" Akane asked without much anger.

Ranma shrugged and smiled as he spooned some curry onto her plate, "Because you don't have a choice."

"True," Akane conceded, taking the plate, "But you're still a perverted egotistical jerk who tries to grope goddesses in the morning."

"I did not try to grope you!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

Akane gave him a wicked grin and said suddenly, "Next time try it when I'm ready."

Ranma blinked and blushed... she absolutely took his breath away when she smiled like that. He smiled back, "I just might."

"Good," she said taking a mouthful of curry, "Hey, this is good..."

Ranma nodded in agreement.

"Stupid tomboy goddess with a hammer," Ranma said lightly, smiling.

"Sex-changing lecher," she answered mildly.

"As long as we have that clear," Ranma responded around a mouthful of curry.

O-O-O-O

Ukyou watched the two of them from the kitchen and finally heaved a sigh of relief. The both of them were both so high spirited she was worried if it would ever work out between them.

She had to admit... it did hurt a little to hear him say that he'd rather be with Akane than anyone else... even her... but she already knew he was in love with her. Even if the dumb jackass can't admit it to himself.

Akane and Ukyou had spent the morning together. Which was plenty of fun, she had to admit. Akane was good company. When they'd finished with their groceries, Ukyou had finally managed to wheedle the entire story out of Akane. The girl was a hopeless romantic, Ukyou mused, but she had the right idea. Once she'd found out about Akane's planned dinner, she'd insisted that they go shopping and Akane make a quick visit to a parlor. She hadn't  
let her hair down in quite a while, literally. It had cost a bit... but Ukyou could certainly afford it. The restaurant was doing pretty well after all. And it wasn't like she had anything else to spend her money on, except the restaurant.

She looked down at herself and smiled faintly. Akane had insisted that she get a dress too... it had been quite a few years since she'd worn one. Or a bra for that matter. She had to admit, though, it did look pretty good on her when she was trying it out back at the store. She laughed quietly to herself as she peeked out at the two lovebirds again. Akane was now feeding Ranma some curry from her plate and Ranma was doing the same from his... they looked so sweet together she mused, even as she felt the knife twist deeper into her heart.

She shook her head at her best friend as she began cleaning up the mess she and Akane had made of the kitchen in an effort to distract herself. She was careful not to make any noise, as Akane  
didn't want Ranchan to know that she was there. Ukyou was amazed at Akane's utter lack of skill when it came to the culinary arts.

The woman couldn't even boil water properly. It was incredible. It took the better part of the afternoon for Ukyou to help Akane whip a single meal into anything even remotely resembling  
something edible. Truth be told, that curry had started its life as an attempt at sukiyaki. Thank goodness for Ranchan's appetite, Ukyou added silently.

A weary voice called out as someone burst through the back door, "Is this the Greenwood Dojo?"

Ukyou recognized the voice instantly and rushed to meet the owner... it was Ryoga.

She clubbed him over the head with a frying pan and said to him, "Quiet, you jerk!"

Ryoga looked at her with surprise, "Ucchan? What are you doing here?"

"ME? What are you doing here?!" she asked in a fierce whisper.

"Isn't this the dojo?"

"No, you moron! This is the temple where Ranma lives!"

"Ranma lives in a temple?" Ryoga asked.

She nodded.

Ryoga's face darkened, "You're staying with Ranma again?! He just moved out of your restaurant and now you've moved in with him?! Is this why Akane left him?!"

She whapped him over the head with the frying pan again,

"No, you idiot! I'm trying to help Akane! And keep your voice down!"

"Okay," he finally whispered back crossly , rubbing his head gingerly where she'd hit him.  
Something Ryoga said finally registered to Ukyou and she whirled on him suddenly, brandishing the frying pan in a threatening manner, "What do you mean Akane left Ranma?!" she asked in a raised voice.

"I thought you said we had to keep quiet?" whispered Ryoga. She sighed as she dragged the eternally lost man with her to the kitchen, "Yeah, yeah... keep quiet... I am not going to  
let you ruin this for them."

"Ruin what?!" Ryoga asked sharply, feeling as if he had just walked into the movie a few minutes late and no one would tell him what had happened.

"Dinner. Now just shut up would you?"

"Okay..."

Ukyou fumed, "I swear, Ryoga... you ruin this I'll never forgive you."

Ryoga blinked and replied, "Does that mean you forgive me already for the wedding?"

She shot him a cold look which shut him up immediately, "No. You've got a lot you haven't been forgiven for."

"Um... right," Ryoga muttered sheepishly. Ryoga glanced at Ukyou and tentatively said, "You look... very nice, Ucchan."

Ukyou merely glared at him, "I have nothing to say to you."

"But..."

"Ryoga," she replied tightly, "The only reason I haven't kicked your sorry behind out of here is because you'd probably get lost again... probably end up breaking some other poor girl's  
heart."

Ryoga had no response to that. She sighed and looked him directly in the face, Ranma and Akane momentarily forgotten. She was amazed at how difficult it was to stay angry at him. She noticed that he had that look on his face again... it was so pathetic and utterly adorable at the  
same time that she couldn't help it...

"So you know about my bad sense of---"

"Of course I know, but it still doesn't change the facts..."

Desperate to keep her anger burning she asked him sharply, "How could you get lost to your own wedding?"

"It was pretty easy..." Ryoga replied, rubbing the back of his head and blushing.

"It... was... pretty... easy?!" she mocked him angrily, raising her voice. She focused her rage again. She knew exactly why she hated Ryoga Hibiki...

"Hey, quiet remember?" said Ryoga pleadingly.

"Don't you 'quiet' me, you stupid pig! How dare you..?! Not only do you humiliate me, ruin my life, abandon me... you've got the nerve to stand there and tell me it was easy?!!"

"I meant getting lost is easy for me! Don't you think it was tough for me too? Do you have any idea how many miles I trudged looking for you?!"

"How many?" Ukyou heatedly dared him to tell her.

"I've got no idea either, but there were a lot!"

Ukyou couldn't help it and burst out in giggles, her anger draining away from her with each fresh burst of laughter. Ryoga looked puzzled for a moment then joined her easy laughter. She tried to shush him, but was barely able to keep from laughing herself... by the time they'd both managed to regain their composure, Ukyou had tears in her eyes...

"I knew there was reason why I fell in love with you..." she said, still giggling, not even realizing that she had said it.

Ryoga's face suddenly turned serious again as he knelt in front of Ukyou, "Uk... Ukyou... will you marry me? This time I promise to do it right. I won't leave the dorm alone and I'll have someone bring me to the..."

Ukyou sobered up immediately and faced Ryoga, surprise evident on her face. She said to him, "My God... you really mean that, don't you? We haven't seen each other for three years and you think just like that," she snapped her fingers, "Hey, wow, everything's fine..?"

She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at him, not as cold now as before, in truth, almost sympathetically, "Wake up, Ryoga. I still haven't forgiven you for leaving me. Maybe I never will. We've both changed... I'm not that starry eyed school girl who got swept off her feet. Maybe I don't want to marry you anymore, did you think of that?"

Ryoga gulped nervously, "Yeah... but...

"The point is, Ryoga, we're different people now. I don't want to marry you. Give me enough time and plenty of good behavior on your part, and I might... I repeat might, start to think of you as a friend again... but I'm not making the same mistake twice. We are not getting married."

Ryoga's face looked resolved as he picked himself up off his knees, "I can live with that... I guess... for now."

Ukyou replied, in a sweet mocking tone, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll change your mind yet, Ucchan. Just you wait."

Ukyou looked at him and said softly, "I don't think so."

She turned away from Ryoga momentarily to glance at Ranma and Akane through the doorway. The pair were chatting amiably and didn't seem to have noticed anything... she smiled vaguely in  
their direction and felt a tear trace its way down her cheek. She didn't know if she was crying because she was lying to Ryoga or she was crying for Ranma. She wiped the tear on the back of one hand and turned to look Ryoga straight in the eye, "Oh yeah... one last thing."

"What?" Ryoga asked.

She suddenly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him towards her and cinched him in a tight embrace. She whispered into his chest, "I missed you, you stupid fool."

Ryoga returned the hug and murmured, "Me too..."

In the dining room, Akane gave a small knowing smile... after all, she'd spent years controlling the paths of chaotic functions like storms... it wasn't that tough to set Ryoga's feet on the proper course...

_To be continued...._


	6. Chapter 6

**PART VI: Of Chaos Aforethought and Revealing Hindsight**

Ranko came home at around two in the morning... which it must be noted was pretty early for one of her dates. She stepped out of the limo and gave the driver a final cheerful wave before  
entering the gate. The chauffeur drove off, fanning himself vigorously he muttered, "The master certainly knows how to pick 'em..."

Ranko, of course, did not bother with getting her own set of house keys when Ranma and Akane were changing the locks. That was the sort of mundane... EARTHLY trivia that she refused to put up with... Not that she needed keys anyway, she preferred passing through the walls anyway. It reminded her that despite everything, she was still a Goddess.

She phased through the wall and into the common area... she fully expected the remains of a hastily disgorged meal and maybe Saotome out cold from food poisoning. Or from getting cold cocked by Akane. It didn't matter. Soon she'd be back in Heaven. As far away from him as possible.

As she poked her head in, she saw that the television was still on. Whatever channel it had been on had long since signed off, but the black and white test pattern on the screen still provided some measure of light... just enough light to see that Ranma and Akane were both still there, asleep on the couch. Ranma had an arm around Akane shoulders, and she was resting her head  
on his chest, an arm wrapped around his waist. They were both snoring softly, practically in time with each other. Ranko's jaw dropped. This was not the way this was supposed to play out. Ranko stomped over to Akane and pulled her up off of Ranma, shaking her roughly to wake her up.

"Wha--?" Akane mumbled as she slowly opened her eyes.

"What is going on here?!" Ranko screamed, "I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and you're sleeping with him already?! Didn't you feed him the dinner you cooked?!"

Akane nodded, still sleepy (otherwise Ranko would long since have been hammered into the floor), "Yes I did... he loved it. Your advice worked great Ranko, thanks..."

"He's not mad at you anymore?" asked Ranko anxiously.

Akane sleepily shook her head.

"You two have made up?" Ranko added, a creeping tone of panic entering her voice.

Akane nodded.

Ranko released Akane's lapels in shock. A perfectly good... no a GREAT plan... shot to hell.

Akane, who up until now did not fully comprehend what was going on suddenly realized that whatever had been holding her up was now gone and gravity was still in effect. She fell to the  
floor with a thud. Of course the impact did wonders to clear up any cobwebs... Akane sprang to her feet and grabbed Ranko by the neck. "What did you do that for Ranko?!"

"I have just about had it!!" Ranko ranted, breaking out of Akane's grip, "Nothing I do is ever going to break the two of you up is it?!"

"I thought you'd given up on that already?!" asked Akane, not really surprised.

"Of course not!"

Ranma snorted in his sleep at that proclamation.

"You were lying again!" Akane replied, offended, "No wonder you haven't been promoted in so long!"

Ranko cried, "Oh, shut up! Thanks to you and your boyfriend we'll never see home again! We could go home any time we want, but you keep clinging on to him and this stupid place! How can you be so selfish?!"

"Me?" asked Akane incredulously, "Selfish?! Look who's talking!"

The two goddesses merely glared angrily at each other... sparks of electricity leaping from both of them to ground into the nearby furniture... energy was beginning to swirl around both  
of them... Ranma, totally unaware of anything wrong, turned over in his sleep.

Unseen by the two of them, the picture on the TV suddenly changed from the test pattern into what appeared to be some sort of news show... the newscaster was an attractive brunette woman  
with short hair. From off camera, a piece of paper was handed to her and she said, "And this just in: Two goddesses nearly destroyed a temple in the Nekomi residential district, but tragedy was narrowly averted by the timely arrival of a third goddess."

The two continued to glare at each other, their auras intensifying.

"AHEM!" the newscaster said from the TV, tapping on the inside of the screen, "Hello, out there..."

Surprised the two women turned to stare at the TV, their aura's guttering out.

"Say isn't that--" said Akane

Ranko peered closer, "She looks awfully familiar."

The newscaster shrugged at them from the screen, "Now, girls. Is that any way to treat family?"

"Nabiki?" Akane and Ranko cried simultaneously.

The anchor woman took a step forward... or she seemed to, because all of a sudden her head had popped out of the TV screen. She smiled at the two goddesses and said, "That's me. The one and only." Her fingers suddenly pushed out of the sides of the screen and grasped the edges. Almost effortlessly, she pulled herself entirely out of the screen and stood in front of the TV for a moment, dusting herself off. She muttered to herself, "Cheap, broken down five year old model TV... "

Ranko blurted out, "What are you doing here?"

"Now, now, Ranko... is that anyway to greet your favorite goddess?"

"I'd greet you with a flamethrower, only they wouldn't issue me one down here," Ranko muttered.

Akane smiled, "It's good to see you Nabiki."

"You too Akane," Nabiki replied warmly, "So how's my little sister and my favorite cousin?"

"I'm your only cousin," Ranko muttered.

"Details, details..." Nabiki replied airily.

"We're okay, but what ARE you doing here?" Akane asked.

Nabiki smiled impishly, "I'll tell you-"

"Here we go again," Ranko muttered.

"- if someone gets me something cold to drink... you two didn't leave a forwarding address, it took me a while to find this place."

"I'll get it," Ranko said as she headed for the kitchen, "The sooner we find out what she wants, the better..."

Nabiki watched Ranko walk off and commented to Akane, "She never changes does she?"

"Nope." Akane replied.

The older woman looked around the room, "Nice place, Akane."

"Thanks."

"Is this Saotome?" Nabiki asked, peering into Ranma's face, "He's even cuter in person. His picture on file doesn't do him justice," she cupped his chin in her hands and moved his head back and forth somewhat to see his profile better.

Akane felt a surge of jealousy and she snapped, "Yeah, he is, now stop doing that!"

Ranma, of course, chose this point to wake up. He found himself staring at a very attractive brunette woman in her mid-twenties. Her hair was bobbed and on her face were marks very  
similar to the ones Akane and Ranko had. She was dressed in a rather conservative outfit reminiscent of a woman's business suit, but more flowing. She had a hand on his cheek and seemed to be smiling hungrily at him. "Good evening, Saotome-san," she said warmly. Ranma, in a panic tried to look around and realized that Akane was looking at them with a 'someone will pay for this' look in her eye.

Eager to avoid conflict, Ranma tried to pull away from the woman. Unfortunately he was sitting on the couch at the time. He managed to upset the couch, forcing it flip over... and unfortunately carrying Nabiki with him. Akane winced as the couch's back crashed on the floor. Her look of concern was clouded by a look of anger as she saw Nabiki sprawled on top of Ranma in a rather compromising position.

"Gak!" was all Ranma managed to blurt out, before he realized that his face was pressed into Nabiki's ample front.

Nabiki chuckled as she pulled herself up a little, "Oh my, Saotome, you are a fast worker aren't you?"

"Nabiki! Get off of him!" Akane roared.

"Now what?" asked Ranko as she walked back into the room with a glass of water. She caught sight of Nabiki in a tangled heap with Ranma and laughed out loud, "Way to go, Nabiki!"

"Ranko stop encouraging them!" Akane snapped as she helped the two up.

Nabiki dusted herself off and said to Ranma, "That was some welcome Saotome..."

"Er.. who are you?" he asked.

Nabiki produced a business card which she handed over to Ranma, "I'll let you have that information for free. Nabiki Tendo. Goddess of Transactions, 1st rank, 2nd Category. Currently  
attached to the Divine Contracts Enforcement Office. I'm also Akane's sister and Ranko's cousin."

Ranma read over the card, "Er... right... so what are you—

Ranko pushed the glass in front of Nabiki, "Here you go. Now tell us why you're here."

Nabiki accepted the glass and smiled at Ranko, "Thank you. I'm here because your contracts are under review. We're trying to determine if there was some fault in the system for accepting those two weird contracts."

"U-u-under review?!" Akane sputtered.

"Alright!" cried Ranko, "The enforcement system is going to be shut off for the duration of the review right?"

Nabiki nodded and said guardedly, "Enforcement is shut down for standard reviews, yes..."

Ranko grinned cattily, "Yessss..."

"What's going on?" Ranma asked.

Akane turned to Ranma in a panic, "She's reviewing our contracts with you! If she decides that the contracts shouldn't be kept, they'll both be terminated and I'll have to go back up to heaven!"

Ranko cast an irritated glance at Akane, "Oh, stop whining..."

"Ranko, stop picking on Akane!" Ranma replied.

Nabiki grinned and shook her head, "Not exactly the scene of domestic tranquillity I'd hoped for..."

All three paused at Nabiki's statement before she continued evenly, "This is not going to look good..."

Akane quickly walked to Ranma's side and grabbed him by the waist, "We're not fighting are we?" she asked sweetly.

Ranma still somewhat disoriented merely nodded.

Ranko said snidely, "They're lying, we fight like this all the time."

"I see." Nabiki said finally, "Well, I just wanted to inform you about it and I'll be acting as an observer for tomorrow. If you need me here's the number of the hotel I'll be staying at..." she passed another piece of paper to Akane.

Ranko read the paper over Akane's shoulder, "Say, isn't that the number of that quickie love motel near the ma...erhm..." said Ranko.

"How'd you know about that?" asked Ranma.

Nabiki smiled at Akane, "Unless you have a better suggestion?"

"Um... why not stay here?" Akane offered. Better stay on her good side, Akane reasoned.

"What?" asked Ranko.

Ranma smiled sleepily, "Sure, why not..? We've got some extra futons around here somewhere..."

Nabiki replied, "Why, thank you. You won't even notice I'm here."

Ranko muttered to Ranma and Akane, "You're making a big mistake..."

"What was that, Ranko?" Nabiki asked sweetly.

"Oh, nothing," Ranko replied just as sweetly, "Nothing at all, dear cousin..."

"I was hoping you'd offer to let me stay," Nabiki added, "So in return, I'm going to do what I can to finish this investigation with the minimum of fuss and headaches for everyone. Okay?"

Akane nodded, somewhat worriedly, while Ranko gave a shrug. After all there was only one possible outcome for this investigation, as far as she was concerned. The sooner she got away from Saotome and Akane, the better.

As Ranma went off to look for the spare futon, he couldn't help but think that somehow... some way... he was going to be the one who would end up in trouble because of this...

O-O-O-O

It was at lunch the following morning that Ranma found out just how accurate his assessment was. He was eating lunch in the quad with Ryoga, Mousse and Shampoo. Ryoga and Mousse were arguing over whether or not the club had sufficient funds to get through the next semester. Shampoo was, as usual, siding with Mousse. Ranma was quite intelligently ignoring the discussion altogether and was busily demolishing the lunch Akane had prepared for him. It looked like something the cat had dragged in and jumped on and there was a rather strange aftertaste, but was otherwise pretty tasty.

No one had any idea where Nabiki had disappeared to after helping her get settled in for the night. He and Akane had left Ranko, this morning, still asleep. Akane was worried and wanted  
to stay with Ranma all day, but she was working at Ucchan's new branch in the cafeteria today and they couldn't afford for her to take a day off. She would be joining them in a short while, but  
Akane's apprehension had already begun to affect Ranma.

After a few more minutes of arguing Ryoga suddenly turned to Ranma and said, "This is all your fault Ranma!"

Ranma was just finishing off the last of his lunch as he turned to Ryoga, "What are you talking about, now?"

"Thanks to you, the Martial Arts Varsity's funds have been reduced to next to nothing!" Mousse added.

"Now, now, Mousse-sempai... if Hibiki-sempai no sell Saotome-sempai stuff in first place, you no have to use club money to buy back, yes?" Shampoo gently chided, "So is all Hibiki-sempai fault."

"Hey, it was Mousse's idea in the first place to sell off Ranma's stuff!" Ryoga shot back.

"Is still you own stupid fault. Mousse-sempai no do something stupid thing like that."

Ranma rolled his eyes, "What do you guys expect me to do about it? I'm barely making ends meet as is..."

"Well we could always rent you out to the Portraiture club, like last time..." Ryoga replied.

Mousse nodded, "Yes, I hear the nude of you that Kodachi did is still hanging in their clubhouse under strict guard."

"No way! I am NOT posing for them again!" Ranma replied blushing furiously, "Akane would kill me!"

"Or we could raffle you off..." Mousse mused, "It's for the good of the club, I'm sure Akane will understand..."

"That's not it! Don't you-" the rest of Ranma's tirade was interrupted as he was suddenly tackled by Ranko and caught in a fierce hug.

This of course got quite a number of curious onlookers talking... juicy rumors about Ranma were always a welcome treat to the students of NIT. Within a few seconds the entire school was buzzing.

"Gah!" Ranma cried out. He berated himself mentally for not being more alert! Now everyone would know about his problem... he was preparing to leap away before the others noticed the  
transformation when he realized that he was still male. He blinked in surprise, "What's going on..?"

Ranko snuggled in his lap, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, "What does it look like, Darling... I'm enjoying your company... I've sooo missed having your arms around me, my  
love..."

Mousse smiled as he peered at the blurry form on Ranma's lap, "Oh, hello Akane."

Shampoo blurted, "Ai-yah," softly.

Ryoga frowned, "Saotome what is the meaning of this? Have you been going out with Ranko behind Akane's back?!"

"Get offa me!!" cried Ranma as he tried desperately to push Ranko away. Her grip however was quite firm, she continued pulled him close and rubbed herself against him.

"Oohh, Darling you're so manly," Ranko cried.

Ryoga cracked his knuckles dangerously, "As a friend to both you and Akane I am giving you exactly one minute to explain your actions... otherwise, I'm going to not only beat you up personally, but I'll tell Akane so she can beat you up too..."

"It's not what it looks like..!" Ranma blurted out.

Ranko interrupted him , "Oh, come now, my love surely you aren't ashamed of our relationship..."

"What relationship?! We don't have one! Now look--"

From across the quad a fierce cry erupted, "Saotome you accursed fiend! Let no other women suffer degradation at your hands! Get your filth ridden hands away from the immaculate Pig-  
Tailed Goddess now or suffer the direst of consequences!!!"

Ranma looked up just in time to see a veritable horde of men in athletic gear charging at him. A few were easily recognizable as being members of the Akane Tendo fanclub. The intellectual minority of the members had decided to ask Akane out instead of going after Satotome, which was precipitating another riot in the cafeteria, but at that time, Ranma didn't know about that.

Others were members of the Combat Athletics club that Ranma had managed to defeat in competition before... the majority, however, were irate boyfriends of women who were still in love with Ranma. Rumors of his breakup with Akane, which reached them yesterday, made them resolve to take care of the problem once and for all by getting rid of Ranma. At their head was Kuno, now attired in his Kendo practice outfit and wielding a bokken, "I swear this on my name as the Blue Thunder of Nekomi Tech that you shall never have her! Forward my men! Forward!"

Even Ryoga looked in shock as the human tidal wave surged forward, most of them swinging various improvised weapons.

Shampoo had the presence of mind to pull her Mousse-sempai out of the way and into a nearby tree. Ryoga was less fortunate however and got trampled by the Ranma Saotome Destruction squad.

Ranma didn't even bother to wait for the explanation which would probably not come anyway. He ran for it, carrying Ranko without thinking.

"What the hell is going on here?!?!?!?" he cried as he dashed across the campus, Ranko still in his arms. More people turned to watch the spectacle. Fortunately for Ranma, the sheer size of the mob slowed them down considerably.

"Whee!" Ranko cried, clinging even tighter to his neck and squirming fetchingly, "This is fun, Ranma! Go faster!"

"I'd be going faster if you weren't clinging on to me like a leech!" Ranma responded furiously as he ducked into a building.

Ranko laughed out loud, "They'll never catch up with you! Whee!"

He grumbled under his breath and took a glance at his pursuers... they were just starting to close in, but the close quarters of the hallway that they'd entered was slowing them down even more...

"What's going on here?! Why are they after me?! And why haven't I transformed?!" Ranma asked, still running for his life.

"Well..." said Ranko airily, enjoying the feel of the wind rushing through her hair and Ranma holding her, "In the order that you asked them, There's a mob chasing you... they don't like you... and as long as the contracts are under review, there won't be any interference from the system force."

"What does that mean?!" Ranma asked desperately, turning another corner.

"What it means is that none of the usual safeguards are in place to prevent you and Akane from being separated... and you don't have to transform every time I touch you!" Ranko replied,

"Which means I can do this!" She suddenly tightened her embrace and pulled his face down  
to hers, drawing him into a deep kiss even as he was running. Ranma in his surprise stumbled, pitching forward. At the last minute he was able to roll the two of them, allowing him to take  
the brunt of the fall. The shock of the fall pushed Ranko soft body even closer against him... Ranma's mind had long since gone into shock.

Ranko finally stopped the kiss, not really because she wanted to, but largely because she needed some air. She was still straddling him in the middle of the hallway floor as she finally sighed happily, "That was wonderful... you have no idea how long I've been meaning to do that."

"R-r-r-ranko!" he stammered. His mind at this point had already forgotten entirely about the mob of boys, which had fortunately managed to miss them. Unfortunately, the mob of women who'd been looking for Ranma since classes started turned the corner.

"There he is!" cried one of the women.

"Is it really true?! Have you really broken up with Akane?

"Oh my God... is that Ranko on top of him?!"

"In the hallway no less!"

"Get off my foot!"

"Get off of him Ranko, he's mine!"

"No he's not! He's mine!

"Back off you hussy!"

"Now you're stepping on my other foot, stop that!"

"He's mine I tell you!"

Ranma merely watched in bewilderment... Ranko smiled at him then grinned at the women, "Now, now, ladies... Ranma Saotome is man enough for all of us, wouldn't you agree? I propose we share..."

This, of course, precipitated a stampede, as each woman rushed forward to grab her own piece of Ranma. Of course, all the noise attracted the male half of the mob, still howling for blood. Of course the inevitable riot broke out.

O-O-O-O

Ranma finally came to consciousness a few hours later. Or he supposed it must've been a few hours later. He looked around and realized finally that he was in the infirmary. It was a place  
he was very familiar with. He'd visited it so often during his freshman year that the school doctor, Dr. Tofu, had offered to reserve one of the beds just for him. He muttered darkly, "What  
did I do to deserve this?" and gave a start at the sound of his own voice.

With a resigned sigh, Ranma brought a hand up to feel his chest and realized that she'd been using the wrong pronoun to think of herself again. A glance up at the stray strands of red  
hair confirmed her suspicions that she was Ranko's twin, yet again. She frowned in thought... If Ranko's touch didn't transform me earlier... then what am I doing as a woman now?"

She flipped off the bed easily, taking a mental inventory of all her body parts, in particular the ones with any serious complaints... all of the usual parts were there... for a girl, she corrected himself. She also realized that she was now dressed in some sort of a hospital gown (No wonder its so drafty, she noted), the shredded remnants of her jeans and T-shirt piled on a nearby chair. Nothing seemed to be amiss aside from a bit of stiffness and dull aches over most of her body, but something still didn't seem quite right... even leaving aside his current gender.

It was quiet. That's what it was... that's what was bugging her. It was too quiet. Even given a couple of hours to die down, the riot shouldn't have calmed down that fast. She couldn't even  
hear the usual hustle and bustle of the students... nor the cars just outside... She glanced up at the wall clock and noted that it was still fairly early. By rights there should still have been a good many people milling about the quad, deciding what to do after classes, but a quick glance outside also confirmed the lack of people... she was beginning to feel the first faint stirrings of paranoia as she searched the room.

"Saotome, you are a mess," came a voice from the door, "How this contract got past us in the first place I will never know."

Ranma turned to find Nabiki smiling at her.

"What's going on here?" Ranma demanded.

"Interview time, Saotome. Sorry about that mess earlier, but this was the only way I could get you alone."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm the Goddess of Transactions. I can do quite a lot, but my power is always balanced out. To get quiet, I have to make noise. So if I wanted you alone, I had to give you lots of company first..."

"D'you mean that was your fault?!" Ranma asked heatedly.

Nabiki nodded, "Would you rather I'd dragged you into some dark corner somewhere to talk?" Nabiki gave a knowing grin, "What would Akane think?"

Ranma thought about it. Then thought about it some more... then finally decided to keep quiet.

"Okay, Saotome. Question time. I ask you answer. Give me two good reasons each why Heaven should let Akane and Ranko stay here."

"And if I can't?"

"It'll be a point against you. Trust me you don't want those."

"Um... Do they have to be good reasons?"

Nabiki nodded.

"Well... Akane is... she's... I..."

Nabiki closed her eyes for a moment... then smiled, "She loves you and you love her. Even if neither of you will admit it to each other. That's two good reasons. What about Ranko?"

Ranma blushed, "Hey! Stop reading my mind!"

"It's an interview Saotome. We're allowed to read the client's mind during an interview... now about Ranko?"

Ranma scratched the back of her head thoughtfully, "She's... nah... she... um... nope... that's not it..."

Nabiki's eyes widened slightly, "Well... interesting..."

"I thought I told you not to do that!"

"You've gotten fond of her, however grudgingly... and she's in love with you... again, two very good reasons..."

"She's not in love with me!" blurted Ranma, before remembering the kiss...

Nabiki shook her head lightly, "We aren't allowed to lie too much... too many lies cause bad things to happen to us... Ranko used up her lie quota a while back... mostly lying to herself..."

She became thoughtful, "No wonder she was so happy when she thought we were lifting the contract enforcement..."

"But for your peace of mind Saotome, she didn't kiss you."

"She didn't?"

"That entire scene that just unfolded was on a... hmmm... it would take to long and would be too complicated to explain in human terms. Suffice to say that everything that happened to you from last night onward was a scenario I constructed to test and see what would happen if certain events happened."

Ranma nodded, still largely confused. "So Ranko didn't kiss me?"

"No, but given that sort of chance, she would've..."

Ranma felt relieved and yet worried, "Well... it felt real..."

"Do you want the two of them to stay?" Nabiki asked suddenly.

"I want Akane to stay..." Ranma said after a moment's thought, "But Ranko always complains that she wants to go home, so I'd like her to have what she wants..."

"She doesn't really want to go all that badly... What she can't stand is seeing you with Akane. It's driving her nuts, I imagine." Nabiki sighed, "I wish it were that simple, but we can't send Ranko back without sending Akane back... but we can send Akane back and leave Ranko here... The contracts that got sent up were very tricky..."

"Um... maybe not..."

Nabiki finally turned to Ranma and said, "Look... would you mind turning back into a guy while I think? You're distracting me..."

"But I can't turn back unless Akane here..."

"That contract isn't enforced here. Here, it's just an act of will. You turned yourself into a girl earlier when the mob was trying to... ahem..."

"Really? I can control it?"

"I suppose... why don't you try it?"

Ranma closed his eyes and he felt the familiar sensations as his body began to stretch and broaden... "Hey... it worked. I'm a guy again..."

Nabiki smiled sadly as she looked up at him, "I've got a decision. It won't be recognized until I say it out loud, but I think it would be better if Ranko and Akane were here for this."

"You've got a decision already? But you've only asked me one question!" Ranma asked in alarm.

Nabiki smiled wryly at Ranma, "I'm not Heaven's top contract investigator for nothing, you know."

She closed her eyes for a moment and declared forcefully, "By your absence, I invoke your presence. I pay my absence from your sides earlier to call you to me now. I call to me the  
Goddess of Affection, Ranko Tendo and the Goddess of Conflicts, Akane Tendo. By my name, my office and my duty, come to me."

A brief flash of light blinded Ranma for a moment... when it had subsided, Ranko and Akane stood next to him, looking both dazed and confused.

"Where am I? What's going on?" Akane asked, still disoriented, "One minute Ukyou and I are fighting off a bunch of guys and now I'm here..?"

Ranko recovered first, "So this is where you've been hiding," she said playfully, "Obviously you weren't satisfied with the mob of women, yet so now you're going after Nabiki too..."

"That's not it and you know it!" Ranma shot back.

"Ranko, stop picking on Saotome," Nabiki said coolly, "Or I'll have the review board check on just how much you've exceeded your Falsehood Quota."

Ranko's mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

Akane squinted for a moment then said, "Hey... this isn't Earth... we're in a reality construct..."

Nabiki nodded, "Yes."

"Are you going to tell us why you're using one of these, Nabiki?" Ranko asked, "The runtime on this alone ought to be worth--"

Nabiki bit her lower lip, "I could... but..."

"There's a price... I know the drill." Ranko said without much heat, "I'm not that curious about it."

"Well, I am," Akane replied, regaining her self-confidence, "If they authorized you to activate this, Nabiki, this is obviously a lot more important than a simple contract review. Even if it is for us."

Nabiki smiled slightly, "Yes. And the price for that information would be more than you could hope to pay, Akane. For now anyway. "

"Nabiki..." Akane asked tentatively, sparing a quick glance at Ranma who still hadn't followed the discussion at all, "Do you have a decision yet?"

Nabiki nodded, "I do... and try to keep in mind that I want to be as fair as possible to all concerned..."

"So tell us already." Ranko snapped impatiently.

Nabiki closed her eyes and spoke in a clear ringing voice. "I, Nabiki Tendo, Goddess of Transactions do hearby announce my decision with regards to the investigation of the contracts entered into by the Goddesses Akane Tendo and Ranko Tendo with the morta- er- individual Ranma Saotome."

Ranko's eyes narrowed slightly at Nabiki's slight hesitation...

"I hearby find insufficient--"

Akane closed her eyes... please let me stay...

"--evidence either for or against the maintenance of the contracts and announce my intention to continue this investigation until such time is reached that a decision for or against may be rendered. By my name, by my office and by my duty I render this. So mote it be."

As she spoke, the mark on her forehead began to glow... much as Ranma remembered Ranko and Akane's marks glowing when they granted his wish. As she ended her declaration, a beam of pure white fire shot from her marking, searing a hole in the ceiling as it streaked skyward...

Ranma waited until his eyes had adjusted to the light again before opening them. Akane was hugging Nabiki, tears in her eyes as she thanked her sister over and over. Ranko was stealing sullen glances at Ranma as she said, "That's no decision, Nabiki. Why are you putting this off?"

Nabiki pulled away from Akane and gave Ranko a wry little grin, "Well... I have been needing a vacation for a while."

Everyone else's jaw dropped.

Ranma snarled, "You put me... all of us through all of this just so you could get an excuse to get a vacation?!?!"

"I didn't say that, Saotome." Nabiki replied coolly.

"But..." Ranma sputtered.

Akane sighed and put an arm on Ranma's shoulder, "I know her, Ranma. You aren't going to get any answer out of Nabiki unless you can pay the price... or she thinks you ought to know. Don't push her. I think this might be a lot more important than we originally thought."

Ranko had her arms crossed as she glared at Ranma and Akane, "Well, fine. Let's go home then. I'm getting tired of this place."

Nabiki smiled and said, "All you had to do was ask."

She pulled a portable TV set out of her back pocket and pointed it at them.

The four of them winked back into existence, stepping out of the TV, which was in the Temple's common room. It was still night... Akane and Ranko could feel it in their internal clocks.

It was the night before... just ten minutes after Nabiki arrived. Ranma was still mildly disoriented from the trip... and Akane was holding him steady. Ranko stepped close to the two and said to Akane, "Well... at least one good thing came out of this."

"Which is?" Akane asked irritably.

"Since the contract is under review..." Ranko said smiling slowly, "There's no enforcement... If there's no enforcement, Ranma doesn't change when I touch him... So there's nothing to stop me from doing this anymore..."

As she suddenly grabbed the still confused Ranma by the front of his shirt and pulled him down into a kiss.

Nabiki smiled, "She works fast doesn't she?"

Akane was too shocked to do more than gape at Ranko... who incidentally was kissing Ranma quite thoroughly and was enjoying herself immensely in the process... Ranma's presence of mind took yet another flying leap out the window... Nabiki was right... he hadn't been kissing Ranko earlier... it wasn't anywhere near this good.

"RAN-KO!!! RAN-MA!!!" Akane growled, the sound of distant thunder rumbling loudly.

Ranko finally broke the kiss reluctantly as a stunned Ranma fainted. She turned to Akane with an catty glint in her eye, "I intend to give you as much competition as I can, Akane. Remember  
that..."

"I'm going to KILL you!!!" Akane screamed, pulling her mallet from her back as she started to give chase. Ranko was already off and flying through the walls, ducking and dodging. Nabiki calmly sat down on the sofa, and began checking the channels with the remote control. She murmured to herself with a small smile, "This is going to be one of the most interesting  
investigations I've ever taken up."

She chuckled quietly and gave the unconscious Ranma a pat on the head. "Too bad neither of them noticed that you'd transformed, huh? Might've been even more interesting..."

Nabiki finally found an interesting TV program after a while, not letting the sounds of Akane and Ranko's chase disturb her, too much.

_To be continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Part VII: Of Obvious Chances and Veiled Possibilities**

Morning. Not a favorite in the temple. Certainly not by  
Ranma. This morning, as with every other morning since they moved  
into the temple Akane shook him awake. Unfortunately she was in a  
particularly foul mood today, having not so much shaken him awake  
as kicked him in the head a couple of time until he snapped  
awake. A glance out the rainspattered window confirmed it. She  
was royally pissed. He blinked a couple of times as she bustled  
off to the kitchen without so much as a word.  
"What the heck am I doing in the living room?" He muttered  
as he picked himself up, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his  
head as he did so. Last night was pretty hazy... the last clear  
thing he could remember was having a great dinner with Akane...  
then the two of them decided to sit on the couch to watch some  
TV... it was some sort of romantic movie... Sleepless in  
something or the other... she snuggled up to his side... he  
vaguely recalled putting his arm around her... then he must've  
drifted off because he couldn't remember anything clearly past  
that point. He could vaguely recall a weird dream where Akane's  
sister stepped out of the TV... then Ranko said she was in love  
with him... then... then... something about Akane's sister  
sticking around indefinitely...  
"I wonder why she's mad at me this time?" Ranma muttered to  
himself, looking around, "I didn't grab her in my sleep again,  
did I?"  
He wasn't too sure about that... that dream was pretty  
vivid about the details when it came to Ranko kissing him. He  
blushed violently... whoo boy... I must really be turning into a  
pervert or something, he thought to himself... I don't even think  
of Akane like that...  
He made his groggy way into the bathroom... it was  
difficult to be wary this early in the day, but he knew he had to  
keep on his toes. Ranko sometimes tried to get him before  
breakfast. The thought of Ranko trying to grab him set off that  
particular train of thought again... I didn't realize my  
imagination was that vivid, he thought to himself... What a  
kiss...  
Ranma, his mind still caught up in his guilty musings, slid  
open the door to the bath area, blithely ignoring the 'Knock  
First' sign which he himself put there. What he saw there could  
not possibly be adequately described in a few words by a one  
handed typist.  
Nabiki, Goddess of Transactions was rising from the bath,  
water still glistening on her body just as the door slid open...  
a drowsy Ranma walked precisely two steps into the bathing area  
and was already beginning to unbutton his shirt when the sight of  
the naked woman finally filtered through his sleep and guilt  
fogged brain.  
"Agh!! Who are you?!" Ranma screamed, stumbling back,  
trying simultaneously to cover his eyes, turn away and take a  
step back.  
Nabiki smiled calmly, stepping out of the bath and extended  
a hand towards Ranma, "Would you mind passing me the towel,  
Ranma? I don't think Akane would appreciate it too much if you  
continued to stand there staring at me."  
"I am not staring!" Ranma protested, clamping a hand firmly  
over his eyes as he groped along the wall closest to him for the  
towel rack... where was that thing anyway..? There!  
Nabiki took another step closer to the door, accepting the  
proffered towel from Ranma's shaking hand. She wrapped it around  
herself and said calmly to Ranma, "There. I'm decent now. You can  
look."  
"I don't want to!" Ranma said firmly.  
"You may as well, you know. I'm going to have to charge you  
for a few seconds worth of looking the same as for a whole hour."  
"You... what..?" His hand dropping away from his face out  
of sheer surprise.  
"Did you forget who I am already Saotome?"  
"You're Nabiki Tendo! But you were just someone out of a  
weird dream I had!"  
Nabiki's face took on a look of flattered satisfaction,  
"You were already dreaming about me? After just meeting me  
once... my, my, my Saotome... I didn't realize I'd made such an  
impression on you."  
"That's not what I meant!"  
"Nevermind," Nabiki gave him a tiny calculated smile and  
said, "You had precisely twenty four seconds worth of looking at  
me while I was in the nude. And another twenty seven seconds  
while I was wearing this rather thin towel." she paused to lift  
up a corner of the material. "I intend to collect the same from  
you Saotome. See more of you later."  
Ranma was left gaping at Nabiki as she brushed past him...  
he ordered his brain not to register the fact that the towel was  
indeed rather thin... and that she had that nice freshly scrubbed  
scent which was...  
"That... that was Nabiki..." Ranma babbled to himself,  
collapsing to his knees, "It wasn't a dream... Ranko did kiss  
me... Oh, boy... Oh boy did she kiss me..."  
A hand touched him on the shoulder and a familiar voice  
asked, "Ranma? Are you alright?"  
Ranma looked up to find Akane looking down at him, her face  
a mask of concern. Quite a far cry from her earlier expression of  
disgust when she was trying to kick his head in. He sprang to his  
feet, continuing to babble, "Akane! It wasn't really my fault!  
She kissed me! I didn't have anything to--!"  
Akane cupped his cheek in her hand and smiled at him, "I  
know... no need to worry about it, Ranma. There's no need to  
explain. I understand..."  
"And furthermore... I... I... you... you understand?"  
Ranma's ranting sputtered to a halt as he stared down at Akane in  
wonder.  
"Of course. It's not your fault you're so irresistible."  
She favored him with another warm smile.  
"Um... uh... I don't know what to say."  
"Don't say anything then," Akane replied quietly before she  
suddenly grasped his collar and pulled him down to kiss her.  
Ranma's brain... which had already undergone more shocks  
this morning than any decent man's mind ought to be subjected  
to... blanked out. Leaving his body (which incidentally is the  
one really in charge of this sort of thing) to enjoy the kiss.  
After an indeterminate amount of time, Ranma finally  
mustered sufficient willpower to break free of the kiss, "What  
was that for?" he asked breathlessly.  
Akane smiled, "I felt like it."  
Ranma sighed but wondered to himself why that kiss felt...  
familiar... very familiar... very pleasantly, if very guiltily  
familiar...  
'Akane' laughed as she gave her head a quick shake,  
dispelling whatever illusion she'd woven around herself. Ranma  
found himself staring at an openly grinning face that was not  
Akane's.  
Ranma's jaw dropped, "Ranko?!"  
Ranko sighed happily, "That was fun... thanks for the wake  
up."  
Ranma opened his mouth to protest. To rant. To rave. To do  
something. Ranko however preempted him by dashing off for  
elsewhere in the house.  
Not once... not twice... but thrice! Ranma whirled around,  
ripping his shirt off as he threw it into the hamper in a fit of  
pique. I think I liked it better when she was just trying to  
annoy me, he thought heatedly to himself. It was all too much.  
Just when he thought he was starting to understand the situation,  
it changed on him. He HATED it! And to think he was already  
beginning to start to like Ranko a little and enjoy their little  
impromptu sparring sessions... she had to start to pull this...  
whatever IT was..! Several months worth of frustration (Most men  
would be frustrated too if they were him. Think about it... he's  
been living with two beautiful goddesses for several months and  
he's been sleeping alone the whole time... nevermind) plus a bad  
night's sleep combined to make him finally lose his temper.  
Akane, who as chance would have it, was just outside the  
open door at that precise moment. She had been trying to decide  
whether or not to apologize to Ranma for her earlier treatment of  
his head and had not seen Ranko giving Ranma the last breath-  
stopping kiss (which would most assuredly have crystalized her  
decision in the other direction)... She had finally decided to  
apologize to him just as he screamed at the top of his voice,  
"Why can't you just leave me alone!"  
Akane's face hardened, "If you're going to be that way  
about it, Ranma. Fine. I will."  
Ranma whirled suddenly, only now realizing that Akane was  
there, "No! Wait! I didn't mean you! I meant Ran--"  
Akane slammed the door shut in his face. She gave a  
disgusted snort and stormed down the corridor. Storm here is  
taken literally, as the rain outside began to pick up in  
intensity with thunderclaps rattling the Temple's windows.  
"--ko... Damn..." he finished lamely... barely managing to  
take a step back to avoid getting the tip of his nose torn off.  
Ranma collapsed, sulking with his back to the wall, every  
so often banging his head against the wall and muttering to  
himself, "You idiot..." not entirely certain if he meant Akane,  
Ranko or himself.  
"Why doesn't somebody just kill me now and end it all?" he  
sighed.  
He was so busy wallowing in self-pity, his bath forgotten,  
that it wasn't until he chanced to look in the mirror that he  
noticed that he'd turned female again.  
He stared at himself or rather, herself. Ranma heaved a  
long suffering sigh, "Great... now I've got to ask Akane to  
change me back... not when she's in that mood... I guess I'm  
going to be stuck like this for a while."  
Funny, she thought to himself... I don't remember changing  
when Ranko put her hand on my cheek... maybe it's because she  
looked like Akane at the time? Maybe not... and I don't think  
she'd've kissed me while I was a girl... then again this is  
Ranko...  
Ranma gave another sigh and wondered just how she was going  
to take a bath without looking at herself. This was going to be  
embarrassing. Even the tank top she was wearing was pretty  
revealing... she gave her head a slight tilt as she examined  
herself more closely in the mirror. She never really paid  
attention before to just how good Ranko's figure really was...  
she was just about to lift a hand up to her hair to strike a pose  
when she caught herself...  
Ranma sighed and tore his eyes away from the image on the  
mirror, "This is getting just way too weird..." She had to stop  
herself from putting a hand to her chest.  
This was the first time Ranma found herself stuck in female  
form for longer than a few minutes... and her curiosity was  
starting to get the better of her. Reasoning it out carefully and  
taking her time, Ranma came to the conclusion that the bath was  
an essential portion of his... no, her... no, his! daily routine,  
and the fact that she, or rather he, was now a woman didn't enter  
into it. Ranma placed her hands tentatively on the bottom of the  
tank top, taking a half nervous, half excited gulp of air before  
preparing to pull it off. She leaned slightly forward, catching a  
good view of her cleavage in the mirror.  
It wasn't precisely as if Ranma was entirely unfamiliar  
with the female form. She'd seen magazine pictures and so  
forth... not to mention the fact that naked women had a  
disconcerting habit of walking into or being in bathrooms Ranma  
was already using or intending to use. It had more to do with the  
fact that this was a perfect copy of Ranko's body... and the fact  
that she... no, HE! Was wearing it... it just felt... wrong.  
Ranma couldn't put it into words clearer than that thought.  
Ranma gave a resigned sigh, straightened up and moved for  
the door. May as well go find Akane and try to calm her down... I  
can't go through the day like this, she thought, Even if she  
won't calm down, I could just try and tackle her or something so  
I can change back... he added sourly. He squashed that thought  
about as quickly as he did his thoughts just minutes earlier  
about Nabiki's thin towel... tackling Akane wasn't likely to  
improve her mood. Maybe she'll let me touch my pinky to her  
ankle.  
Ranma's fingers touched the handle of the door as she  
caught sight of herself again in the bathroom mirror. He made a  
sound that was half chuckle and half sigh, "Yeah... Ranko is  
pretty good looking, I guess."  
She never had the chance to pull the door open, as the  
mirror began to glow suddenly. Ranma took a step away from it...  
he recognized this... this was the same glow which had come from  
his bath water that fateful day Akane had stepped into his life.  
He raised an involuntary cry just as a pair of of delicate hands  
pushed out of the mirror, curling to catch hold of the sides of  
the frame. These were followed by a woman's face, which looked  
around rather inquisitively.  
"Excuse me, please, ma'am... is this the residence of Mr.  
Ranma Saotome?" the face asked Ranma in a gentle voice.  
Ranma nodded mutely... now what?  
The woman's face brightened up, "Oh, thank you! I've been  
looking for so long."  
She pushed herself the rest of the way out, stepping  
gingerly on the tiles as she finally pulled entirely free of the  
mirror. Ranma gaped as she watched the woman's progress from  
mirror to floor... it was as if she fell in slow motion. Ranma  
could swear that the woman was floating. She's gotta be another  
goddess... thought Ranma... What is it about me? Am I some sort  
of magnet for this or what?  
She was a quietly beautiful lady in her mid-twenties. Her  
hair was kept in place by a head dress that looked vaguely like a  
turban, but was open at the top to allow her long brown hair to  
spill out. She wore a simple pale blue robe edged in gold, over a  
modest white dress, both cinched at the waist by a thin gold  
belt. She was at least a head taller than Ranma currently was,  
but she guessed they would be about the same height in her normal  
form.  
The woman dusted herself off and smiled at Ranma, taking a  
deep bow, "Hello. I'm Kasumi Tendo, Goddess of Tranquility, 1st  
rank, 2nd category. Is Mr. Saotome in? Or perhaps a Ms. Akane  
Tendo?"  
"Uh, yeah, Akane's in and... um... well... I'm... uh...  
Ran--" he started to reply.  
Kasumi's eyes suddenly widened as she looked intently at  
Ranma's face. Her hand flew to her mouth as if in horror and she  
took a step back, "Ranko? Is that you?"  
She rushed toward Ranma, her voice full of concern as she  
put a hand against Ranma's forehead, brushing her bangs out of  
the way, "What happened to your hair? And your limiters? And your  
Goddess markings?!?!"  
Kasumi pressed both hands to her mouth as she continued to  
stare in horrified fascination at Ranma, "Oh my... What happened  
to you?"  
"Um... look, lady... er... Kasumi, right? I'm not--"  
"Don't you even remember me, Ranko-chan?" Kasumi broke in,  
sympathetically. She'd calmed down somewhat but was still  
obviously very worried, "You don't remember Kasumi? I used to  
take care of you when you were little? Oh... don't worry Ranko-  
chan. Kasumi's right here, I'll take good care of you!" She  
hugged Ranma suddenly and with great feeling.  
"But... but..." Ranma started to reply. The rest of the  
reply was lost as the door flew open, nearly ripped of it's  
hinges, nearly barreling into Ranma and Kasumi.  
In the doorway stood a fierce looking Akane wearing one of  
Ranma's Chinese shirts, her hammer in a ready position; a curious  
Ranko wearing a similar Chinese shirt; and a rather bored looking  
Nabiki, wearing a robe.  
Not again... Ranma thought... how can the same thing keep  
happening to the same guy over and over and over again?!?!?!?!?  
"What happened?!" Akane demanded, "We felt somebody using  
magic here then a scream--"  
"Calm down, Akane... we don't necessarily have to bash  
whatever it is..." Ranko replied.  
Nabiki calmly looked into the bathroom. She gave a small  
cheery wave at Kasumi, who was hugging a now male Ranma, "Hello,  
Elder sister."  
Kasumi turned to face the other goddesses, blinking in  
confusion as she did so, "Akane? Nabiki? Ranko? But-- Oh my..."  
She turned to look at whoever it was she was hugging only  
to realize she was now looking directly into a rather handsome  
MALE face which was burning red with embarrassment and sweating  
bullets.  
Kasumi looked into Ranma's face with a little surprise, but  
hardly as much as could be expected from someone who found  
herself in the situation of hugging a half naked total stranger  
in a bathroom, "Oh my... is something the matter, sir? You seem  
to be flushed. You're also sweating quite a lot..." she put the  
back of her hand to Ranma's forehead, "Oh my... you're quite  
warm... you might be running a fever."  
Ranma choked on a reply, his face turning even redder, if  
that were possible. Akane tried to bite down on a growl... this  
was her sister Kasumi after all. It was very difficult for Akane  
to think of Kasumi as trying anything like THAT on a man... but  
this was coming perilously close to it.  
"It seems Akane's caught a slight cough too..." Kasumi  
continued, hearing her.  
Nabiki smirked, "I think you're embarrassing him, Kasumi.  
And making Akane jealous."  
"I am?" Kasumi seemed puzzled, "Am I making you jealous  
Akane?"  
"I am NOT jealous!" Akane snorted, "If that stupid, girl-  
chasing pervert wants to flirt with my entire family, why the  
hel-- heck should I care!?!"  
"Watch that lie quotient, Akane-chan." Nabiki muttered.  
Kasumi nodded slowly, as if only starting to understand  
then turned to Ranma, "Am I embarrassing you?"  
Ranma nodded quickly, after stealing a glance at the  
furious Akane.  
Kasumi quickly let go, also beginning to turn red, "I'm so  
sorry," she bowed, "Oh, I feel so embarrassed at having done  
that..."  
Ranko gestured airily, "No need to feel that way, Kasumi-  
chan. Ranma-kun's used to it. Happens all the time. Isn't that  
right?" She ended her statement with a wink.  
Akane's frown deepened if that were possible... the wind  
outside was really howling now...  
Kasumi's eyes widened slightly in understanding, "Oh, so  
this must be the famous Mr. Saotome." She turned to bow to him,  
"I am most pleased to meet you, sir."  
Ranma returned the bow awkwardly, "Um... likewise." Famous?  
Kasumi blushed some more then turned to Ranko as if  
remembering something, "Now, now, Ranko-chan... how many times  
have I told you not to talk like that?" She moved to her fellow  
goddesses, trading greetings and 'how are you doings' with each  
in turn. Ranma could see that they were all obviously very happy  
about her appearance and were all now ignoring him, which was a  
bit of a relief, except for Akane who would steal an angry glance  
at him every so often. He was starting to feel that this was  
going a little too far. Especially for this early in the morning.  
He hadn't done a thing. It all kept happening to him!  
He cleared his throat loudly catching everyone's attention.  
"This is all very touching and it's very nice meeting you,  
Miss Kasumi," Ranma said trying to keep his voice even, but his  
annoyance was obvious, "But I'm trying to take a bath here... and  
I don't want any company while I'm doing it!! Am I making myself  
clear?!"  
Ranko looked as if she were about to make a flirtatious  
comment, but Nabiki caught his mood and quickly elbowed Ranko to  
silence.  
Ranma pointed out the door, "Out. Now. Please." He turned  
to Akane as she cast a last glance at him, "I won't be having  
breakfast, Akane... don't bother setting a place for me."  
Akane replied in a voice that could not only freeze water  
to ice, but crack it into cubes as well, "Fine. Anything you  
say."  
Kasumi opened her mouth as though to speak but reconsidered  
and hurried after her fellow goddesses, her face a blushing red  
mask of worry.

Ranma spent the day avoiding thinking about anything even  
remotely connected to his home situation. The day had been quiet  
enough, by his standards... except for the inordinately large  
number of people (women especially) who kept going up to him and  
patting him on the shoulder and telling him they understood. Or  
asking if he wanted to talk. Or if he needed a shoulder to cry  
on. Or if he wanted to be comforted. Or something...  
The school lecher collared him in the hallway and shook his  
hand gratefully for some reason... saying over and over that he  
knew it wouldn't last and that his hero had yet to fall...  
"What the hell are you talking about Moroboshi?!" Ranma  
asked finally.  
The infamous lecher raised his eyebrows and elbowed Ranma  
playfully, "You sly dog... ahhh... the use them and lose them  
school of relationships, you're definitely the master! I heard  
about you and Akane... it's all over the school!"  
"What?" Ranma's eyes narrowed, "What about me and Akane?"  
He'd had more than enough of other people sticking their noses in  
his business.  
"About you two--" Moroboshi began to reply, but he was  
suddenly cut off by a sudden cry from the other end of the  
hallway.  
"Dah-ling!!!! Where are you?!?!" Called out a high pitched  
voice.  
Moroboshi's eyes widened in fear as he dashed down the  
other end of the hallway, "Whoops! Gotta run, Saotome. See ya!"  
Ranma watched the lecher scramble down the corridor, his  
green-haired girlfriend flying past in an obvious rage, "Dah-  
ling!!!"  
That does it... Ranma thought, I'm going to find out what  
the hell is going on here even if it kills somebody. He grabbed a  
random passerby by the collar.  
"What do you know about me and Akane?!" He demanded the  
skinny unfortunate.  
As luck would have it, he had managed to grab Hikaru  
Gosunkugi. His former dorm mate. An utter social outcast whom no  
one talked to. In the entire school, he was perhaps the only one  
who hadn't heard a thing. No one told him anything.  
"Um... nothing?" Gosunkugi replied nervously.  
Ranma gave a disgusted grunt and released Gosunkugi, who  
promptly collapsed in a heap at his feet. Coordination was not  
one of Gosukugi's strong suits. Ranma stalked off to find someone  
who did know. Unnoticed by him, a SD-Kasumi followed quietly.

Within a few minutes, Ranma had reached the walkway leading  
to the Martial Arts Varsity Dojo. He was glad that it was a  
covered walkway, as the rainstorm was still raging. Akane was  
definitely very very pissed. He found himself suddenly tackled  
from the side by a missile with severely braided purple hair.  
"Ack!" Ranma cried out as he found himself being hugged by  
Shampoo.  
Shampoo looked at him worriedly over the tops of her  
glasses,  
"Saotome-sempai! Shampoo hear it all over school! Shampoo so  
sorry for you Saotome-sempai, you need shoulder?" She raised one  
shoulder slightly higher than the other as if to offer it.  
"What is everyone supposed to have heard?" Ranma asked in a  
tone a good deal gentler than he expected to use, finding it  
difficult to be too annoyed with Shampoo. He liked her a good  
deal. Largely because she didn't try to catch him like  
practically every other woman did.  
"That you and Akane make big break up. You tell Shampoo it  
no true?" she asked, brightening slightly.  
Ranma replied thoughtfully, "Well... we've been having a  
few arguments and a couple of problems lately, but..."  
Shampoo hugged him tighter, "Is going to be okay, Saotome-  
sempai! Pain pass... everything okay soon-soon. Really."  
The rest of Ranma's reply was lost as Shampoo proceeded to  
crush his ribs. He wondered how to tell Shampoo that the fastest  
way to make the pain pass soon-soon was if she let go of him...  
There was a loud tsk-tsk from the door of the dojo as  
Mousse stood there with his arms crossed, his white overcoat  
flapping in the wind.  
Shampoo noticed him and quickly let go of Ranma, her face  
burning red with embarrassment.  
"Shampoo-chan, what did I tell you about displays of  
affection?" Mousse chided her gently.  
Shampoo, blushed harder, looking down at the ground, "That  
we no longer in home village," she replied meekly, "And have to  
show best side of Juketsuzoku culture and no show as much  
affection when in foreign country as when at home because they  
have different ways."  
"Besides..." Mousse added quietly, "What if someone had  
seen the two of you and gotten to thinking that you were the  
reason for Ranma and Akane's breakup?"  
"But Mousse-sempai, Saotome-sempai need hug. Is okay for  
even most powerful warrior show he need comfort."  
Ranma had never really heard them discuss their culture  
before, but he was hardly in a mood to pay too much attention to  
it.  
"That may be, Shampoo... but give him comfort in private.  
I'm not having your name get dragged into the mud like Saotome's  
name so often does."  
"Gee, thanks for the support, Mousse." Ranma replied  
sarcastically.  
"Anytime, Saotome," Mousse replied oblivious to the  
sarcasm, "Let's all of us go in, shall we? It's pretty cold out  
here."  
"So how's my name getting dragged into the mud this time,  
Mousse?" Ranma asked as they stepped into the dojo.  
"Well... everyone has heard about you and Akane breaking  
up, I should think it was rather obvious. Rumor has it you've  
been seeing another woman on the side... although there's some  
rumors going around that it was your insatiable sexual appetite  
which drove her away. Quite possibly even inviting another woman  
to bed with you and Akane..."  
Shampoo, who had recovered somewhat, blushed again,  
"Mousse-sempai! No talk like that! No nice."  
Ranma's mouth quirked as he nodded irritably, "Does anyone  
bother to confirm these rumors before they spread them around?"  
"Of course not, Saotome. That's why they're rumors." Mousse  
replied. He looked around. The dojo was empty except for them.  
Most of the students had decided to stay home because of the  
storm, "I think we're in private now Shampoo. Please continue."  
Shampoo nodded and locked Ranma up in a powerful but oddly  
comforting hug again.  
Ranma acked, "You people are weird."  
Mousse smiled, "We seem that way to you Saotome, but kindly  
remember that we're from a much older culture than yours. We've  
got 3000 years of tradition and law backing us up."  
"Aren't you even going to ask me if the rumors are true or  
not?" Ranma burst out. Shampoo was rubbing her cheek against his  
chest and murmuring something in Mandarin. Mousse didn't appear  
to even notice what she was doing.  
He replied, "Well... Ryouga and I are running a betting  
pool for the school as to which of the various rumors are true...  
after all we need the funds after having to buy all of your stuff  
back." Mousse seemed almost petulant. "But please, try not to  
tell anyone but us which of the rumors are true until we've  
collected a little more. We do need to refigure the odds a  
bit..." Somehow, Mousse was suddenly holding a clipboard which he  
looked over, "We've got fifty to one currently on 'Got caught en  
flagrante delecti inside the bathroom'. I certainly hope that  
isn't it."  
"Why you dirty rotten--!" Ranma reached for Mousse, who  
quite wisely took a step back, the clipboard vanishing again into  
the depths of his coat. Ranma's hands clawed uselessly at thin  
air as he realized that Shampoo was practically immovable and he  
couldn't get out of her grip... geez, the girl was strong.  
Shampoo turned to Mousse with a slightly disapproving  
expression, "Hibiki-sempai no nice to try to make money off of  
Saotome-sempai bad time."  
Ranma was pretty sure it was probably Mousse's idea... it  
usually was, but Shampoo would never believe anything bad of her  
Mousse-sempai.  
Mousse flipped his glasses up on his head and looked  
thoughtful... "Speaking of Ryouga... have you seen him around? I  
haven't seen him since yesterday when he was going to the  
bathroom across the hall..."  
Almost as if in answer to his question, a soaking wet  
Ryouga opened the door to the dojo and walked in. There was  
something very wrong with his face that the other three couldn't  
quite place. Even leaving aside the fact that most of his hair  
was plastered down on his face... something was definitely wrong.  
"Hello, everyone," Ryouga said cheerfully. He sighed  
happily and said, "What a beautiful afternoon."  
Shampoo and Ranma glanced out the window to find the  
downpour unabated. Mousse found himself staring at one of the  
training dummies, where he imagined the window was.  
Shampoo loosed her deathgrip on Ranma's ribs in shock,  
"What wrong with Hibiki-sempai? He have funny look on face..."  
"Why? He looks alright to me." Mousse replied, looking in  
the wrong direction. Now freed, Ranma reached over and gave him a  
thwack on the head, knocking his glasses back down over his eyes.  
Mousse studied Ryouga's face for a moment before it finally  
occurred to him what was wrong, "Ryouga... you're... you're  
smiling... you're smiling happily... it doesn't look natural..."  
Ryouga nodded, "Yes... the world is a wonderful place to be  
in. It's been so long since I've felt that way."  
Shampoo bounced over to Ryouga and put a hand to his  
forehead, "He no have fever... but he still talk like crazy  
man..."  
Mousse grabbed Ryouga by the front of the shirt and shook  
him roughly, "Alright you... what have you done with the real  
Ryouga?!"  
"I am the real Ryouga... the really happy Ryouga... isn't  
it wonderful?" Ryouga said, smiling lazily up at Mousse.  
"No you can't be! The real Ryouga would have hit me  
repeatedly on the head for grabbing him!"  
"Oh, go ahead Mousse..." Ryouga continued happily, "It's  
alright. I've got other shirts, wrinkle this one all you like."  
"Ai-yah..." Shampoo whispered, "Mousse-sempai, make him  
stop... he scaring me.  
Ranma watched the tomfoolery for a few moments more with a  
small smile. Well, I can always count on these guys to do  
something to make me forget some of my problems... usually by  
giving me bigger ones. He bowed to Shampoo and thanked her for  
trying to cheer him up. She smiled happily. The other two seemed  
too busy to notice.  
He snuck out of the dojo, pausing long enough to grab his  
bag which he'd left the day before, as Mousse continued to try to  
browbeat Ryouga back into his familiar misery. At least Ryouga  
seemed pretty happy. That makes one of us, he thought bitterly.  
He'd known Ryouga for a long time now and this was probably the  
first time EVER that he'd seen the man happy. It seemed almost  
impossible and he'd bet anything that the goddesses had something  
to do with it. They had a way of making very strange things  
happening... especially when it came to him and people in his  
vicinity.  
He sighed. His classes were over and he didn't really have  
any excuse to stay on campus... Home wasn't a particularly  
desirable option, but it was better than getting rained on. But  
not by much.  
Kasumi, still miniaturized, continued to follow him. There  
was a proper time and place to talk to someone about things. She  
was quite willing and content to follow him until the right  
moment came up.

There is a thing to remember about heavy rains. On  
occasion, drainage systems designed to handle a certain load find  
themselves totally unable to cope with a sudden influx of  
extended precipitation. In other words, a sudden heavy rain can  
totally screw up the local drainage. This results in localized  
flooding. Which in turn results in traffic jams. Now keep in mind  
that Akane had been angry since the night before. This is not a  
particularly good state of mind to be in for someone who can  
control weather.  
Ranma sighed in resignation. A number of streets had been  
rendered impassible due to the flooding and he had somehow  
managed to get his van entangled in a traffic jam trying to get  
through the few roads which were still of any use.  
His wipers had conked out and he couldn't see anything  
beyond fuzzy blurs through his windshield. "This is just  
great..."  
"It is?" asked a small voice innocently from the passenger  
side of his dashboard, "Oh my, I didn't realize being trapped in  
traffic while half blind was a good thing. I must remember that.  
"Not really... but I guess it beats going back to that  
madhouse--" Ranma stopped suddenly and closed his eyes... he had  
either snapped and was now starting to hear voices, or...  
He turned to look at the source of the voice and found  
Kasumi, all of six inches tall. Her tiny hands were pressed  
against the windshield as she strained to look out the glass,  
"Really? There's a madhouse near here?"  
"Uh... What are you doing here?" Ranma asked unable to  
think of anything better to say.  
Kasumi turned away from the glass to face Ranma. She folded  
her hands over her skirt, "I wanted to apologize for earlier this  
morning. I didn't realize I was causing you so much  
inconvenience, Mr. Saotome." She bowed low.  
Ranma returned the bow, awkwardly. After all, he was  
sitting behind the wheel and had his seatbelt on. "No... it's  
okay, really. I sort of lost my temper a bit... I ought to  
apologize. I was being a real jerk back there."  
Kasumi straightened up and smiled sweetly at him, "Oh my,  
no need at all to apologize at all, Mr. Saotome. Your reaction  
was perfectly understandable.  
"I'm glad you think so." Ranma replied a little ruefully,  
"Uh... and would you mind calling me Ranma?"  
"Alright. Please call me Kasumi." She replied still  
smiling, "Would you mind if I sat down?"  
Ranma gestured, "Huh? Oh, sure, go ahead..." At her current  
size, she could sit comfortably on the ashtray, he thought.  
Kasumi jumped off the dashboard and landed softly on the  
passenger seat. Ranma recoiled slightly at the small puff of  
smoke as she suddenly grew back to her full size, "Thank you, Mr.  
Sa-- Ranma."  
"No problem. You'd better buckle up your seatbelt,  
Kasumi..." Ranma said as the traffic began to move.  
Kasumi looked at him curiously, "My what?"  
"Seatbelt... just reach up behind you, back there..." Ranma  
replied, trying to keep his eyes on the road, even through his  
rain spattered windshield and point to the seatbelt at the same  
time. "You just sort of reach up and grab the metal thing and put  
it in that slot there..."  
"Oh, I see." Kasumi replied as she followed his  
instruction. She continued delightedly, "How clever! I've never  
seen anything like this before."  
"Really?" Ranma asked, risking a glance at Kasumi.  
Kasumi nodded and smiled, "Really. This is the first time  
I've ever been to Earth. It's quite exciting."  
"I guess it must be..." Ranma replied while avoiding  
another pothole, mostly by watching the cars in front of them and  
avoiding the ones they hit, "Say... if you don't mind my asking,  
Kasumi, why did you drop by for a visit?"  
"Oh I don't mind at all." Kasumi replied, animated, "After  
Akane and Ranko both answered your wish request, it became pretty  
lonely without my little sister and my cousin... Nabiki is always  
so wrapped up in her work it's a little difficult to talk to her  
sometimes..."  
"You don't say..."  
Kasumi nodded as she continued, "In any case, just  
yesterday, my local area supervisor told me that my section had  
to be shut down for a Contract Review...  
"Section..?" Ranma asked, not realizing how narrowly he had  
missed a lamppost.  
"My section of the Ygdrasyl system is the one monitoring  
the system force on your contract."  
"Ah."  
"So, since they put me on paid leave anyway, with no work  
to do... and I had a little vacation leave squared away... I  
decided to drop in for a visit... I mean, I haven't seen Akane or  
Ranko in so long..."  
"Yeah... Akane," Ranma nodded absently, still trying to see  
through the rain, was that a tank or a towtruck?  
"Are you having a difficult time, Ranma?" Kasumi asked a  
mild trace of concern in her voice.  
"Er... Sorta... it's pretty tricky... It's hard to see  
where we're headed..." he squinted out the window this time, that  
blur was most definitely a tank... and it was just a little too  
close for comfort.  
"Oh my, well... Akane does seem a little miffed..." Kasumi  
said thoughtfully. "I might be able to help, if you like."  
Ranma was momentarily confused... did Kasumi mean the rain  
or with Akane? "I guess--" he started to reply. Well... he did  
need all the help he could get, either way.  
Kasumi closed her eyes and seemed to say something softly.  
"Um... what are you doing, now?" Ranma could see she was  
perfectly calm, but he noticed that the mark on her forehead was  
glowing very softly. There was a brief burst of light which  
momentarily dazzled him... when his eyes were clear, he realized  
that his engine was now dead... and wherever he was, it wasn't  
raining, he could barely hear the muted sound of rainfall and  
thunder. He rolled down his window and looked out. He was in some  
sort of underground parking garage...  
Kasumi opened her eyes and smiled at him again.  
"What did you just do?" Ranma asked, baffled.  
"I told you I would help you and being stuck in traffic was  
hardly what needed to be done." She opened her door and tried to  
exit the van but found herself unable to leave her seat, she  
calmly gave a concerned sigh, "Oh my... I'm stuck. You didn't put  
a spirit ward on your van did you?"  
"Er... wait, here... let me help you..." Ranma realized  
that she'd managed to get herself fouled up in her seat belt. She  
definitely was not kidding when she told him she was new to  
Earth. He stepped out of the van and went over to her side of the  
vehicle. "Here... you just push that button to release the buckl-

Kasumi pushed the button as she'd been told to do and was  
so surprised at the sudden release from the tight bonds of the  
seatbelt that she tumbled into Ranma's arms.  
"Oh my!" she cried in surprise.  
"Easy, there, Kasumi... are you okay?" He was surprised to  
find that Kasumi was very light in his arms... somewhat how he  
imagined Akane would be like. He took a moment to look around and  
make sure no one saw. He already had far too many rumors  
springing up about him, he hardly needed any more.  
"I'm fine, thank you, Ranma. Perhaps just a little weak...  
I might have used too much power..." She looked up into Ranma's  
face as he supported her, "You seem to be blushing again... Am I  
embarrassing you?"  
"Uh... no you aren't." He replied blushing just a bit more,  
"Can you walk?"  
"Yes... I believe I can." She replied taking a few  
tentative steps with his support, "Thank you again, Ranma."  
"No problem... um, so why are we here?" he took another  
look around, "And where is here?"  
"Well, you said you needed some help." Kasumi paused for a  
moment as if lost in thought. "We're just around the corner from  
the restaurant where Akane has her... job? Yes, I think that's  
what she said... at a place called..."  
"Ucchan's?" Ranma asked, still keeping an arm around  
Kasumi's waist to help hold her up. He wasn't even really  
thinking about any possible implications to it... there was  
something about Kasumi that was so... innocent.  
"Yes," Kasumi replied, delightedly, "That's it exactly. Up  
there..."  
He helped her up a flight of stairs (after making sure that  
the van was securely locked) and they found themselves on a  
fairly familiar portion of covered sidewalk. Ranma could already  
recognize the neighborhood. Kasumi had taken them to the one  
access to Ucchan's which didn't involve getting doused by the  
rain. Something bothered Ranma as he helped Kasumi walk and at  
the same time, kept her from being jostled by the other  
pedestrians... something about the building around the corner  
from Ucchan's... he realized after a moment that there was a  
rather large number of couples passing the two of them by. He  
discarded the thought as he and Kasumi rounded the corner. It's  
probably nothing, he added silently. Must be getting jumpy.  
Ranma entered Ucchan's still supporting Kasumi slightly.  
The dinner crowd had the place more or less packed. In one corner  
a loud and obviously drunken party was taking place. One of  
Ukyou's newer waiters, looked very harassed as he talked to an  
attractive woman who seemed to be the only quiet one at the party  
table. Ukyou in her usual polo and tie, also looked mildly  
harassed. She was at her usual place behind the grill frying up a  
fresh batch of okonomiyaki.  
Akane was moving through the crowd, efficiently delivering  
food to several tables. Every so often she'd trade a familiar  
greeting with a regular. Ranma couldn't help but notice a large  
number of the men in the room were staring at her while her back  
was turned. Most of them had goofy expressions on their faces.  
Ukyou looked up to greet the new arrivals, but immediately  
noticed Kasumi... and the placement of Ranma's hand at Kasumi's  
back. She raised an eyebrow and gave them a level stare as they  
approached. The noise made it difficult to hear, so Ukyou had to  
raise her voice, "Is this why Akane's been moping around all day,  
Ranchan?" She addressed Ranma, but had a spatula, (Sharpened,  
Ranma noted) pointed at Kasumi, "I swear if you've been two  
timing Akane, I'm going to shove this spatula somewhere really  
unpleasant."  
"Huh?" Ranma asked stupidly, only then realizing where his  
hand was. He quickly raised both hands defensively, "That's not  
it! This is Akane's sister, Kasumi!"  
"With her sister no less?!" Ukyou asked, her voice nearly a  
growl, "I've been hearing really bad rumors, Ranchan... you'd  
better explain things fast..."  
"Akane's two sisters dropped in at the temple and they  
might be staying a while," Ranma replied quickly, "Kasumi felt a  
little faint, so I had to help her! That's it, I swear!"  
"Oh." Ukyou turned to Kasumi, "Sorry about that. Didn't  
mean to accuse you of anything."  
"No trouble at all." Kasumi smiled sweetly, "It's nice to  
see that Akane has such a loyal friend."  
"Thanks." Ukyou smiled, "I'm Ukyou Kuonji, by the way.  
Welcome to Ucchan's."  
Kasumi bowed, "Kasumi Tendo, pleased to meet you, Miss  
Kuonji."  
Ukyou raised an eyebrow and smiled, returning the bow. Few  
people could tell that she was a woman when she was in her  
outfit. Her estimation of Akane's sister went up a notch. "Nice  
to meet you too, Kasumi. Better call me Ukyou, though, sugar."  
She poured a little batter onto the grill and smiled at Kasumi,  
"Would you like an okonomiyaki? First one for the sister of my  
best employee is free."  
"I wouldn't want to impose..."  
"Not a problem."  
Ranma fidgeted nervously trying to get Akane's attention,  
but she continued to ignore him. He was pretty sure that she had  
seen him. Several times.  
"Argh." Ranma muttered quietly, "Fine. Be that way." He sat  
down at the counter and sulked next to Kasumi.  
"You seem to be very busy, Ukyou..." Kasumi started to say.  
"Yeah. It's Friday night." The chef shrugged as she passed  
Kasumi a plate of okonomiyaki, she noticed Ranma's agitation and  
wondered what was going on, "Here you go, sugar. Fresh off the  
grill."  
"Thank you." Kasumi replied, pulling out a pair of  
chopsticks from the dispenser. Kasumi was about to lift the  
okonomiyaki, when Akane's voice cut through the noise of the  
crowd, accompanied by a peal of thunder.  
"No! I do not want to join you! I do not want to go out  
with you! And I most certainly do not want to kiss you!"  
Ranma sprang to his feet immediately and pushed his way  
rudely through the crowd of people. He reached Akane's side to  
find her preparing to slam her tray against the head of a  
somewhat tipsy, but well dressed man with slicked back hair whom  
Ranma did not recognize. Before Akane had a chance to swing,  
Ranma had managed to reach them, grab the man by his tie and lift  
him out of his seat.  
"Is this guy bothering you Akane-chan?" Ranma asked, giving  
the man the evil eye.  
Akane sniffed and lowered her tray, "Not at all, Mr.  
Saotome. He was being only mildly obnoxious. You don't need to do  
anything."  
Ranma frowned as the man smiled... or at least tried to,  
considering the difficulty involved in doing it while being  
dangled by your neck.  
The man squeaked, "You heard the lady, my good man. Who are  
you, anyway?"  
Ranma moved his face close to the other man's until they  
were practically nose to nose. It would've been utterly  
unnecessary at that point to shout, considering that the rest of  
Ucchan's had quieted down (even the party) "My name is Ranma  
Saotome. Heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial  
Arts. I'm Akane's fiance. Do you have a problem with that you  
slimy little jerk?!"  
The man's eyes widened in fear... realizing only now that  
multiple shots of liquid courage (sake to everyone else) only  
went so far, "Ranma Saotome... the guy who's won the Martial Arts  
Invitational for the past four years running..."  
Ranma nodded then continued in a softer tone, "Yeah. And if  
you ever hit on Akane again... If you so much as look at her,  
I'll tear off your head then shove it down your neck." He  
released his hold, depositing the man unceremoniously on to the  
floor. The slick fellow, not as stupid as he looked, quickly  
covered his eyes and crawled out of the restaurant.  
Ranma turned to find Akane staring furiously at him.  
"What did you do that for?! I could've handled him!"  
"But--!"  
"Precisely! Butting in when you aren't wanted!"  
"Me?! ME?! I'm the one butting in?! I'm not the one who  
suddenly popped into the occupied hot tub one day!"  
Akane blushed furiously.  
There was a mild collective gasp from the rest of the room  
on hearing this. No one really had a firm idea on how Ranma and  
Akane had met, but this was obviously going to turn juicy.  
Ranma's schoolmates brought out notebooks and recorders just to  
make sure they missed nothing.  
It was only at that point that Ranma and Akane realized  
that they were in the middle of a sea of curious onlookers.  
Ukyou called out to them, "Do you two want to take this  
somewhere private? People are trying to have dinner here."  
The general tone of the crowd ran to cries of, "NO way!"  
"Work it out right there, we don't wanna miss a thing!" "What was  
that about the bathtub again?" "Heh-heh-heh... she said 'butt'."  
"This is better than TV. I love this restaurant."  
Ukyou's voice cut through the babble, "Akane take a break."  
She jerked a thumb at the door to the storage area. Ranma's old  
room. The two started to weave through the crowd.

Ranma closed the door behind him, "Sorry... I didn't mean  
to shout that."  
Akane sniffed angrily at him, "There's no need for you to  
continue to pretend to be nice, Ranma. I know perfectly well that  
the only reason you always stayed with me before was because if  
you didn't have me, you could've been permanently stuck as a  
woman. That and you didn't have a choice. Well, you've got one  
now."  
"What are you babbling about?! Where the heck did that come  
from?"  
"Don't pretend you don't know!" Akane said jabbing a finger  
at his chest for emphasis. "With enforcement down, you can touch  
Ranko all you want and not have to worry about turning into a  
girl. You can have the one you obviously prefer..."  
"Waitaminute!! What do you mean enforcement's down?! What  
does that have to do with anything..?" Ranma's mind skittered to  
a halt as he finally remembered what Nabiki had told him the  
night before... "You think I'd run off with Ranko?"  
Akane crossed her arms, "Well, duh! She's better looking  
than I am... and she'd kiss you and probably do even more at the  
first opportunity..." Akane blushed, seemingly unable to  
continue.  
Ranma slapped his forehead, "How can you be a goddess and  
still be so stupid?"  
"What did you call me?!" Akane asked furiously  
embarrassment gone.  
"Get this through your thick skull Akane, I do not want  
Ranko!"  
"Well, you certainly looked like you liked it when you two  
were kissing..."  
"Didn't you pay attention to who started it and who pulled  
away first?!"  
Akane had to stop at that one...  
Ranma took a deep breath and put a hand on Akane's  
shoulder, "I don't want Ranko, Akane. I wouldn't want anyone  
else. I don't want anybody else."  
Akane looked up into Ranma's eyes...  
Ranma's thoughts ran quietly through his head, "All of this  
weird stuff keeps happening to me and all I do is just sit there  
and let it happen to me. Not this time, I'm going to do  
something... on my own... nobody pushing me around... This is  
entirely my decision."  
Akane's eyes widened even more, "What do you--?"  
Ranma leaned down, a hand cupping her cheek... his heart  
pounding as he brought his face closer to the stunned Akane. He  
was within a few inched of her when his nerve broke. He turned  
her head slightly and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek.  
He straightened up and backed away quickly, both of them  
blushing slightly, "Um... I think Ucchan's going to need you in  
the restaurant... shouldn't... um... you get back... or  
something?"  
"Uh... yeah... I... um... guess." Akane felt very odd.  
Almost light headed... they'd come closer to kissing than they  
ever had the whole time they'd been together... she was feeling a  
slight regret over it. But she certainly had no intention of  
becoming a... a... a wanton like Ranko. Never. Well... maybe not  
never.  
Outside... the rain finally stopped.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Ranma and Akane  
finally left for home. When they left the storeroom, Kasumi had  
already gone ahead home... although the way Ukyou described it,  
she'd disappeared in the bathroom. The other waiter had also had  
to leave... something about bringing his landlady home and away  
from the bunch of drunks she was with. Ranma volunteered to help  
out as a waiter for the night, just to keep Akane company.  
Although Ranma had an unfortunate tendency to growl quietly at  
any man who's eyes happened to linger too long on Akane, and  
Akane would stare daggers at any woman but Ukyou who tried to  
flirt with Ranma. All in all, it was an evening well spent for  
the both of them...  
Ranma and Akane rounded the corner, arm in arm, both  
smiling and singing together, if slightly off key.  
"Ranma, where are you parked, anyway?" Akane asked after a  
giggling fit when both of their voices broke on a high note at  
the same time.  
"Well, Kasumi teleported the van into the parking lot of  
that building right there..." Ranma pointed... only to realize  
that it was the 'Young Lovers' Hideaway, Love Motel'. He realized  
finally what had been bothering him earlier. All of those  
couples... no wonder.  
Akane's eyes also widened in shock, "In... in there?" she  
turned to Ranma and said in a heavy mock sarcastic tone, "From a  
kiss on the cheek straight into a love motel? Who do you think I  
am, Ranko?"  
"It's not like that at all!" he protested, which called a  
bit of attention to the two of them from the other nearby  
couples.  
Akane sighed, "Well... Kasumi is a bit unworldly. I don't  
think she noticed where she had taken you to. All I want to know  
is how we're going to get the van out of there without looking  
like we're planning to... um... you know..."  
Ranma snorted, "Fine... let em think what they like. If I  
get spotted near here anyway, all sorts of rumors are going to  
crop up. We may as well give them a rumor that's as close as  
possible to the truth."  
"What do you mean--?" Akane began to ask as Ranma suddenly  
grabbed her by the arm and brazenly walked into the parking  
garage to retrieve the van. Let us merely say that the act did  
not go unnoticed and rumors did not go unspread.

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

**That's 1/2 My Goddess Part VIII:  
Of Friendly Visits and Family Relations...  
**  
Ranma Saotome, heir to the Musabetsu Kakuto  
Saotome Ryuu, college student, athletic scholar,  
Physical Education undergrad and alleged playboy,  
drove a fist through seven concrete blocks, failing  
to split the eighth and chided himself for becoming  
lax in his training. There used to be a time when ten  
bricks wasn't a problem. He admitted to himself that  
while, Yes, he was still the best martial artist in  
the district, he'd also gotten a little soft over the  
past few months. Ever since the goddesses arrived  
he'd hardly had time to rest, much less practice  
properly. Not that THAT was any excuse. There was  
never any excuse for not training. That was one of  
the things his father had drummed into him. So  
misgivings about waking up early aside, here he was.  
He whirled around, pivoting on one foot, while  
simultaneously lashing out with both arms as he  
turned, neatly smashing a perfectly usable board into  
so much matchsticks. The Temple's courtyard was a  
great place to practice. Roomy, peaceful and plenty  
of places to put up targets. There was only two  
problems with it. First, it made him feel a little  
homesick practicing like this. He hadn't gotten any  
letters from home since he left the dorm, it made him  
miss them a bit. He usually practiced with his  
sisters back in the dojo at home. He wondered idly to  
himself how they were doing... he grinned a little  
and wondered what they'd think of his current living  
arrangements if they ever found out. They'd probably  
tease him about it.  
The other problem, was that he always felt as  
if he were being watched. He supposed that could just  
be paranoia, after all, this WAS a temple, and who  
knew what spirits still lived here. But the feeling  
that he was being watched always nagged him while he  
was practicing... Then again, that was hardly  
surprising. Since he was usually being watched while  
he did his routines.  
Akane, who through no fault of her own, was by  
nature an early riser. But Kasumi rose at an even  
earlier hour than she did and Akane had found Kasumi  
had taken over the temple's kitchen and was in the  
process of preparing some breakfast. Despite wanting  
to help, Kasumi mildly, but firmly told Akane that it  
was all taken care off and that she shouldn't worry  
herself. Having nothing else to do until breakfast  
was served, she sat on the sill of her window and  
watched Ranma. She knew he was good. Those few times  
she'd sparred with him, at her suggestion, she could  
never lay a hand on him. But it had been a long time  
since she'd seen him actually move like that... the  
grace... the speed... the precision... the beauty...  
Unbidden a sigh escaped Akane's lips and she  
was surprised to find it echoed. She leaned out a bit  
and saw Ranko, similarly sitting on the next room's  
windowsill looking at her. They frowned at the same  
time.  
"You," Akane said without much enthusiasm.  
"You," Ranko replied.  
After a moment's pause while they glared at  
each other, Ranko turned to look at Ranma again.  
"Amazing isn't he?" She murmured in an awed tone.  
Akane followed suit and watched Ranma as well,  
"You could say that..." She replied distantly,  
concentrating on his movements... After a few  
moments, Akane turned to look at Ranko. Ranko's eyes  
were firmly on Ranma. Her face was flushed and she  
had an expression of rapt fascination. Her breathing  
was coming in shallow gasps as if she were trying to  
keep from breathing lest she interrupt him... she  
looked... Akane couldn't tell what she looked like.  
She'd never seen Ranko like this.  
Akane stepped out of her window, murmuring a  
quiet spell... she walked across the thin air and the  
two story drop separating their windows. She stood on  
thin air for a moment, while Ranko realized what she  
meant to do and moved aside a little on the window to  
let her sit.  
"You really do like him, don't you?" Akane said  
finally.  
Ranko snapped out of her reverie, looked at  
Akane. She smiled an uncharacteristically gentle  
smile, "I don't like him at all. I hate him...  
"But..."  
"Because I'm in love with him..." Ranko sighed.  
Akane made a face, "You're kidding right? That  
makes absolutely no sense! I mean you've spent all  
this time trying to break us up and get home and  
annoying him... all this time..."  
Ranko grimaced at Akane, "Give me a break  
Akane. Up until Nabiki showed up, I couldn't get near  
him without his turning into a girl... that or he'd  
be spending all his time with you... and you were  
acting like he was your personal property already. It  
wasn't exactly something I enjoyed seeing you know...  
so of course I wanted to get home..."  
"But..."  
"I'll admit, I started out trying really hard  
to hate him... so I could pull all those stunts to  
convince him to send us away, send us home... but  
after a while... it became less a matter of going  
home and more a matter of not seeing you two  
anymore..."  
"You mean all of those tricks, all of those  
stunts and spells were because you were jealous?"  
Akane asked incredulously.  
"Got it in one hammer girl. But now I can be  
close to him and he doesn't have to be scared of  
me..."  
Akane merely frowned in reply.  
Ranko frowned back, "Don't look at me like  
that. He's not yours."  
"He's not yours either!" Akane shot back.  
"Yes, but I have no illusions about it. And I  
know perfectly well how I feel about him and I can  
tell it to him now. Which is more than I can say  
about you.  
Akane was taken aback, "He... he knows how I  
feel..."  
"Which is nowhere near actually telling him."  
"That's not the point! I'm not a wanton woman  
like you..!"  
"But it is the point, Akane. It's not a matter  
of being wanton, but honesty... I'm willing to be  
honest with him... I want to be... Think about it. If  
we'd started out on equal footing, without the stupid  
sex-changing thing, who do you think he'd be with  
now, hmmm?  
"But you just admitted that you weren't being  
honest with him early on!"  
"Times change, cousin. Situations change... it  
wasn't right before..." Ranko cut off the rest of her  
statement to look at Ranma again who was currently in  
the process of delivering multiple blows to a wooden  
man. "It could be right, now." Ranko smiled, running  
a hand across the neckline of her robe...  
"You wouldn't dare!" Akane sputtered.  
"I've got you worried now, don't I?" Ranko's  
grin widened.  
Akane pushed her anger down with an effort of  
will, but distant thunder rumbled. She crossed her  
arms and looked away, "Not at all. He's already told  
me that he'd rather be with me than with you."  
"Mortals can be fickle, Akane." Ranko all but  
purred.  
"Not Ranma." Akane replied firmly.  
"You know you're not as sure as you sound."  
Akane had no reply to that.  
Ranko turned back to watch Ranma, who by now  
had stopped his routine, and her eyes widened in  
surprise as Kasumi stepped out of the temple and  
approached Ranma, a towel in hand.  
"What the..?" Akane frowned.  
Ranma, laughing nervously, accepted the towel  
from Kasumi who seemed to be insisting that she  
should wipe him down with it...  
Ranko laughed suddenly, "Why that sneaky... I  
didn't realize Kasumi had it in her..."  
"It's probably not like that... I mean... this  
is Kasumi..." Akane replied weakly, "She's just being  
nice to him."  
Ranko thought for a moment then smirked, "You  
know, you're right. Nabiki wouldn't do that without  
an ulterior motive, but Kasumi would do it just  
because."  
Akane sensing the change in the mood and the  
topic of the conversation continued, "You and Nabiki  
still don't get along do you?"  
"Not since she sold those photos of me to all  
of those Juvenile Gods a couple of years ago..."  
Ranko admitted.  
"But I thought you enjoyed showing yourself  
off..." Akane smirked.  
"Yeah, but I didn't make a cent off of that  
deal." Ranko grumped, "Besides which she didn't sell  
a single one of them to any good looking Gods, just a  
bunch of geeks..."  
"I... I see... I guess." Akane nodded slowly.  
"Hey... who's that?!" Ranko cried suddenly,  
pointing to the outer courtyard wall.  
"Wha..?"  
Someone, a woman with long brown hair, tied  
into a ponytail with a long white ribbon, dressed in  
a beige oversized sweater and black leggings leaped  
over the wall. She had a duffel bag over one shoulder  
and what looked like a rugbeater in one hand, raised  
over her head in an attack position. She was followed  
by a second woman... a girl really, with a messy  
thatch of short brown hair, she wore a pastel pink  
jumper and a white shirt underneath in hand she  
twirled what looked like a gymnastics ribbon.  
"They're attacking Ranma!" Akane cried out,  
unhitching her hammer from its holster. She leapt off  
the window to rush to Ranma's aid.  
Ranko stared for a moment before she frowned,  
"Now what?" She murmured quietly to herself as a  
glowing sphere of energy began to form between her  
hands... she wouldn't use it unless necessary, but  
she wasn't going to be taken by surprise...  
Ranma casually sidestepped the first swipe with  
the rugbeater and danced out of range hurriedly as  
the woman hurled the duffel bag at him. The woman,  
undeterred, gave chase whirling her weapon in a  
complex pattern as she did so.  
Kasumi merely stood aside and allowed the woman  
to pass, a look of faint surprise on her face, "Oh  
my... I see we have guests," Kasumi said.  
Akane managed to intercept the girl before she  
could reach Ranma. Akane swung her hammer in a low  
sweep hoping to catch the girl's legs out from under  
her, but the girl jumped up, avoiding the sweep  
easily. At the end of its arc, Akane shifted her grip  
quickly on her weapon and swung it in a neat overhand  
arc. She didn't really want to hurt them too much,  
but it would be easier if they were knocked out. The  
girl, still in mid leap, lashed out suddenly in  
response to the descending hammer with her ribbon.  
Akane found her hammer entangled with the ribbon and  
pulled unceremoniously off target as the girl gave  
the ribbon a quick jerk.  
"She's good..." Akane thought to herself as the  
hammer embedded into the ground. The girl, who Akane  
only then realized was barefoot, landed on the head  
of her weapon, balancing easily.  
"...But not good enough!!" Akane shouted as she  
ripped the hammer out of the ground, giving it a  
mighty heave, sending the girl flying into the air...  
Ranma had gone into a series of defensive  
movements, ducking and weaving.. The rugbeater  
swiping dangerously close, but never close enough. He  
was laughing, "Is that the best you can do?!"  
The woman gave a snarl and lunged, thrusting  
her weapon at him. Ranma timed it and launched  
himself at her to avoid the strike. He flipped  
forward, placing a hand on her head to vault with.  
The woman stumbled forward as Ranma sprang away. She  
glances up at him as he hung in the air and she gave  
an amused smile. He was making faces at her as he  
began to correct his position to land... Busy as he  
was with that, he didn't hear the cry of "Gotcha!"  
until it was too late.  
He tried to twist in the air for a better view  
of the new threat, but was unceremoniously tackled  
out of the air and dropping to the ground, bracing  
for a hard impact. Unfortunately, Kasumi, who was  
walking slowly back to the house to set new places at  
the table, was in the way.  
Akane rushed to save Kasumi and get her out of  
the way, thunder rumbling closer now... when the  
woman vaulted in using her rugbeater to pull Kasumi  
out of the way of the tangled mess that was Ranma and  
the girl with the ribbon.  
Ranko who was gauging the emotions of the  
combatants finally allowed her energy ball to  
dissipate. She'd felt almost no aggression or anger  
whatsoever from the two strangers... if anything...  
she'd felt a great deal of... affection... what was  
going on here? She wondered to herself as she leapt  
down to join them.  
From the tangled heap on the ground... there  
was much squirming... and a decidedly odd noise could  
be heard... laughter. Akane, Kasumi and Ranko stood  
confused. The woman lunged at the laughing heap and  
also began to participate in what was going on...  
"Peace! Peace! I surrender!" Ranma cried out  
breathlessly, still laughing. He had an arm around  
the waist of each of the two strangers and was  
holding them too close for Akane's comfort.  
"Gotcha!" giggled the girl who had her arms  
wrapped around his neck.  
"What is going on around here?!" Akane  
demanded.  
"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts  
Two Pronged Tickle Assault!" The girl declared  
happily.  
Ranma looked up at the three women standing and  
realized that Akane had that 'Someone had better  
explain this to me or they will be hammered' look in  
her eye. Ranko was just smiling in a rather  
disturbing manner at him, if he had to guess,  
probably imagining herself twined around him... and  
Kasumi... well... Kasumi looked like she always did.  
The other woman sat up her hands still  
playfully on Ranma's stomach, looked at each of the  
three goddesses in turn and then turned to Ranma,  
"'Nichan, who are they?"  
"'Nichan?!" The three goddesses said  
simultaneously. Akane's tone was of surprise...  
Ranko's was speculative... Kasumi, being Kasumi, took  
it calmly.  
From the house, Nabiki stepped out and called,  
"Hey... Saotome! Phone call... What's going on over  
there..?"  
The girl turned to the look sat Nabiki then at  
Ranma, "Our brother is being a naughty boy again."  
"Looks like it," the woman said in reply, "Four  
at a time? That is amazing."  
"Hey, quite talking about me like I'm not even  
here!" Ranma voiced.  
All eyes turned to Ranma Saotome...  
"Well, since you're here anyway, an explanation  
would be nice." Akane growled.  
"It's not what you think!" he replied, trying  
to untangle himself from the two girls... they  
weren't quite cooperating.  
Nabiki called again, "You'd better get this  
call, "Saotome. This is costing you..."  
Ranma sprang to his feet, separating himself  
hurriedly from the two strangers, "I'll get that...  
why don't you introduce yourselves to each other..."  
The woman and the girl exchanged glances, "Is  
it just me or is he getting better at making these  
exits?" the woman asked.  
"Looks like it." The girl replied. Just as  
Nabiki made her own way to the group of five women.  
"Now..." Akane said, as she helped the two up,  
"Who are you guys?"  
Nabiki put her hands at her hips, "This looks  
like its going to be interesting..."  
Ranko merely glared at Nabiki.  
"I'm Natsume Saotome," the woman replied,  
"Ranma's sister. This is our youngest sister,  
Kurumi."  
"Hi!" Kurumi waved to them, "So... are all of  
you 'Nichan's girlfriends?"  
Nabiki chuckled and gave a grin, "Only if he  
paid me..."  
Kasumi seemed slightly puzzled but she  
blushed...  
Akane choked slightly...  
Ranko nodded quickly, moving closer towards the  
Saotome sisters, "Nope. Just me."  
"No, you're not!" Akane quickly recovered.  
Natsume shook her head slowly, "And he used to  
be such a shy guy..."  
Kurumi merely nodded.

Ranma mentally blessed whoever it was on the  
other end of the phone, as he dashed into the house.  
Regardless of who it was. He could explain the entire  
matter easily, but not with the ENTIRE Tendo family  
of Goddesses looking at him like that. Especially not  
Akane in that state... hopefully Natsume and Kurumi  
could straighten out the situation on their own...  
unless Kurumi decided to make matters worse... it was  
a little late to regret his decision to bug out...  
He picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"  
On the other end of the line, Ryouga's voice  
replied, obviously annoyed, "What took you?"  
"Oh. You. What do you want, Ryouga?"  
"Mousse and I have come up with a sure fire way  
for the Martial Arts Varsity to score big money  
before the sem ends."  
"Oh yeah? What bright scheme is it this time?"  
Ranma said incredulously.  
"Well, the school fair's coming up soon,  
right?"  
"Yeah..." Ranma replied cautiously... he'd  
learned not to trust Ryouga and Mousse's get rich  
quick schemes...  
"Well, we come up with a presentation for the  
fair. With you, Akane and Ranko in it and we can  
charge people for entrance! Much as I hate to admit  
it, between your three fanclubs we'll rake it in! "  
"Ranko and Akane have fanclubs?"  
"You haven't heard?"  
"No." Ranma replied incredulously... he needed  
to pay more attention to what happened in the  
school...  
"I though mine broke up already? You know...  
after me and Akane at the start of the sem..."  
"Yeah it did, but Kodachi managed to reorganize  
'em again after the rumors you two split up started  
popping up again."  
"I don't believe this."  
"Better believe it." Ranma could almost feel  
Ryouga grinning on the other end of the line.  
"By the way, the jury is still out for the  
'Break up cause' betting pool... but we've kept the  
odds pretty low on the 'Just another nasty rumor',  
just in case."  
"Good thinking." Ranma replied sourly.  
"In any case, Ranma, we're giving you the  
starring role, for the crowd draw potential."  
"What?! What're you talking about, Ryouga! I  
don't know anything about acting!"  
"What's the matter Ranma..? Chicken?"  
"What?! Who're you calling a chicken?! I just  
said I..."  
"Okay... I guess you don't care what happened  
to the Varsity... "  
"I didn't say that either!!"  
"It's alright to say it... if you're too much  
of a coward to help us out, we understand..."  
Ryouga's voice said slowly, in a hurt tone, "Maybe we  
can give you a little job... like fanning the REAL  
star... or holding the sandbags... or something..."  
"Fine then! I'll star in your damn play! It's  
the least you owe me!" Ranma shouted into the phone.  
"Great! We'll be there with the rest of the  
club to discuss the preliminaries in half an hour!"  
Ryouga replied.  
"Fine!" Ranma shouted into the phone, before  
slamming it back into the cradle... it didn't occur  
to him until a few beats later what he had once again  
wandered into a Hibiki and Mousse get rich quick  
scheme. He slapped himself on the forehead and  
wandered out to the foyer... he HATED it when they  
did this to him.

Back at the Martial Arts Varsity Gym, Ryouga  
traded high fives with Mousse, watched by the other  
members of the varsity team.  
"Hook line and sinker, Ryouga-kun, as always."  
Mousse grinned.  
"Man, is Ranma ever gullible..." Ryouga  
chuckled.  
Shampoo stood near them her arms crossed and  
her toe tapping angrily, "Shampoo still say this no  
good idea... maybe should've asked Ranma-sempai nice-  
nice, maybe he agree without fast-talk..."  
"Saotome would never agree in that manner,  
Shampoo-chan." Mousse replied.  
"Besides," Ryouga grinned, "This is more fun."  
"Um... what play ARE we going to present,  
sempai?" asked the pink-haired newbie, over whom  
opinions as to the masculinity or femininity thereof  
were still in question, even now two thirds of the  
way through the sem...  
Mousse and Ryouga traded blank expressions,  
"Er..."  
Shampoo shook her head reprovingly at the two  
heads of the club, "Silly sempai... obviously no  
know."

Ranma stormed out of the house to find the  
girls had all gathered around the table at the foyer  
and were chatting amiably. Ranko, Akane and Nabiki  
were all talking with Natsume, while Kurumi helped  
Kasumi bring breakfast out...  
The scene was enough to give him some pause. It  
was almost a little too... pleasant.  
"Everything, okay?" Ranma asked hopefully.  
Natsume waved to him, "Of course it is,  
'Nichan. You could've introduced us to them sooner  
though."  
"Why didn't you tell us you had sisters?" Akane  
asked, smiling at him.  
Kurumi giggled as she put the tray down, she  
said in a mock hurt tone, "Probably ashamed of us or  
something... what a bad brother..."  
"You know that's not it, sis..." Ranma replied.  
Natsume grinned and said to the three women she  
was talking to, "I'm still not quite getting this  
though... so you're Ranma's girlfriend, right?" She  
pointed to Akane.  
"Not formally..." Akane blushed. Ranma blushed  
too...  
Ranko sighed and rolled her eyes, "No. they  
aren't. He's still a free agent," Ranko moved up to  
Ranma suddenly, "Isn't that right, honey?" she moved  
as if to wrap an arm around his waist, but he jumped  
out of her reach, landing next to the seated Akane.  
"Hey! Stop that!" Ranma and Akane said  
simultaneously, both glaring at Ranko.  
She winked at him and blew him a kiss, "Tease."  
Nabiki grinned, "As you can see, things have  
been quite interesting here."  
Natsume nodded in agreement.  
The food having been set, could hardly be  
ignored, thus they dug in. It quickly became apparent  
that a ravenous appetite was a Saotome family trait.  
As Ranma, Natsume and Kurmi ate with much gusto...  
Akane watched in horrified fascination as the three  
of them managed to consume thrice what the combined  
Tendo's had... thank goodness Kasumi liked cooking  
large meals.  
Conversation had ground to a stop during this  
time for obvious reasons...  
"So, guys," Ranma asked his sisters after the  
last of the food had been consumed, "What are you  
doing here?"  
"Didn't you get the letter Pop sent?" Kurumi  
asked.  
"Letter? What letter?" Ranma asked, confused.  
"The one telling you we were coming." Natsume  
replied.  
"I didn't get one."  
"Funny, it should've arrived a week ago..."  
Natsume said thoughtfully.  
Akane and Ranko looked at each other. The two  
traded embarrassed glances.  
Akane sprang to her feet and dashed for the  
hallway.  
"Wha--?" Ranma asked. Ranko rolled her eyes up  
to the ceiling and quietly counted the cracks...  
Akane came back a few moments later, holding an  
envelope in one hand and a handful of papers in the  
other, "Was this it?" she asked as she passed it to  
Ranma.  
"Yeah, that looks like Pop's handwriting."  
Kurumi said.  
Nabiki leaned uncomfortably close to Ranma to  
peer at the envelope, "That's someone's handwriting?"  
"Well, Pop's got a sloppy hand," Ranma replied  
as he opened the letter. "Where was this, anyway? I  
haven't seen it before."  
"Well..." Ranko began, slightly embarassed...  
"Do you remember the night Nabiki arrived?"  
Akane asked.  
Ranma glanced at Nabiki, who had by now moved  
back to her original position, "Yeah, what about it?"  
"Remember when I was... um..." Akane stammered.  
"When she was chasing me around the house  
trying to hammer my lights out for planting a great  
big wet one on you." Ranko smiled silkily at Ranma.  
Akane turned to glare at Ranko a moment before  
she continued, "In any case... she knocked over the  
table in the hallway where we keep the new mail..."  
"Me? It was you who knocked it over, swinging  
the polo hammer of yours..." Ranko shot back  
gesticulating wildly, "That letter must've fallen  
behind it..."  
"Whatever!" Ranma interrupted, "I get the  
picture. Somebody knocked it off..." as he read  
through the letter. He looked up at Natsume in  
surprise as he finished, "Wow. I didn't realize  
they'd advanced you that much."  
Natsume gave a grin and shrugged, "What can I  
say, I'm not just another pretty face."  
Kurumi chimed in, "Yeah, you're not even that."  
Natsume glared sourly at Kurumi.  
"What does it say?" Akane asked reclaiming her  
seat next to Ranma.  
"Well, just that it turns out that Sis finished  
high-school ahead of everyone else, she's already  
applied to Nekomi Tech and passed the entrance  
exam... she's going to be studying here."  
"Oh my, that's wonderful, does that mean you'll  
be able to visit?" Kasumi asked.  
"Probably so," Natsume grinned, "You've got a  
cozy set up here... and this food's great."  
"Thank you." Kasumi smiled.  
Natsume turned to Ranma, "I was sort of hoping  
you'd help me look for an apartment..."  
"Sure no problem. I know of a couple of  
places," he replied.  
Akane added, "I think Ukyou still has that back  
room available."  
Ranma nodded then turned to look at his  
youngest sister. "Of course this doesn't explain why  
you're here though..."  
Kurumi smiled sweetly at him, "Aww, come on,  
'Nichan... You don't expect 'Nechan to visit without  
bringing me along. Besides we missed you, you never  
call, you never write..."  
Ranma looked slightly sheepish.  
Natsume elbowed her sister, "And now we can see  
why he never invites us to visit..." the two giggled,  
and Nabiki hid a smirk behind the back of her hand.  
Ranko rested her chin on her hand and grinned  
at the Saotome sisters, "Well, it's not every day you  
find out that your brother's got his own personal  
harem, hmmm?"  
"Ranko!" Akane sputtered, shocked.  
Ranma colored slightly and cast about  
desperately for a way to change the topic... "Er...  
um... good thing we only lost that one letter, huh?"  
Akane glanced at the handful of papers she  
still held, "Actually, it fell along with the rest of  
the bills..."  
"The bills?" Ranma groaned... "I was wondering  
why they took so long!"  
Akane looked through them, "Um... it looks like  
they're going to be cutting our water and electricity  
off soon..."  
"Oh my." Kasumi paled slightly.  
Nabiki snatched the bills out of Akane's hand,  
"Not to worry about that, sis. I'll take care of it."  
Ranko, Akane and Ranma boggled at Nabiki, even  
Kasumi's moderate expression slipped slightly.  
"You what?!" Ranko burst out.  
Kurumi and Natsume traded confused looks,  
"What's wrong with her paying the bills?" Natsume  
asked.  
Ranko faced the two sisters and jerked a thumb  
in Nabiki's direction, "This is the shrewdest, most  
tightfisted, money grubbing mercenary on the planet!  
She'd never offer to do something like that!"  
Nabiki waved a hand airily at Ranko,  
"Compliments will get you nowhere, cousin."  
Kasumi put a hand on Nabiki's forehead,  
"Sister, are you feeling, alright?"  
Nabiki laughed Kasumi off, "I'm fine, 'sis. In  
any case," she grinned at Ranma, "Let's just say I'll  
be happy to get Ranma owing me a little more."  
For some indescribable reason, everyone who  
knew, felt slightly more relieved by Nabiki's  
statement... everyone except Ranma of course.  
"I'll pay you back next payday, Nabiki." Akane  
said.  
Nabiki tsked, "Now, now, sis. The one who owes  
me is Ranma, not you. No paying off his debts for  
him.  
Natsume leaned towards her brother, "'Nichan...  
you've got some heavy duty weird living companions."  
Ranma mouthed, "You don't know the half of it."  
Nabiki stood up, "In any case... I've still got  
some business to take care of. It was nice meeting  
you Natsume, Kurumi." She bowed to each.  
"I'll see you around." She smiled as she walked  
off.  
Kasumi stood up as well, "I'd better get  
started on lunch..."  
"But we just finished breakfeast..." Ranma  
said.  
"True enough," Kasumi said as she swept into  
the kitchen, "And before you know it, you'll be  
hungry again, best to have an early start."  
"Better make a bit more than usual, though,  
Kasumi-san." Ranma called after her, "The Martial  
Arts Varsity going to be dropping by in a while!"  
"They are?" Akane asked "Did they say why?"  
"They want you, me and Ranko to star in some  
sort of production for the school fair."  
"They want me to act? Moi?" Ranko smiled,  
genuinely flattered, "Well... it's about time, I got  
noticed..."  
"Sounds interesting." Akane nodded agreeably.  
"Martial Arts Varsity... say... didn't you used  
to live at their dorm?" Kurumi asked after a moment.  
"Yeah, I did..."  
"When you wrote home a while back that you'd  
moved out of the dorm, Mom and Dad thought you'd  
gotten some girl in trouble and they wanted to rush  
over here to see what was going on." Natsume grinned.  
"Er..."  
Ranko and Akane swapped glances, then burst out  
laughing.  
"Not quite."  
"Sort of."  
The two goddesses chuckled simultaneously,  
despite Ranma's mild scowl.  
Kurumi's eyes widened, "You didn't..! 'Nichan,  
don't tell me you've already got a baby you haven't  
been hiding from everyone! Who's the mother?"  
Akane gaped in surprise, totally caught off  
guard. Ranko broke out into a fresh burst of  
laughter...  
"Hey! Quit talking like that, 'Nechan! What if  
someone heard you and..."  
A familiar voice called out from around the  
corner, "What was that about Ranma having a baby?"  
"Oh great..." Ranma bowed his head, "It never  
fails... one small totally false rumor and everyone's  
heard of it inside of a day..."  
Ukyou walked into plain view, "Ranma and Akane  
are going to have a baby?" She looked pleasantly  
surprised at the news. She was dressed as usual in  
her shirt and slacks, but she hadn't taken any  
blatant pains to hide her femininity, but she still  
gave a definite impression of being an androgynously  
handsome young man.  
Akane blushed, "No, that's not it!"  
Ranko went into a mock tragic pose, "Yes...  
yes... oh the shame of it all... an unwed mother at  
the tender age of nineteen all because Ranma refuses  
to do the honorable thing and make an honest woman of  
her..."  
"Ran-ko!" Akane thundered.  
"Is everyone going to keep talking or are they  
going to listen first?" Ranma asked, looking  
harassed.  
Natsume and Kurumi looked at Ukyou  
speculatively, then at each other.  
"Nine." Kurumi said.  
"Eight and a half." Replied Natsume.  
"Beg pardon?" Ukyou asked... she did a double  
take as she looked at the Saotome sisters... "Nat-  
chan? Kurumi-chan? Is that you?"  
The Saotome sisters looked at Ukyou again in  
surprise, "What?" They tried to get a closer look at  
her, but it proved too difficult as she'd already  
barreled past Ranma and was in the process of  
smothering both women in chest crushing hugs...  
"Ohhh... it's been so long!" Ukyou bubbled.  
"Er..." Natsume tried to begin...  
"Who..?" Kurumi attempted to ask, trying to  
fight her way out of the hold...  
"Wha..?" Ranko asked, slightly miffed that her  
speech was interrupted.  
Ukyou released them somewhat and pulled back  
just enough for them to get a good look at her face,  
"It's me guys, don't you remember Ucchan any more?"  
Natsume's eyes widened in recognition, "Ucchan?  
Ukyou? It IS you! I didn't recognize you!"  
Kurumi ohhhed, "Ukyou-nesan, you looked like a  
guy!"  
Ukyou laughed warmly, "Just a fashion  
statement, guys. Nothing to get upset about." She  
turned to Ranma, "Now... what did I just hear about a  
baby?"  
"Let me TRY to explain it from the top..."  
Ranma said, sighing internally... once again he was  
being forced to play catch up.

He was still there trying to straighten  
everyone out and give his sisters the more or less  
accurate (although lacking in certain significant  
portions) backgrounder on what had been happening to  
him the past semester when the entire club arrived.  
Incidentally, just in time for lunch. Kasumi  
had the foresight to provide enough food to feed a  
small army. Ranma decided to himself that it wasn't  
wise to question just precisely WHERE she had gotten  
all of that food. He'd gotten so used to strange  
things happening in his vicinity that he could almost  
begin to edit them out.  
Of course... the ENTIRE club caught the tail  
end of the 'Ranma and Akane's baby' discussion and  
despite Ryouga and Mousse's smiling assurances that  
the story wouldn't go ANYWHERE, Ranma knew perfectly  
well that come Monday the betting pools would be set  
up for whether the theoretical baby was a boy or a  
girl...  
Introductions were of course made... certain  
others of course pointedly ignored certain people...  
and certain people with crushes were forced to keep  
them unexpressed...  
By the end of the afternoon... four fist fights  
had broken out and been broken up, snacks had been  
served twice, Natsume and Kurumi had somehow managed  
to get themselves recruited as honorary members into  
the Martial Arts Varsity.  
By eight in the evening, the intended reason  
for the meeting had long since been forgotten and the  
entire thing had degenerated into a much delayed  
housewarming (or is that templewarming?) party...  
People had fun.  
Most of them anyway.  
On her bed, Nabiki tapped idly on her  
calculator... Kasumi sat on the chair facing her as  
she knit what appeared to be a scarf.  
"I still need a little more before he'll be  
ready, Kasumi..." Nabiki said. A hint of concern in  
her voice.  
Kasumi smiled gently at her, "I'm sure you can  
do it before the time comes, 'Nechan..."  
Nabiki sighed heavily, "I wish I had your  
confidence, 'Nesama... I really do."  
"Now, now... don't do that to yourself, you'll  
only make yourself feel worse. Just do your best."  
Nabiki put the calculator away and grinned,  
"This would be so much simpler to do if I wasn't who  
I was..."  
Kasumi set aside her knitting and looked her  
sister straight in the eye, "Nabiki-chan... don't say  
such things. The Office of the Goddess of  
Transactions is a very powerful and honorable  
office."  
"I know that... I just wish I weren't so..."  
she clenched a fist, "Limited."  
"We aren't allowed to be perfect," Kasumi  
replied gently.  
"Yeah, yeah... old and established roles... I  
know. I just have this feeling, sis..."  
"Yes?"  
"The thing we're preparing for..?" Nabiki  
continued, "I've got a feeling it's going to be  
approaching sooner than we realize."  
"Oh my. I hope not."

Outside the temple... beyond the reach of the  
temple's influence... beyond the lights and music and  
laughter... on a lamppost on the street across... a  
shadowed figure stood with certain balance. The moon  
shining behind it left it little more than a  
silhouette, but the definite impressions left were of  
those of a young child... in the wind a balloon  
danced lightly, as a wordless tune echoed through the  
streets...

--End Part VIII--


	9. Chapter 9

**That's 1/2 My Goddess Part IX**

Of Serious Plays and Whimsical Theatre...  
  
Tonight was the last night. The Martial Arts Varsity had been working overtime this past month because tomorrow... tomorrow would be opening night for their production of the 'Golden Comb', a traditional Japanese fairy tale. There hadn't been a particular reason why they'd decided on doing this play, beyond the fact that it had two female leads and one male lead. Perfect for Ranma and the Tendo cousins, Akane and Ranko.  
Admittedly, there were other plays considered for the fair, including Gosunkugi's insistence on 'The King in Yellow'. Fortunately cooler heads prevailed. Likewise, there was a small faction within the Varsity team, mostly comprised of a few newbies, who had wanted to do 'Castle of Cagliostro' for the simple reason that several of them had already acted in it back in high school. Also considered was the musical Sunset Boulevard, adapted into Japanese. With Ranma as Joe Gillis, Ranko as Norma Desmond and Akane as Betty Schafer. Unfortunately, Ranko had totally refused to be made up as an aging silent film actress past her prime and no one was able to come up with a decent translation of the songs anyway, thus that idea was scrapped.  
Ticket sales were already through the roof. They were going to have the auditorium packed. In a few cases, members of the respective Saotome and both Tendo fanclubs had purchased multiple tickets just to spite their rivals.  
Nabiki's offer to do the auditing for a small cut of the fee was well received by the senior Varsity members because they wanted to be free to concentrate on the play... of course, Nabiki neglected to mention she was going to use some of the money to invest in certain... other activities. There may be more on that later.  
Natsume's 'one week visit while she's looking for an apartment' had extended itself indefinitely. She'd become a part of the household quite quickly, becoming fast friends with Akane... Kurumi had been sent home at the end of the week. They didn't want their parents to worry... or drop in for that matter.  
Ukyou, out of pity, had offered to cater their practices for a small fee... Ryouga, of course, immediately accepted.  
But that was the past... tomorrow afternoon would be the performance...  
the play was the thing and tonight was the last night...  
Ranma spoke to Ranko, "So all this time... I was... um... er..."  
Mousse winced and stood suddenly from the cloth chair which had 'Director' written across its back. He'd insisted on bringing it. He was dressed in his regular white overcoat, but he wore a red beret slightly askew. He pulled a mega-phone out of his coat and shouted into it, "Cut! Cut! CUT!!! Saotome, tonight is our final run through and you still haven't memorized your lines?!  
Ranma frowned at Mousse, doing his best to control his nervousness and irritation. It wasn't really his fault it had to be admitted... for some obscure reason, the story had originally been given to Shampoo to turn into a play. She had managed to create a wonderful stage play out of the traditional fairy tale. Complete with stirring dialogue and elegant metered prose. Unfortunately, she'd written the original script in Chinese, before translating it into Japanese. Despite Mousse's tutoring in the matter, her Japanese still stank abominably. It was eventually corrected by Mousse, but up until this late date, errors still kept popping up.  
Ranko, the current source of Ranma's unease, draped her arms languidly around him, "Can't I at least finish the kissing scene?"  
To one side, Ryouga crossed his arms and glared at Ranma. He was annoyed at the delay in general and Ranma in particular. This was not new.  
What was new, was that Natsume had her arm linked with Ryouga's and was looking as if she were enjoying herself just a little bit too much... She had volunteered to play Ryouga's wife and was giving a very convincing, if occasionally entirely too enthusiastic performance, much to Ukyou's simmering annoyance and Ryouga's utter obliviousness.  
From offstage, Akane shouted, "It's a cut, Ranko! When it's a cut you stop the scene! Haven't you learned that yet?!"  
Ranko turned to Akane, a grin on her features as she winked, "What're you getting so jealous about? I mean you've got two kissing scenes with him, I only get one."  
That was another problem. They hadn't managed to practice any of the kissing scenes at all, because something, somehow, would inevitably interfere. Falling sandbags, flying okonomiyaki, thrown hammers, rabid fans, even an escaped alligator. Not a single kissing scene had been practiced yet. Not surprisingly Mousse was exceedingly annoyed.  
Mousse threw his megaphone onto the ground and jumped up and down on it a few times until he felt better, "That does it! Everyone take five! We'll try it again afterwards!!"  
Shampoo, holding a clipboard, followed Mousse, giving an apologetic backward glance towards the rest of the crew.  
Ranko leaned close to Ranma, whispering playfully into his ear, "You know... we could always slip away and practice the scene on our own behind the auditorium..."  
Ranma pulled away from Ranko, a worried grin pasted onto his face, "Erhm... thanks, but no, Ranko." It was taking all of his willpower to keep from transforming into a girl... Admittedly, the transformation was now triggered by an act of will, but Ranma had discovered the he still tended to transform into a woman while in close proximity to Ranko... Nabiki claimed it was just an ingrained reflex, but no one was exactly certain.  
Akane stalked towards them, "You can let him go now, Ranko."  
Ranko did, smiling cattily at Akane, and favoring Ranma with a saucy wink...  
Akane turned to Ranma a frown still marring her features, "And you... try not to look so much as if you're enjoying yourself!"  
"But I wasn't..!"  
"Yes you were!" Ranko called back as she walked away.  
Akane's frown deepened, looking intently at him, "So what are you smiling for then?!"  
"But he was supposed to look like he's enjoying himself." Ryouga muttered darkly as he walked offstage... "He's kissing her, for goodness sake, he's supposed to enjoy himself right?"  
"If you say so, Hibiki-sempai." Natsume cooed adoringly from his arm.  
"Right," Ryouga muttered, not realizing who'd answered him.  
"I wouldn't really know... I've never been kissed..." Natsume murmured meaningfully to him.  
He finally realized who was saying this, "Erhm... shouldn't you let go of me now?"  
"Should I?" she asked innocently.

Mousse moved quickly towards the prop managers, still on a low grade simmer... the newbies in charge gave a fearful glance towards him then quickly consulted among themselves...  
"Everything set, I hope?" Mousse asked, heavy emphasis on the last two words...  
"Er... everything but one," the pink-haired freshman of uncertain gender replied, "We... er... we couldn't find a golden comb..."  
"WHAT?!" Mousse blew up, "How can we call this play 'The Golden Comb' if we don't have a golden comb?!"  
Shampoo put a hand on Mousse's shoulder, "Mousse-sempai stay calm... no be good to anyone if no calm!"  
"Er..." the newbie tried to say, "We... er... we did find... um..." another member was shoved to the fore, "You show him!"  
"We got this." Said another freshman... a somewhat unremarkable though handsome redheaded man, holding a long piece of shaped black plastic in his hand...  
Mousse blinked at it through his glasses. He paused for a moment to wipe his glasses clean on his sleeve, hoping against hope that it wasn't what he thought it was.  
He put his glasses on. Blinked again then finally said, "Is... that..."  
Shampoo peered at it and blurted, "Ai-yah! You want to call play, 'Black Hairbrush'?"  
"This is unacceptable!" Mousse roared.  
"No! No, it's okay!" the pink-haired freshie soothed, "We found some gold paint... and well..."  
The other freshman held up a can of gold spray paint, and spritzed the hairbrush... it turned a rather unconvincing shade of dark metallic yellow... just like black plastic that had been sprayed with gold paint...  
"What did I do to deserve this..?" Mousse muttered.

Ranma yawned hugely as he stepped out of the rest room straightening the kimono that was his costume... this entire thing was going into overtime again. It was already past ten and Mousse was apparently not going to let anyone sleep until they had at least one perfect run through. No one had any idea how long it would take to get one of those. It was bad enough he had two roles in this production...  
"Oh, Ranma..." a silken voice cut through his thoughts...  
Ranma turned around to find that Ranko was leaning against the wall next to the restroom door.  
"What do you want Ranko?" Ranma asked, carefully.  
"You." Ranko said, smiling at him as she approached quietly...  
Ranma backed away nervously, "Ranko, I... you know I'm not... erhm..."  
"No need to deny it Ranma... you can feel it too..." Ranko continued, "This continuing denial of your feelings isn't healthy..."  
"No... no... no..." Ranma stuttered.  
"I know why you keep turning into a woman whenever I'm nearby Ranma... and it's not this 'conditioned reflex' thing Nabiki says..."  
"Er... that's all very nice Ranko, but..."  
"You know it's because I turn you on..."  
"Wha--?!" Ranma choked, stopping in surprise, "Where'd you get that idea-"  
"No use denying it," Ranko said smiling hungrily at him, "I can feel your pulse rate rise when you look at me... I can feel the increase in your body temperature... I know you want me..."  
"That's not..."  
Ranko wrapped her arms around his neck and murmured softly, "Liar."  
"Ran-ko! Stop that..." Ranma cried trying to pull away... despite himself, she was starting to affect him... Ranko was a devastatingly gorgeous woman after all... and he was a man... a very tempted man...  
Her eyes twinkled merrily, locked with his, "Yesss... you are enjoying it aren't you?"  
"No..." Ranma denied vaguely and without much conviction, "It's..."  
Ranko lifted her face up to meet his, "You know you want me... and the only way you think you can avoid it is by turning into a woman..."  
It was only Ryouga's timely arrival that totally spoiled the entire scene, "Finally found the bathroom..." he muttered.  
Ryouga had to take a second look before the scene occurring just next to the bathroom door registered. He gave a tiny squeak before he collapsed from a nosebleed. Some things his system just couldn't deal with... two Rankos, one with long hair and markings on her forehead another with shorter hair, locked in a passionate embrace was one of them.  
Ranko took a moment to glance at Ryouga, then glanced back at Ranma who she realized belatedly was now her height and another gender entirely... she found her own face smiling sheepishly at her, "You can let go of me now, Ranko..." Ranma said in her voice.  
She gave Ranma another catty smile, "You know... I really must tell you that changing into me isn't going to stop me from doing this... I mean I know that body pretty well, if I do say so myself..." she rubbed up against him a bit more pushing their chests together and giving Ranma some rather interesting new and surprisingly pleasurable sensations to process...  
Ranma's eyes widened in panic, "You wouldn't... not with another girl..!"  
"Try me," Ranko replied with a grin, running a moist wet tongue across her lips, "I know it's still you in there... just because you're me now doesn't stop me from feeling what I do about you..."  
"But I don't feel the same about you!"  
"That's why I intend to teach you, right?" Ranko murmured, gently pulling Ranma towards her...  
"But Akane..!"  
"One chance, Ranma... just give me one chance and I can guarantee you'll forget her..."  
"Ranko-sempai! There you is! Mousse-sempai ready for next run-through... Ai-yah!" Shampoo stopped short when she noticed the two. Her eyes widened and she blushed, hiding quickly behind her clipboard, "So sorry to interrupt..! If want kiss-kiss go ahead, no mind Shampoo!"  
Ranko rolled her eyes and sighed, "Always these interruptions..."  
"Erhm... we'll be right there, Shampoo." Ranma answered.  
"Who you?" Shampoo said peeking out from behind her clipboard with a curious expression on her face, "And where Ranma-sempai?  
Ranma started to reply, "I'm... um..."  
"Shampoo, I'd like you to meet my twin..." Ranko said shifting slightly. She still had an arm around Ranma's waist, and gestured at the transformed Saotome with her other hand resting playfully on Ranma's shoulder. She grinned. It wasn't a lie at all... Ranma was currently Ranko's twin.  
"I'm... uh..." Ranma glanced down at the unconscious Ryouga and quickly grasped at the first name which popped to mind, "Ryou-er... Ryouko... yeah that's it. I'm Ranko's twin, Ryouko... heh... heh..." she laughed nervously.  
Shampoo looked relieved and she smiled at the two of them, "Oh, so very happy to see you two very... er... very close sisters. Very close... um... what happen to Saotome-sempai and why you in his costume?"  
Ranko smiled smoothly and replied, "Ranma had to go to the bathroom. He didn't want to wrinkle the costume..." she nodded at her twin, one hand sliding slowly down Ranma's back...  
"Oh, Shampoo make you put it on first so it no wrinkle! Shampoo see now. I go tell Mousse-nisama you be ready in little while is okay?"  
Ranma smiled nervously, "Yeah... er that's it..."  
Shampoo nodded and smiled as she walked away, "Ai-yah... need find Natsume too..."  
Ranma pulled away quickly from Ranko, his body shifting quickly back into his male form, filling the uniform out, "Ranko, please stop doing this! I'm not interested!"  
Ranko laughed, "That's not what your body keeps telling me..." she kissed her fingers lightly and pressed them to his lips, "A little reminder... come on, we've got a show to put on..." She grinned as she walked away.  
Ranma sighed in relief... he wished she wouldn't keep doing this... his nerves were frayed to the breaking point. He'd had to deal with this sort of behavior all through out the practice, but for some reason she was being especially aggressive tonight... he hoped with all his might that it wouldn't continue. Save for that tiny part of him kept hoping it would...

Ryouga collapsed onto the mat backstage, exhausted... it was already four in the morning, and he'd wasted precious minutes of rest just looking for the damn mat... Mousse had been utterly merciless, practicing them over and over all because of Saotome constant slip-ups!  
He curled up quietly hoping to get more than a few hours of sleep... he'd be needing it...  
Natsume smiled from the curtain as she watched Ryouga slip into sleep. Ryouga's mat was in a fairly isolated corner, far from everyone else. Everybody else had collapsed in various other parts of the auditorium, except Ranma and Akane who were still going over their lines in Ranma's dressing room... no interference there. She moved very quietly towards the mat and lay down next to Ryouga. She felt that she was being uncharacteristically bold... sleeping next to him... but it was so hard to resist a chance like this!

Mousse blearily inspected the equipment that would lift Ranko up and fly her off the stage for the big finale... it looked to be in good shape, even though the equipment was old and they did have to borrow it off of the drama club. They had been up the whole night and they had yet to complete a faultless run through. It was already nine in the morning, everyone having barely managed to catch two or three restless hours of sleep. Mousse was really feeling it...  
Once more all of the kissing scenes had been muffed... those were to be their major selling point and they hadn't gotten them right once! Not once. A stumble here... a slip there... always just short of total liplock! It was almost enough to make him take his beret off and jump up and down on it...  
Shampoo ran up to Mousse with a worried look on her face, cutting through his musings, "What's the matter, Shampoo-chan?"  
"Mousse-sempai! Sayuri say she no can go on as samurai's wife! Have bad-bad headache! Can barely move... Kisaragi-kun take her to infirmary."  
"She what?! She can't do this to me!!! Not now! We need a replacement!" Mousse looked frantic. His eyes narrowed behind his glasses and he stared at Shampoo, "There's no help for it, Shampoo-chan! You'll have to go in her place!"  
"Ai-yah!" shampoo blushed, "Mousse-sempai too-too believing in Shampoo. No can do that, Mousse-sempai! Shampoo not same dress size as Sayuri-san. Also Shampoo have very bad stage fright! No can do!"  
"But who else can we get?! We picked Sayuri because she was as tall as Ran--"  
"Ryouga you total jackass! How could you?!" A voice screamed from backstage.  
Another voice called out, "Alright you little... what do you think you're doing?!"  
"What's going on back there?" Mousse demanded as he stormed off in that general direction.  
Shampoo shrugged and ran after him...

Ryouga stirred, still half asleep... he couldn't feel his right arm... not so good... last time that'd happened, it was because he'd gotten into a particularly nasty fight... unfortunately, he didn't recall fighting anyone, so that was out. There was another odd sensation... he hadn't had this particular one in a while... there seemed to be something warm and soft pressed against his side... and on his chest... was... that's a hand. No... wait... that's two hands... Soft slender hands... the last time he'd felt this... was a few years back... when Ukyou was still his fiance...  
He sighed happily... she'd forgiven him... he was sure of it... he swung his other arm around so he could hold her properly in his arms... he was content. There was the sweet scent of her shampoo... hmmm... since when did she start using that brand... and she seemed a bit... taller than she used to be...  
Nevertheless he was luxuriating in the warm happy glow of this close contact... just as the voice screamed in his ear and totally ruined the tender mood...  
"Ryouga you total jackass! How could you?!"  
Ryouga's mind, still only operating at half capacity, (which given his full capacity really wasn't all that much to work with) tried to process this. That was Ukyou's voice. It was her angry voice. The one she used when she was mad at him. Why would she be mad if she was lying next to him? The voice didn't come from next to him... this did not compute. His brain still not entirely willing to give up the remaining portion which was asleep decided to consult with the other senses... in this instance... the one most necessary appeared to be vision... hence... eyes... open...  
Hair. Long. Brown. Ponytail... Matched with Ukyou's... wait! That's not her face. Conclusion? Not Ukyou.  
He wasn't hugging Ukyou. That snapped the rest of his mind into action.  
The actual Ukyou was standing off to one side, in a righteous fury. In her hands the gigantic spatula... the sound of the shout had also attracted other attention...  
Ranma and Akane burst out of his dressing room looking mildly disheveled. Other members of the team who saw that quietly took note... Ranma saw just precisely WHO was in Ryouga's arms and charged forward, cracking his knuckles, "Alright you little... what do you think you're doing?!"  
Akane merely had a surprised and sad look on her face, "All this time I thought he was still in love with Ukyou..." she murmured.  
Ryouga looked at the furious faces gathering around him... and the numerous curious ones... this... did not look good. It did not look good at all. He took a second look at the girl he was embracing. Her face hadn't changed at all. It was still Natsume.  
"This is not what it looks like!" He cried holding one arm out as if to ward them off, "This is SO not what it looks like!"  
Ukyou and Ranma asked simultaneously, "And what is it then, hmmm?!?!"  
Ranma cracked his knuckles individually, each one like a rifle crack, around him a pale blue aura was beginning to form... most people took note of this as well and backed off... Akane stared at it in surprise... no human should be able to do that...  
Ranko peeked in on the gathering and grinned at the sleeping Natsume, "Whoo! You go girl!"  
Akane turned to glare at Ranko.  
Natsume gave a small happy moan in her sleep as she pulled Ryouga even closer, pressing her chest into his side... people looked to one another and all agreed. This did not look good for Ryouga at all.  
This was precisely the scene as Mousse and Shampoo popped into view.  
"What's going on here?" Mousse demanded.  
"Ai-yah!" Shampoo blurted, murmuring to herself, "There whole lot of love on this production..."  
"I'm going to kill you!" Ukyou screamed at Ryouga.

Mousse stepped in front of the enraged woman and said hurriedly, "You can't kill him! We still need him for the performance!"  
"Okay... fine..." Ranma muttered darkly, his aura flickering brightly around him, "We finish the performance, THEN Ukyou and I rip his lungs out."  
Mousse smiled at Ranma, "An excellent notion, Saotome!"  
"Mousse you traitor!" Ryouga called out from his, let's face it, comfortable position.  
Mousse shrugged at Ryouga, "Sorry, Hibiki-kun."  
Shampoo looked quite worried, "But if we no find person to replace Sayuri we no can put up performance anyway!"  
"There is that." The bespectacled man conceded.  
Ukyou smiled coldly, "Does that mean we can rip Ryouga's lungs out now?"  
"What happened to Sayuri?" Akane asked.  
Shampoo replied, "She have bad-bad headache. No can perform."  
Ryouga, it must be noted was trying to get himself away from Natsume without waking her... it wasn't working...  
Mousse eyed Ukyou myopically, "Say... Kuonji-san... you're about Ranma's height, aren't you?"  
Ukyou gave Mousse a strange look, "Yes?"  
Mousse peered closer at her, adjusting his glasses. His gaze resting specifically on certain frontal portions of her anatomy, "And I'd venture about a 34 B..."  
Shampoo blushed and gave Mousse a thump on the back of the head with the clipboard, "Mousse-sempai look like pervert doing that!"  
Ukyou gave Mousse a quick annoyed whack with her spatula, "What does that have to do with anything?!"  
Mousse grabbed onto Ukyou's ankles, "Please! You have to take Sayuri's role! You'll fit right into the costume and you've been here every night! She's only got two lines! Please!!!"  
Ukyou only gave a startled cry. Ranma blinked in surprise at that, his aura guttering out.  
Shampoo thumped Mousse repeatedly with the clipboard, "Mousse-sempai! Show some dignity!"  
"Wha..? Me? But I..." Ukyou struggled to free herself of Mousse.  
"PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASE!!!!"  
Ryouga frowned slightly, "Hey! Sayuri's role is as Ranma's wife in the early part of the play isn't it?"  
"Yeah it is." Ranma answered.  
"No way!" Ryouga shouted in a jealous rage, "I forbid you from taking that role!"  
"It's just a play, Ryouga... what are you getting so jealous for?" Ranko murmured playfully. "Worried he's going to charm her permanently away from you?"  
"I'm not jealous!!" Ryouga shouted at her.  
Ukyou's eyes narrowed, "You forbid me?" She stomped towards Ryouga dragging the unresisting Mousse along, "YOU? Forbid... ME? You haven't got any right to do that you jackass! We aren't engaged anymore! If I want to take the role, I'll take the role!"  
"Um... maybe forbid was too strong a term to use?" Ryouga tried weakly.  
Mousse muttered from her ankles, "Please say you'll take the role..."  
"I'm taking it," She shouted at Mousse stomping back to Ranma and linking her arm with hers, "Choke on THAT Hibiki!"  
"Erhm?" Ranma managed.  
Akane cleared her throat and took Ranma's other arm, giving Ukyou a quizzical look. Ukyou merely continued to glare at Ryouga.  
Ranko stepped quietly behind Ranma and whispered in his ear, "Mmmm... my aren't we popular Saotome.  
Natsume yawned awake at about this point and was surprised to find herself and Ryouga surrounded, "Oh... um... this is awkward..."  
Mousse hopped to his feet, grinning madly, "Excellent! Now that everyone's up we can do another run through and hopefully we'll get it right this time!"  
Everyone groaned in unison.

"Very well, you little thieves!" Natsume proclaimed in a laughing voice, "I will allow each of you to take one item from my jewelry box, but only one." She continued holding up a finger.  
"Very well, mother." Ranko said airily, "Ahh... what is this?"  
"It appears to be a golden comb..." Akane replied.  
Ranko suddenly put her hands to her hips, "Ahh... feh. Who are we kidding?"  
"Ranko! Stop breaking out of character!" Akane snapped at her.  
"The guys in the props department still haven't found something for us to use as a golden comb." Ranko sighed, "This is kinda pointless."  
"We may as well keep practicing you know. We've only got a few more hours til curtain and I'm sure they'll come up with something." Ukyou replied from the corner. Natsume looked thoughtful for a moment and seemed as if about to say something.  
The four women were in Akane's dressing room going over their lines one last time. After the third muffed run-through Mousse had told them rather despondently to go off and get some rest. They were already in costume and doing their best to go over their lines. The rest of the cast had gone off for some lunch, but the paper plates bearing remnants of okonomiyaki scattered about the dressing room were all that remained of the four women's meal.  
"I don't know... my heart isn't exactly filled with confidence, with Mousse in charge of this thing." Ranko sighed.  
"Or Ryouga..." Ukyou muttered darkly.  
"Ukyou-nesama, I know you and Ryouga-sama had some problems in the past, but is it really fair to stay angry at him for so long?"  
Ukyou tsked at Natsume, "If we hadn't cleared up your sleeping next to him sooner, I'm not sure what Ranma and I would've done to him."  
Natsume's eyes glazed over a slight goofy smile on her face as she clapped her hands together, "But he's such a handsome and honorable guy, how could you..."  
"You didn't get left at the altar by him." Ukyou snapped at her.  
"Are you jealous?" Natsume asked, eyes narrowing slightly. "Is that what it is?"  
Akane stepped between the two, holding her hands up, "Hold it! Wait, this bickering isn't getting us anywhere, besides I thought we had it all sorted out, nothing happened."  
Ranko smirked, "True enough, but there's a lot that can happen with... ahem... nothing happening."  
"What're you..?" Akane started.  
Ranko sidled up to Natsume, putting an arm around her shoulders playfully, "So... did you at least get a kiss off of him? Or get a nice long feel of those muscles..? Or maybe..." she whispered something into Natsume's ear.  
Natsume's eyes widened, "Ranko! What a thing to say!"  
"Honestly!" Akane sighed at Ranko.  
Ranko grinned at Ukyou, "Perhaps a learned opinion over there? How DOES Ryouga kiss, Ukyou?"  
Ukyou's face clouded as she folded her arms, "He's not bad a kisser... not as good as Ranm... I mean... um..." she realized what she nearly said and blushed deeply.  
Akane, Ranko and Natsume's eyes all suddenly widened, "WHO?!"  
Natsume bounced over to Ukyou, "You actually kissed big bro?"  
Akane needless to say was in shock.  
A slow catty smile spread over Ranko's features, "You did, didn't you?"  
Ukyou blushed, "Hey! Aren't we supposed to be practicing?!"  
Natsume grinned, "Yeah, but this is more interesting. When was this? Tell!"  
The redhead nodded in agreement, "Well if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but he IS a very good kisser."  
Ukyou and Natsume turned quickly to look up at Ranko, "You kissed him too?!"  
"Mmmm... yes. Full on the lips, at least a full minute, right Akane?" Ranko grinned, turning to look at the now glaring young goddess.  
Akane grumbled something under her breath, "You don't exactly have to brag about it you know."  
Natsume looked puzzled, "But I thought Akane was his fiance?"  
Ukyou, glad that the heat was off her, "I still don't understand their relationship and I've known about the three of them for months..."  
"I am his girlfriend, yes." Akane said in a tight controlled voice, stomping to Ranko, "It's just that SOME people can't seem to control themselves!"  
Ranko laid a hand on her chest and replied innocently, "But he seemed so enthusiastic..."  
"He was fighting for air, you idiot!" Akane snapped back.  
"Which is only distracting us from the original point which was, Ukyou kissing Ranma..." Ranko deflected, smiling at Ukyou.  
"Wait, wait, wait... to think I always thought of my bro as the shy type... well, let's get to Ukyou in a moment, but I guess this means you've kissed him too, right?" Natsume asked Akane.  
"Um... well..." Akane shifted uncomfortably.  
Ranko's jaw dropped, "You mean you two still haven't even kissed after all this time?!"  
"We have. Sort of. Well, I'm not like you okay?!" Akane snapped at her.  
"You've got to be kidding! I heard you were spotted with him walking into a love motel!" Ranko sputtered.  
"No kidding?" Natsume boggled, "Wow, I didn't realize 'Nichan had gotten so... so bold."  
"It's not what you think!" Akane shouted.  
"Yeah it probably isn't," Ranko smirked, "I mean neither of you would dare..."  
Akane continued glaring at Ranko as the red head turned to the blushing Ukyou, "So... about your kiss with Ranma?"  
"Hey, wait! I want to hear about 'Nichan in a love motel!"  
"Fine we'll have Akane tell us later, Ukyou first." Ranko grinned.  
"Er... it's no big deal... we were still in high school, we'd just finished the only real date we ever had then he kissed me goodnight. Actually I kissed him... it was... nice." Ukyou still seemed a bit embarrassed, stealing an occasional glance at Akane, but there was a certain dreamy undertone to her voice as she remembered.  
Akane gave a defeated sigh. She drew a breath, getting ready to say something when the door suddenly burst open and a purple haired woman rushed into the room, "Ai-yah! Still no comb! No one find any golden comb! Mousse say he make play 'Black Hairbrush' and we hope no one notice!"  
"I knew it." Ranko sighed languidly.  
"Ranko-sempai, what happen to twin, Ryouko-sempai?" Shampoo blinked.  
"You have a twin?" the other three girls asked simultaneously. Akane's eyes narrowed, knowing only one possible person THAT could be.  
"She's around..." Ranko replied vaguely.  
"Well if see her, better say Mousse-nisama tell everybody not with varsity go away. Close up backstage."  
"I will if Ryouko shows up again, but I don't think she will."  
"In meantime Shampoo have to go look for comb to use... that or change all signs."  
"Well the play doesn't hinge on the comb right entirely, right..? Akane asked slowly.  
"But is title! Is major plot part! Is too-too important!"  
"Hey, I think I've got something that could fit the bill!" Natsume said after a moment, "Just let me root through my purse if it's still... in... here... aha! Got it!" as she pulled out what appeared to be a small plain-looking and battered metal hair comb, a dull metallic yellow in color.  
"Hey, I recognize that. Didn't Ranma give it to you on your fourteenth birthday?" Ukyou remarked, looking at it.  
Natsume giggled, "Actually, I found it in his sock drawer looking for my gifts."  
"I remember now! He forgot to buy you anything so he let you keep it." Ukyou snickered.  
"He didn't even know how it got in there..." Natsume added.  
"That perfect!" Shampoo said taking the comb in her hand, "Okay, maybe it not perfect, but it close enough!"  
Ranko blinked in surprise as she stood up next to Shampoo peering at the comb, "Hey, Akane! Doesn't this thing remind you of that thing we used to have when we were kids?"  
"What thing?" Akane asked, perplexed.  
"You used to have a comb like this when we were... I don't know... ten or something? I remember I kept trying to take it away from you."  
Akane moved closer to Shampoo who was still turning the comb this way and that in her hand, "You did? I don't remember."  
"Yeah... I don't remember what happened to it either... I think you lost it somewhere." Ranko said uncertainly.  
"I really don't remember at all," Akane said a small frown on her face.  
Natsume giggled, "That would be funny."  
"What would?" Ukyou asked.  
"What if the comb is actually Akane's but somehow Ranma found it somewhere, then tucked it in his sock drawer, forgot about it and ended up giving it to me?" Natsume smiled.  
"Wow! Big-big coincidence."  
Ranko looked at Akane who traded a confused glance back to her, "Nah... I don't think so." The cousins said simultaneously.  
Ranko shrugged elegantly. At least she hoped it wasn't... the potential implications of THAT would be...  
"Comb look okay. Shampoo borrow it for while Natsume-san?"  
"No problem, Shampoo." Natsume replied.  
"Curtain in hour and half! Everybody make sure make up and costume is ready!" And with that Shampoo left the room, murmuring softly to herself, "Maybe if use metal polish..."  
"Where were we anyway?" Akane asked.  
"Your last line was '...golden comb'," Natsume replied, "Then I say, 'Ahh... how did that get in there?'"  
"Right."

Show time. The house was packed. Pretty much everyone from the university was there. Not to mention quite a number of last minute arrivals when word got out the Ukyou would also be participating. No small number of Office Ladies and other students managed to finagle tickets from scalpers. Suffice it to say they would most likely be surprised if they'd known before hand what Ukyou's actual role was.  
Nabiki was standing just off stage with Mousse. Nabiki was giving him a small, satisfied smile. He simply looked close to collapse.  
"Our final net take, less taxes, expenses, accounting and handling fees..."  
"What accounting and handling fees?!  
"Mine, of course."  
"You never said anything about..."  
"I sincerely hope you aren't thinking of NOT paying me..."  
"Erhm..."  
"In ANY case, here's how much the Varsity made." As she flashed him her calculator where a certain figure had just been tapped onto the screen.  
Even behind his glasses, Mousse's eyes boggled, "That much..?" he whispered.  
Nabiki grinned.  
Mousse returned the grin. Life... was good. And with that befuddled, caffeine-addled grin pasted to his face, Mousse promptly collapsed into a deep sleep.  
Nabiki smiled and slipped a few pieces of papers into Mousse's hand... orders signed by him. Not exactly what he would've said himself, but close enough to suit her. Price paid, she smiled.  
She glanced in Shampoo's direction as the purple haired amazon adjusted her glasses worriedly, running up to Mousse.

Outside the audience was getting restless. Admittedly, it was still ten minutes to curtain time, but the majority of this group was composed of people who weren't exceptionally good at waiting. There were exceptions, of course. Kasumi Tendo for instance, who was seated front row center was engaged in a rather fascinating if one-sided conversation with the people to either side of her. One of who appeared to be asleep. The other looked about ten years old.  
Backstage, people rushed back and forth as last minute preparations were being completed.  
"Who's got my hairpiece?!"  
"What happened to the winch?!  
"Gosunkugi, you're supposed to be OUTSIDE to take the photos!"  
"Who has my facepaint?"  
"Put those away for later!"  
"Flower delivery for Ranko Tendo... flowers for Ranko!"  
"Over here!"  
"Who're they from Ranko?"  
"Oh no, not him again..."  
"Not who again?"  
"Oooh, a bouquet of red roses? These're expensive..."  
"Where's the card?"  
"It was here somewhere."  
"I'd rather not talk about it."  
"Tatewaki Kuno?" a number of voices chorused.  
"Orders from Mousse-sempai!"  
"Last minute script change AGAIN?! Who authorized this?"  
"Who else, sugar?"  
"Use our real names? But why?!"  
"No ask Shampoo, is Mousse-sempai order."  
"Where is he!?!"  
"He sleep. You no interrupt, Ryouga-sempai..."  
Suffice it to say that chaos was a mild, though appropriate, word to use.  
But that was then and this was now. The packed theatre began to darken... and the curtain began to rise.

"Once upon a time," a reedy, yet somber voice spoke, "There were two noble samurai families that served under a powerful daimyo."  
The stage lit up showing two sets, the interiors of two homes with the middle of the stage done up obviously to represent the street. As the lights illuminated the house on the left, Ranma in a resplendent red and black brocaded kimono wearing a rather convincing fake mustache and his ponytail tucked under his collar, sat next to a beaming Ukyou, also in a similar kimono. To the right sat a rather disgruntled looking Ryouga, in a kimono of gold and black, an adoring Natsume clinging to his arm looking quite ecstatic.  
Spontaneous applause broke out among the audience.  
"I believe," Ranma spoke, "I shall visit my old friend Ryouga." There seemed to be a slight angry emphasis on the word 'friend'.  
Ukyou smiled demurely at him, then cast a glare in the general direction of the other house, "Oh, yes. It has been a while since you saw him." Angry emphasis on him.  
Ranma nodded slowly, "Yes... why don't you get some rest, darling. I will just be a moment."  
They both stood, Ranma helping Ukyou up. Ukyou as she stood appeared to be well into the advanced stages of pregnancy, her stomach swollen immensely, looking ready to give birth at any moment. Her earlier posture had hidden it.  
As Ukyou glided offstage, Ranma began to walk towards the other half of the set.  
Ryouga suddenly perked, "Ahh... I think I hear Ranma coming over." His voice was light and perhaps almost cheerful, but his face looked as if it were set in stone.  
Natsume smiled at him and simpered, "Oh, he hasn't been by in so long, but I suppose with his wife's pregnancy he has been quite busy."  
Ryouga's face darkened, "Yes... Ukyou's pregnancy..."  
Ranma finally opened the door to Ryouga's home and strode in, smiling, "Ryouga, how are you my friend?" his smile was fixed but looked ready to fall off.  
"Ranma! How good to see you!" Ryouga said with little enthusiasm, bearing a similar smile.  
"Well... I believe I shall leave you two to talk..." Natsume said rising to her feet. She too was hugely pregnant as she glided offstage.  
The two men stood staring at each other smiling for a long while. Their stares challenging.  
"So... how's Ukyou?" Ryouga asked with false cheer.  
"Oh, she's _wonderful_ the doctor says she could give birth as early as this very evening. And how's Natsume, Hmmm..?" Ranma asked pointedly.  
"She's also well. Our doctor also says she could give birth tonight." Ryouga replied.  
There was a pregnant pause.  
"Well." Ranma said. Their staring match resuming.  
"Well, well." Ryouga replied.  
There was another long pause.

From the audience there were already quite a number of murmurs, "Aren't they supposed to be friends?", "I remember this story, maybe they're trying to add in backdrop?", "What that the samurai Ranma is playing is married to someone the samurai Ryouga is playing is in love with? No way...", "Why not?", "Interesting start...", "Didn't that Natsume look cute?"  
From offstage, Shampoo whispered fiercely, "Say next line!"

"Well," Ranma continued finally, "Seeing as how we've been friends for so long, what do say if we were perhaps to cement the union?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, since our wives are pregnant and could give birth any day now... if one of our children is a girl and the other a boy..."  
"... perhaps we should engage them to be married when the time comes?" Ryouga interrupted.  
"Precisely."  
"I like the idea." Ryouga said unenthusiastically.  
"Let's shake on it." Ranma smiled falsely.  
"Yes." said Ryouga, grasping Ranma's outstretched hand...  
They clasped hands and there were long moments as both their faces strained.

Shampoo finally realized what was going on and called out in a harsh whisper to the two freshmen, "Fade lights!"  
Ranma and Ryouga continued to squeeze each other's hands as the lights dimmed to darkness. There was the sound of feet stomping across the stage followed by two quick whacks and a soft voice with a sing-song Chinese accent muttering fiercely, "Do play right or Shampoo withhold both you pay!"

The reedy voice started again, "And so it came to pass that that very night, a boy was born to Ranma's family who in his pride named the child after himself and a girl was born to Ryouga's family, who was named Ranko.  
The lights turned on again for a moment to depict the two proud fathers, in each of the their homes, smiling as their respective wives held small bundles in their arms... from each bundle small pigtails stuck out.  
"Thus, the agreement that when the boy and the girl were to be betrothed to one another was sealed between the two fathers..." as the voice spoke, Ranma and Ryouga approached each other, bearing happy smiles that didn't reach their eyes, bowed formally to each other.  
"As a bride price and a gift to seal the betrothal, Ranma gave to Ryouga's family, with all due pomp, a beautiful golden comb."  
At this Ranma said, "Here ya go." And flipped a glittering golden object into Ryouga's hand who glared at him. There were brief titters from the audience. From offstage Shampoo gave an agonized groan.  
Ranma with an arm around Ukyou's shoulders walked off stage. Their heads low. Ryouga's face was impassive as he stood next to Natsume, who was still holding the little bundle with the red pigtail.  
"And many years passed and things changed." The voice continued, as the curtain dropped...  
From behind the curtain were a number of muffled cursings and rattlings. As the curtain rose again, Ryouga's home was now center stage, around it were what appeared to be gardens.  
The lights illuminated Ryouga sitting happily at a dinner table, next to him was Natsume. Their hair appeared lighter colored, Ryouga's hair was shot through with silver.  
"Ryouga prospered and his family grew by one more after the birth of a second daughter, Akane."  
Ranko and Akane walked onstage. Ranko skipping merrily along and Akane gliding in with serene dignity. There was loud applause and catcalls from the audience, Ranko taking a moment now and then to wave to them or to wink as someone. Ryouga nodded once and stood up, smiling fondly at the two. Ryouga walked offstage.  
"The two daughters, were so different in temperament that many were amazed that they were sisters. The elder, Ranko was lively, happy and playful, while Akane was the more sedate and calm."

Ranko whispered to Akane, too low for the audience to hear, "What a lie..."  
Akane turned to glare at Ranko. The audience noticed this.

"But despite this, the two sisters were devoted to each other."  
"Mother!" Ranko called merrily out to Natsume, "See what Akane and I have found!"  
Natsume saw the box in Ranko's hands and raised an eyebrow, "Ahh... what have you found indeed. If I did not know better, I would say that that is my jewelry box." She smiled fondly.  
Akane nodded, "We found it in your room mother and would ask if we could look through it, perhaps for a little something for ourselves?" she asked hopefully.  
"Very well, you little thieves!" Natsume proclaimed in a laughing voice, "I will allow each of you to take one item from my jewelry box, but only one." She continued holding up a finger. Ranko and Akane set the box down onto the table, opening it eagerly.  
"Very well, mother." Ranko said airily, "Ahh... what is this?" as she held up the golden comb.  
"It appears to be a golden comb..." Akane replied in a surprised tone.  
"Ahhh... I thought that had been long since lost! I'm afraid not, my daughters, ask for any other item, but not this."  
"Why not, mother?" Ranko pouted, "You said we could have one item, and I believe I like this one."  
Natsume looked down, regret obvious on her face, "That comb has a tragic story attached to it, my daughter. I fear you would not want it if you but knew..."  
"Why not tell us mother?" Akane asked, eyes shining eagerly, "It seems so lovely, how could it have such tragedy?"  
"I will tell you then," Natsume said composing herself, "When Ranko was born, that same night, so too was born the son of one of your father's friends... another nobleman... his son, was betrothed to you, Ranko."  
Ranko's face showed surprise, "Why wasn't I told of this before?"  
"Alas..." Natsume said, continuing regretfully, "Many years ago, before even Akane was born, the family of your betrothed was exiled by the daimyo. There was no explanation given and that nothing had happened to stain their family honor, but it was deemed necessary that they leave."  
"How sad." Akane murmured.  
Ranko held the comb tightly in her hand, her eyes shining, "You mean, there is someone out there who is meant for me? My betrothed is somewhere out there and I not only have never seen him, but will in all likelihood never see him?"  
"I'm afraid so, my daughter." Natsume replied, lightly stroking Ranko's hair.  
The lights dimmed and the spotlight turned on Ranko who sat at the table, still beautifully posed. She gazed longingly at the comb, "I do not know you... I will never know you... and yet... I suddenly feel so incomplete, where once I was a whole, now I am no more than half..."  
Ranko rose slowly to her feet pacing the stage slowly...  
The narrator's voice spoke, "The hours stretched into days... the days to weeks and the weeks to months... Ranko pined away for her unknown betrothed... for sight unseen, she had fallen in love with him and longed to meet him that they could be complete... but still he did not appear, and she knew it was futile, but still she pined for him..."  
The spotlight followed Ranko as she paced the stage, until she slipped into a futon off to one side and lay quietly, the comb still tight in her grasp.  
"Until at last she died of a broken heart. Longing for her betrothed."  
Around Ranko Ryouga, Natume and Akane gathered heads bowed in silence, weeping softly.

From the opposite end of the stage, a bedraggled Ranma, now in tatters, the false moustache gone and his pigtail free lurched slowly across the stage, followed by a second spotlight, just as the first began to fade.  
"Exactly one year had passed since Ranko's unfortunate demise when Ranma appeared, son of Ryouga's friend, the elder Ranma, Ranko's betrothed."  
The stage lit up again, Ryouga alone at the table, watching Ranma warily as he approached.  
"May I help you?" Ryouga asked coldly.  
"Um... sir, my name is Ranma..." Ranma bowed.  
"I had a friend named Ranma once..." Ryouga said thoughtfully.  
"I know, sir. I'm his son."  
"What?" Ryouga spoke, "No... really? What happened to you? You look terrible!" he stood up.  
"I know sir... since my family's exile our fortunes have taken a turn for the worse... both my parents are dead and I am all that is left."  
"I'm sorry to hear that."  
"I.... I came here to honor my father's last wish, sir."  
"And that is?" Ryouga asked.  
"He told me about the betrothal just before he died. I know I don't have much, sir, but I'm willing to work hard and I have a strong back. Allow me to work in your service until such time as I can prove worthy of my betrothed and I will..."  
Ryouga's eyes grew sad as he looked at Ranma, "Oh, my boy... I'm so terribly sorry. You have arrived too late. My daughter has been dead this long year. I'm afraid you have come here for nothing."  
Ranma looked stricken.  
"But if you wish to work for me, I shall be more than happy to accept your service... you are the son of my oldest friend and I couldn't possibly turn you away. Live in my home, work upon my grounds and I shall treat you as you deserve."  
"That is very magnanimous of you, sir."  
"Not at all..." Ryouga replied getting to his feet and clapping an arm around Ranma's shoulders, "Walk this way... how much gardening experience have you had?" he asked as the lights faded again.

"And so it came to pass... Ryouga took the younger Ranma into his service."  
As the lights came up again, Ranma walked around the new set, puttering with gardening tools. Most of the stage resembled nothing so much as a garden. To the left of the stage was a small cottage, open to the audience, which showed a futon and a desk.  
"Because of Ryouga's excellent treatment, Ranma found that he liked his new position in life and worked diligently for his master, tending to the grounds with the utmost care and devotion."  
As Ranma continued to work, Akane slowly walked across the stage... Ranma paused long enough to watch her, a longing look in his eye as she passed, but the narration continued, "He worked for many months, only occasionally catching glimpses of the family as he tended to his duties. His glimpses of the younger daughter Akane he treasured most, though he would scarce admit it to himself. Neither the younger daughter, nor Ryouga's wife was informed of his parentage, and it appeared to please both men."  
"Until one evening. That the family returned late from an engagement..."  
The lights dimmed somewhat and Ranma stood at the side of the stage away from the cottage. A large palanquin, covered and presenting only the silhouette of the three figures inside, was carried across the stage on the backs of several heavyset men... there was a slight flash and a tinkle as some object fell from the palanquin.  
Ranma bent over showing surprise as he picked the item up. The palanquin disappeared offstage and he held up the object which he had taken. It was the golden comb. Once more murmurs passed through the audience as Ranma contemplated it.  
"What's this? Ahh... the samurai's daughter must've dropped it as the palanquin passed." Ranma spoke aloud, "Well, it's late. First thing tomorrow morning I shall return it to her."  
And with that he slipped it into his pocket walked towards the well-lit cabin. He began pantomiming his preparations to go to bed... but as he did, in the darkened garden a figure began moving to and fro among the bushes, obviously searching for something.  
Ranma glanced out in surprise, "What could that be? An intruder? Or perhaps a ghost?" an expression of worry crossed his face just as a sudden loud knock came from his door, the gliding silhouette which had been searching the garden was now sanding next to it, knocking hurriedly.  
"Who is it?" Ranma called out.  
"It is Akane," the figure called out as a spotlight bloomed on her.  
"Lady Akane?" Ranma asked in confusion as he opened his door. She stepped inside looking apprehensively at him.  
"It is so late at night, my Lady, what are you doing up?"  
"Have you found my comb? A golden comb? I must have lost it as we were returning and I must find it."  
"Oh. I did find something... is this it?" as he produced the comb.  
"Yes!" Akane said enthusiastically. Ranma handed it over to her wordlessly, but as she took it in her hands she swooned into his arms.  
Ranma blushed, "L-l-lady, Akane!"  
As her eyes opened a languid smile appeared on her face, her arms snaking up to encircle his neck, "My love... it is you..."  
"M-m-my lady..! This is..!" but before he could complete his statement, she pulled him down into a deep kiss, much to the delight of the audience.  
Ranma struggled briefly in surprise... this wasn't in the script! He thought to himself... but then again he should be enjoying himself... this was Akane... wasn't it... but then he blinked as the kiss ended... he knew that kiss... that particular guilty pleasure...  
To the audience it appeared as if Akane and Ranma clung to each other lovingly. In actuality Ranma was whispering harshly, "Ranko! That's you again!"  
"Mmm... you know me so well..." 'Akane' giggled softly.  
"Where's Akane? You're ruining the scene!" he continued whispering.  
"Ruining, nothing." She smirked, "The audience loves it. Now say your next line..."  
"But where's Akane?!"  
"In the bathroom... door's locked. She'll get out soon." She winked, "Next line, handsome."  
"Er... um... ah... my lady! What's come over you?!" Ranma said in a tight voice, trying to pull away.  
"You are the man who was betrothed to my sister those many years ago, were you not?"  
"I... yes, but how did you know?"  
"My father told me... and I have watched you these many months and the comb is but the last proof I need. I love you..." she said.  
Ranma gaped, "But... you... I..."  
"Please..." she begged, "I would be with you. Thought I know you were promised to my sister, let me fulfil the promise your father and mine made... come away with me..."  
"But my duty to your father... though I have often watched you... and I too have feelings for you. I l-l-lo..." Ranma tried to complete his line with difficulty.  
Shampoo frowned offstage, whispering, "Why Ranma-sempai having trouble saying word? He always get right in practice! What wrong?!"  
Ranko touched her fingers to his lips, silencing him, "Say no more... I know how you feel for me as well my love."  
"I can't leave..!"  
"Would you leave me alone then?"  
"I... I can't.  
"Let us quit my father's home this very night. If you will not then," she smiled slyly, "I shall call my father and scream loudly that you have forced your unwelcome attentions upon my young body... that you tore away at my clothing fully intending to ravage me and take me for your base lusts and savage pleasures." She opened the neckline of her kimono somewhat, exposing a bit of Akane's pale white shoulder to Ranma's view.

A number of men in the audience got nosebleeds... offstage, Ryouga fainted. Shampoo simmered, muttering, "Ai-yah! That not on script either! Why Akane improvising?!"  
"Whoa I didn't know she'd do something like that..." Ukyou murmured back, standing next to Shampoo, "Looks more like something Ranko would do..."

"If... if... whew... if you put it that way, fine then!" Ranma sputtered, "My father had a friend who lived near where we stayed during those years we were away, I figure I could crash there for a while..."

Shampoo's jaw dropped, she muttered, "Now Ranma-sempai improvise!"

The lights dimmed, and the narrator spoke up again, a trifle breathlessly, "Er... yes... So the two young lovers fled Ryouga's estate. And moved into their new home.  
The lights came up again to show Ranma and Akane smiling at each other, Ranma somewhat stiffly. A scene of domestic harmony as 'Akane', now wearing an apron and the golden comb in her hair, smiled lovingly at Ranma.  
"A year passed for the two of them... living as man and wife in all but name. Their love grew by leaps and bounds until they were practically inseparable. But exactly a year to the very day..."  
Ranma glanced out of one window, "Dear? There is a palanquin outside with your father's crest!"  
'Akane' gave a playful smile, "It means that it is time for us to return home, my love."  
Ranma turned to Akane incredulously, "Return? You demanded that we leave and now we simply return? Do you have any idea what he's liable to do to me for running away with his daughter?!"  
'Akane' winked saucily at him, "Do I hear complaining?"  
"Well... not precisely..."  
"Do this one last thing for me, my love. Let us return to my father. It is time."  
"If... if you say so." Ranma said still somewhat confused.  
The stage darkened once more, a spotlight focusing on the palanquin as it made its slow way across the stage. The silhouettes of Ranma and Akane obvious within.

From offstage, Akane stomped loudly next to Ukyou, "Where is SHE?!" she whispered angrily.  
"Akane? If you're here... who's in there?!" Ukyou asked, glancing from the palanquin to the furious Akane.  
"Ranko."  
"Wow, our make up department is good... she looks just like you... but isn't she supposed to be in a later scene?"  
"I will KILL her." Akane muttered.  
"Better not, sugar. Your scene's coming up.  
Akane started, "Ohmigosh, you're right, scuse me..."

As the palanquin reached the other end of the stage, the lights came back on, showing Ryouga and Natsume on the opposite end of the stage, sitting quietly at a table. Ranma looked back into the palanquin, "Why do you not alight? We are here."  
"Not yet," came Akane's voice from the palanquin. "Go ahead, speak to my parents. I shall wait her until you call."  
Ranma gulped nervously, "Are you certain?"  
"Of course..." her hand slipped out from the palanquin and pressed the comb into his hand. "If they do not believe you as you tell your tale, my love, show them this."  
"Provided I have enough time to speak and he does not kill me outright." Ranma replied, which she answered with a wry chuckle.  
He walked calmly across the stage. Behind him, the palanquin slipped away. As he reached the table Ryouga and Natsume were at, Ryouga surged to his feet, a furious expression on his face as he shouted, "YOU!"  
"I'm dead." Ranma muttered loudly enough for the audience to hear.  
Ryouga rushed forward, charging at Ranma, Ranma crouched, preparing himself for the worst, but as Ryouga reached him, he clapped Ranma on the hsoulders and said, "Where've you been? If you were so unhappy serving under me that you needed to leave you could've told me first. I would've given you references."  
"Ahh... er... so you're not mad?" Ranma smiled disbelieving.  
"Why would I be mad? A little disappointed in you perhaps, but not mad. Would you like your old job back?" Ryouga smiled.  
"Bu-bu-bu-but... you're taking this awfully calmly considering I just ran off with your daughter a year ago..." Ranma blurted out.  
Ryouga's face clouded in fury as he heaved Ranma off the ground. Natsume rose to her feet smoothly, frowning slightly, "Please do not make bad jests, Ranma... our daughter has been in bed all this past year. Sleeping so deeply that nothing we've done has been able to awaken her."  
"What? But that's impossible!" Ranma protested, "We've been living together for all of the last year, she told me I had to come back with her here... did you not send the palanquin which fetched us?"  
"We sent no palanquin," Ryouga replied, still holding Ranma up.  
"But it's right there!" as he pointed to the other side of the stage where the palanquin was already long gone, "Hey, where'd it go?"  
Natsume placed an hand on Ryouga's arm, "Perhaps his brain has been addled by his journies, my husband?" Ranma thought she was purring the last word slightly.  
Ryouga frowned a bit, "Perhaps."  
"Honestly! I swear it, she was with me, look!" Ranma said holding up the golden comb, "See? It is her golden comb... I've never seen her anywhere this past year without it."  
Both Ryouga and Natsume's eyes widened in surprise, "It's impossible!" they said at once.  
"What is?" Ranma asked stupidly.  
"But that comb was burried with our firstborn daughter, Ranko... how could you have it?" Natsume said, looking flustered.  
"But this is Akane's comb." Ranma protested.  
Natsume persisted, "That is the comb which was given as a brideprice for my firstborn daughter Ranko... but she died of heartbreak before the groom could come to her...  
Ranma seemed staggered, "She did? But I was to be her groom... my father and Lord Ryouga..."  
"No... impossible..." Natsume seemed shocked.  
Ryouga glowered, "Enough of this foolishness! Follow me, I shall show you!"  
As the lights dimmed, the three were caught in a spotlight as they walked across the stage, they doubled back, the light brightening again to see Akane lying in a futon sound asleep.  
"It is as we have told you. She has slept like this for the past year." Ryouga said in a soft voice which carried over the audience.  
Ranma fell to his knees next to her, "But it is impossible... she was with me the past year..."  
Natsume shook Ranma by the shoulder, "Come with me, young sir... we have disturbed her enough..."  
As the three moved away from the sleeping Akane, the lights dimmed once more, the spotlight returning to the three of them.  
"How can this be?" Ranma asked the parents.  
"We are baffled." Ryouga replied.  
"How could she have been with you and yet sleeping here this whole time?" Natsume added to their questions.  
"Perhaps I can answer that," Akane's voice spoke from out of nowhere. A second spotlight focused on her, coming towards them from the opposite end of the stage, she was dressed in beautiful layered robes, totally unlike her bedclothes.  
"You are awake!" Ryouga said, breaking into a relieved smile.  
"Yes father... and I am afraid I have a great deal of explaining to do to Ranma and to both of you..." 'Akane' (Ranma still wasn't certain if it was the real one or Ranko again but the scene called for Ranko) smiled demurely.  
"Please do." Natsume said.  
'Akane' shook her head once, her black hair becoming red, and long braid cascading down her back from out of nowhere, her features shifted subtly, "I am not Akane, but the spirit of Ranko."

From the audience, gasps and murmurs of awe... after all... this was certainly better effects and make up than they expected.

Ranko smiled lovingly at Ranma, "I'd loved him from even before I'd ever laid eyes on him... and I love him even more now, having known him for so long..."  
"But we thought you were dead!" Ryouga sputtered.  
"I was and I am." Ranko replied, "But I made a contract. That I be allowed one year to return to this world from the next that I could spend it with the man I loved..."  
"But why did you look like Akane?" Natsume asked.  
"I could not allow anyone to know who I was, not even my beloved..." as she stroked Ranma's face gently. Her eyes shining with emotion.  
Ranma couldn't help but swallow involuntarily... she isn't just acting... she really means it, he thought.  
"So I struck a deal with my sister... that I would borrow her face and form. For the one year I would spend on this world..."  
"So... all this time... I was with you..?" Ranma asked in a dumbfounded tone.  
"Yes, my love. But now my time is up... and I must return." Ranko continued, "I have loved every moment that we spent together, Ranma. Every single one. I do not regret this past year.  
"But..." Ranma felt odd... almost as if she trully were speaking to him. And not merely acting out her role... she couldn't be THAT good an actress... could she?  
"I have two last requests," Ranko said to Ranma, "I ask you not to mourn for me but to remember me only with happiness."  
"Yes." His voice choking involuntarily. He was surprised to find tears rolling down his cheeks.  
"Second, I wish for you to marry Akane when I have gone. For while I shared her face and form, she has also shared my feelings and thoughts... she loves you too. As deeply as I."  
The three stood mute. A palpable silence had descended on the audience as Ranko slowly lifted up, floating perhaps a foot above the stage.  
Ranko turned to Ranma, leaning towards him and kissing him gently on the lips, "Four, Ranma. Four stolen kisses," she whispered to him, no one else hearing, "Each sweeter than the last... how I'm going miss you."  
"Ranko..." Ranma called out softly, his voice little more than a whisper.

From offstage the two freshmen in charge of the winch gave the awed, though approving Shampoo a tap on the shoulder. She turned to them and whispered, "Ai-yah! Why you two not at winch?! What if Ranko have go up more?!"  
"That's what we came here to tell you! It broke down, the winch doesn't work!"  
"So how Ranko flying?" Shampoo asked, turning to look back at the stage.  
Everyone else merely watched.

"Goodbye." Ranko said softly, spreading her arms, her body limned in light, which cut through the audience.  
All anyone could do was watch.

From the audience Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh my... this is much too early!"  
The little girl with the long black hair in the charming black dress next to her simply smiled sweetly, "Looks just right to me..."  
From the wings, Nabiki signalled to Kasumi frantically, "It's too soon!" she mouthed.  
Kasumi could only shrug helplessly and watch in wonder.

There was a final bright burst of light that caused everyone to sheild their eyes as Ranko vanished from sight.  
Ranma, Ryouga and Natsume, stood on stage, staring blankly at the spot where she had vanished. Ryouga murmured desperately to Ranma, "Was that in the script?"  
"How'd she do that?" Natsume whispered to them.  
As the lights brightened again and Akane stepped close to the group, "Hello, everyone. Hello, Ranma." She smiled tentatively.  
"Akane... that is you, right?" Ranma asked uncertainly. He didn't understand what was going on.  
Akane nodded, moving towards him. "Yes..." there seemed to be a subtle change to her. He couldn't place it for certain, but somehow... he shook his head clear as he and Akane met in an embrace.  
"Um... this is yours, I think." Ranma said to her, pressing the comb into her hand. Her eyes lit up in recognition. There was a feeling... a curious sensation as if everything in the universe had suddenly gone 'click' as the pieces all slid into place.  
She grasped it tightly in her hand and looked up into his gray eyes, her voice a whisper, "I love you."  
Ranma stood in shock... he stared at her face, the face that had become so dear to him that he knew it better than his own, every line, every feature, from her goddess markings to her beautiful eyes... he knew for certain she had meant that. He knew to the depths of his soul that this wasn't acting. This was real. That was truth. The rock hard foundation of his entire existence, "I love you." He whispered back, with complete certainty.  
They simply stood for a moment, eyes locked, savoring the closeness and intimacy despite the audience. Everyone else had ceased to matter, there was only the two of them. Ranma leaned his head down. Akane lifted her lips to his.  
They kissed.  
The long months of fear and uncertainty and hesitation forgotten.  
All that they'd gone through together... all for this moment.  
The years of waiting ended.  
Time stopped.  
And then time roared anew as the applause broke out simultaneously everywhere.

Kasumi joined in the applause, but there were tears in her eyes... beside her the little girl had vanished... thought the curtain slowly began to come down on Ranma and Akane's kiss... Kasumi knew with absolute unshakable uncertainty that the final curtain was still to come.

To be concluded...

Author's notes:  
Well folks here we are after a ridiculously long absence. A new chapter of THG. And what's even better is that things are finally drawing to the momentous climax. This particular chapter is still kind rough in a lot of places despite the fact I started writing this in October of last year, there's a lot of bits that could use serious improvement. Particularly the 'play' scenes. I'm also thinking to add in more scenes during the earlier parts showing them rehearsing their lines. So any comments would be a big help.  
Also, though the story is coming to a close, it doesn't mean that this universe will have to die... after all, I've always thought of That's 1/2 My Goddess as being the OAV for a long running manga. While it tells the story, it leaves a lot out that could still be told. For instance, I never did get around to writing about Kodachi's plots... or Tatewaki Kuno's actual relationship with Ranko... Plus the various little hints I've placed throughout the story regarding Mousse and Shampoo and who is really in love with whom... or about Ukyou, Shampoo, Ranko and Akane's night out... and even the particular story where most of the cast gets turned into various animals due to a botched spell. I may yet write these as separate side stories, or perhaps I'll farm them out to someone, but that's still in the future since I'd need to finish part 10 itself before this series is officially over.  
Who knows when THAT will happen? ^_-


	10. Chapter 10

**That's 1/2 My Goddess Part X:  
Of The Truthful End And A Dreamt Beginning...  
**  
Goddesses as a rule do not dream. All of the  
subconscious processing of the day's data which is  
dreaming is done far more efficiently and without the  
need for images while a goddess rests. So one might  
think that it was most curious that Akane, who was  
dozing lightly, would dream. Or were they dreams?  
Ranko was speaking to Ranma on the stage. Akane  
was in the wings. The comb. The golden comb. The  
memory of it was returning to her. Things made  
forgotten. Not by time, but by someone else. She HAD  
given it to Ranko. Before. When they were so much  
younger. Before things had changed between them and  
they began to fight. But why? Why had she given her  
something so precious? Loneliness? Sadness? Her  
sadness? Ranko's? Akane's?  
Ranko was proclaiming her love to Ranma,  
casting secret, furtive glances at Akane. The  
audience moved slowly to tears as Akane watched the  
two, her heart grew heavier with every word. She does  
love him. See how fiercely she loves him? It shone  
like a beacon. She couldn't possibly hope to match,  
could she? She would give him up because it would  
make him happy. She remembered. Her intrusion. She  
had stolen him away from her. It was wrong.  
Ranko rose slowly into the air. The twisting,  
hidden runes she was weaving around herself were  
plain to any of the divinities. The Rite of Recall.  
The spell to open a gateway, a portal for home. To  
return to the heavens. It was time enough. Time to  
accept what was. But it did not feel right! She loved  
him! She could not surrender! Akane reached out  
trying to call her cousin back to her. To him. She  
would give him up. She would accept. It was not right  
for the one who stole him away should win.  
The thoughts raced through her mind even as she  
felt her heart begin to break. Only the one who would  
be right for him should stay. It was not her. She did  
not deserve him. Not after she had hurt her so. It  
was her.  
Next to her a pretty little girl, with long  
black hair and wearing a black dress nodded  
approvingly. The light began to fill the stage. The  
light of heaven spilling out as the gate was opened.  
The little girl, a black balloon in one hand, took  
Akane's hand in the other and spoke to her  
cheerfully. It's time. Your wish is granted. On the  
little girl's forehead a symbol like a V began to  
glow black. It was familiar. She was familiar too.  
Ranko, bathed in the fraction of a second of  
white light as she rose, slowly turned to look at  
them. Her mouth was open in surprise as things  
changed. The balloon in the little girl's hands  
growing incredibly larger, moving to eclipse her  
light... A goddess' wish was granted. A goddess' wish  
was fulfilled. The price to pay is... the one to pay  
would be...  
Akane snapped awake with a start. Ranma turned  
to her, worry plain on his face as she gave him a wan  
little smile, forcing those thoughts from her mind.  
It was just a dream, she told herself. A strange  
nonsensical dream. She knew it was a dream though  
she'd never had any before. She didn't have time to  
dwell on such things. She was with her love and that  
was all that mattered. She placed her hand over her  
heart, feeling its beat slow as her tension fell  
away. Ranko, she knew in her heart, was fine. Perhaps  
it was just worry.  
Ranma drove his van at a leisurely pace  
homewards, savoring the companionable silence with  
Akane. The roads weren't too congested and it was  
actually a fairly easy drive back home. It was only  
early evening, the sun just finishing its descent and  
the first few stars were starting to become visible.  
The play had done extremely well. The standing  
ovation was well deserved he added idly, considering  
all of the hard work they'd all put into it. The only  
item of concern was that the audience, or at least a  
third of it, nearly rioted when Ranko failed to show  
up for her curtain call. Fortunately Ranma was quick  
thinking enough to duck quickly behind the curtain,  
apply some eyeliner to his cheeks and forehead and  
pretend to be Ranko to take her bow for her. Where  
HAD she gone? The way she'd spoken to him, it sounded  
as though she didn't expect to ever see him again. He  
frowned slightly. There was a time when that news  
would've made him happy to no end. But now... now, if  
she had been telling the truth, he realized he'd miss  
her. He'd miss her a lot.  
Trying to shake his growing melancholy mood, he  
glanced over to Akane. She returned his look, smiling  
lovingly at him. She extended a hand, gently  
caressing his cheek. He smiled back, kissing her  
upturned palm lightly.  
"What's the matter, Ranma?" she asked lightly.  
Ranma replied with a shrug, "It's nothing... I  
was just wondering where Ranko went. It's not like  
her to miss a chance to take a bow in the spotlight  
and flirt with a couple hundred guys all screaming  
her name. She would've loved it." He mused.  
Akane giggled lightly, quickly suppressing the  
worrying thoughts that were suggesting themselves,  
"I'm sure she's fine. She's probably home by now."  
Ranma blinked at her curiously, "Do you think  
so?"  
Akane leaned over to him and kissed him  
playfully on the cheek. "Don't worry about it. She's  
fine. You'd better keep your attention on me or I may  
get upset," she added with a saucy wink.  
"Um..." Ranma blushed slightly, still a little  
uncomfortable at how quickly their relationship had  
changed. She seemed so different now. So much more  
flirtatious. So much less tentative and more sure. He  
found he rather liked her like this.  
"How about I keep my eyes on the road for the  
time being?" he replied weakly.  
She laughed lightly, "Good idea. Then you can  
pay attention to me when we get home." She kissed the  
line of his jaw this time.  
He couldn't help but grin, glancing towards  
her. Her face was very close to his.  
"If that's what you want," he said.  
She nodded, a playful and almost... hungry...  
look on her face, "You'd better believe it. I want  
you to pay very close attention to me." She added  
softly, "To... all... of me."  
Ranma blinked in disbelief at her. Was that an  
invitation for..?  
She lightly ran her tongue along her lips.  
"Take us home?"  
He stared into her eyes for a long moment.  
Those loving, hungry eyes. His throat felt dry and  
his palms were getting sweaty at the wheel. Without  
another word he turned his full attention back on the  
road and floored the gas.

"No, I will not hold." Nabiki spoke into the  
phone in a cold, imperious tone. Light touches of  
frost were forming on the receiver, "You DO know who  
I am, don't you? I expect to be accorded the proper  
respect even on the phone, now what are you NOT  
telling me?"  
Kasumi looked at Nabiki in slight reproof and  
asked gently, "Nabiki... that's no way to speak to--"  
Nabiki put her hand over the phone and gave  
Kasumi a mildly exasperated glance. She spoke in a  
cool, restrained tone, "This uppity little third  
class goddess is trying to put me... ME of all  
people... on hold." To those who knew her, that very  
tone would've been indicative of just how incredibly  
irritated she was. But underneath even that was her  
growing uneasiness.  
Kasumi looked slightly puzzled and moved next  
to her sister, "How peculiar. Let me try speaking to  
them..." as she extended her hand for the receiver.  
Nabiki shrugged and handed it over to her. Kasumi  
spoke softly into the phone, murmuring something  
sympathetic to whoever was on the other end of the  
line. As she spoke, she nodded every so often before  
replying. Within a few moments she had a very tiny  
little frown on her normally placid face. The first  
time that had happened in recorded memory.  
She put the receiver very carefully back into  
its cradle and said in an even softer voice than  
usual, "Oh my."  
Nabiki blinked at her, "It's that bad?"  
"Worse," Kasumi answered.  
"We're home!" Ranma's voice called out from the  
front door.  
Nabiki bounced lightly to her feet, "We'd  
better tell them what's going on."  
Kasumi nodded her head gently, "Oh my, yes.  
This has gotten quite out of hand."  
"Now there's an understatement." Nabiki  
commented wryly.  
Ranma strode into the room, still holding  
Akane's hand. He paused for a moment and noticed the  
mood the other two goddesses were in and asked, "Hey,  
what's going on you guys?"  
"Have either of you seen Ranko since the play?"  
Kasumi asked them.  
Akane shook her head, "No... she was opening a  
portal wasn't she? Wasn't she coming here?"  
"Portal?" Ranma asked.  
Nabiki replied, "Those were the motions and  
sigils for a gateway to heaven. She was going home."  
"When we arrived here, all of her belongings  
were gone." Kasumi added.  
Ranma gaped in surprise, "Did anyone know she  
was leaving?"  
All three goddesses shook their heads.  
Ranma frowned slightly at Akane, "So when you  
said she was going home you meant... um..." he  
pointed upwards, "Home as in heaven?"  
"I wasn't sure!" Akane replied defensively.  
"There's more." Kasumi spoke.  
Nabiki continued, "It seems Ranko didn't make  
it back to heaven..."  
Ranma asked, puzzled, "How do you know?"  
"If she were there, we would feel it. All of us  
would." Kasumi replied.  
Akane nodded in agreement. She asked, "So where  
is she?"  
"That's what I'd like to know." Nabiki grumped,  
crossing her arms.  
"Well, I've found out why no one seems to be  
able to help us find her, though." Kasumi said,  
smoothly interrupting Nabiki's pouting, "It would  
appear there's been a system crash."  
"A WHAT?!" Akane reeled.  
Nabiki's eyes widened, "Oh, boy. How bad are we  
talking here? An hour to fix? Two hours?"  
Kasumi shook her head, the tiny, tiny frown on  
her face growing slightly, "More like a week or  
so..." her two sisters stared at her in shock, "Files  
were corrupted, contracts were inadvertently  
severed... they're mobilizing the backups, but  
they're not sure how long it will take to fix  
everything."  
Ranma blinked in confusion, "What are you  
talking about?"  
Akane turned to answer him, "The Yggdrasil...  
the mainframe that runs the universe. Where we draw  
our power from."  
"That's the thing you guys work with, right?  
The thing that holds onto the contracts?" Ranma  
asked, beginning to get a glimmer of the situation.  
His eyes boggled, "That can't be good..."  
"Do they know what caused it?" Nabiki asked.  
Kasumi could only shake her head, "They can't  
even get the diagnostics to make sense...  
everything's in disarray in Heaven. They'd recall us  
if they could get the portals to work right. If the  
records that we're down here even still exist..."  
Ranma asked slowly, "Is that why Ranko's  
missing? All of the... stuff you guys do is cleared  
by the Yb... Yurgd... Clearasi... erhm... that  
mainframe thing right? Maybe it went haywire while  
Ranko was trying to cross, that's why she's missing?  
Or maybe she is there, but you just can't tell  
because everything's so messed up?"  
Nabiki looked thoughtful for a moment, "That  
could be it."  
Akane shook her head, "But what can we do from  
here?"  
Kasumi sighed, "Not much I'm afraid. But we can  
at least try to find her."  
"No system access at all, so we're currently  
just limited to our own power for now." Nabiki mused,  
"Not that much..." She raised an open hand  
thoughtfully as though measuring her own reserves.  
The three goddesses looked at one another and  
began to talk in quick succession, their voices  
overlapping as they discussed possibilities and plans  
using technical jargon well beyond Ranma's  
experience. He backed up a little, seeing that they  
needed to talk this out. He waited until there was a  
break in the conversation before saying, "Look, I've  
got no idea what you guys are talking about, but if  
Ranko's in trouble and I can help, just tell me,  
okay? Any kind of help you need. Anything." Ranma  
said.  
Akane looked sharply at him for a moment while  
Kasumi and Nabiki nodded to him. A puzzled look  
crossed her eyes for a moment as she just stared at  
him.  
Ranma noticed her stare and looked back, saying  
quietly, "Hey... Akane, please... this is no time to  
be jealous... I mean she could need our help, right?"  
Akane shook her head and gave him a faint smile  
on her face, "No... no... I wasn't jealous... just...  
a thought." She leaned over to him and kissed him  
lightly, "Why don't you go get some rest... I think  
my sisters and I are going to be up all night on this  
one."  
"I'll stick around. Maybe make everyone some  
tea. You look like you'll need it." Ranma replied,  
lightly caressing her cheek.  
Kasumi and Nabiki noticed the intimacy the two  
were sharing and paused for a moment. They exchanged  
glances... then shook their heads and returned to  
their discussion. By now the considered angle of  
attack for locating their lost cousin had wandered  
into 12th dimensional variables relating indirectly  
to the derivatives received through Cantorian  
transfinites, in terms of the relativistic placement  
of subclass item 'Goddess', specific item 'Ranko'.  
Which was a fairly simple computation, but Ranma  
couldn't even follow that much.  
By the looks of things, this was going to prove  
to be a long night.

Ranma as a rule, did dream. It sort of came  
with the territory of being human. You sleep, you  
dream. Simple. More often than not he'd forgotten his  
dreams by the time he woke up, but not always. There  
was one particular dream that always escaped him. One  
which he never remembered on waking... The elements  
sometimes got jumbled, but it was usually the same...  
He'd had it for years and never knew. He was having  
it tonight. Considering how strange the day had been  
and how it had ended... and how tired he was, given  
the last few weeks worth of work with the play, it  
was not surprising that he would fall back on what  
was perhaps his most consistent dream. Even one which  
he could never remember.  
Ranma tugged uncomfortably at the ribbon which  
had been wound around his neck in a fair imitation of  
a bow tie. If only it hadn't been pastel pink. He  
fidgeted uncomfortably and kept looking at his feet.  
The ground was a lot closer to his perspective in  
those days. He couldn't have been more than nine and  
he still had a lot of growing to. Somewhere behind  
him he could barely hear someone humming the wedding  
march. The sound was getting closer.  
In front of and before him a harsh whisper  
called his attention, "Hey! Ranma! Quit it! The  
groom's not supposed to take the tie off!"  
He looked up, not quite able to make out the  
person speaking to him. Whoever it was, was tall.  
Much taller than Ranma. The sun was behind the  
person, casting shadows over the face. Ranma could  
make out hair, long and black... maybe the hints of a  
moustache.  
All around them was a wooded area within the  
grounds of a temple near Ranma's home. He played here  
often as a child. There were many fond memories of  
playmates to be found here for him. But never any  
names or faces.  
Ranma pouted at the figure looming over him and  
replied sourly, "But I didn't wanna play this silly  
game in the first place!"  
The figure chided him in a reasonable, though  
playful voice, "Hey, we played tag like you wanted  
yesterday, so now it's our turn to pick the game."  
"But this is the first time I've ever played  
house with someone who wanted to have a wedding  
before they'd play house," Ranma muttered.  
"Hah," the voice replied airily, "She just  
doesn't wanna live in sin that's all. So we gotta  
make it official before we can play."  
Ranma gave his ribbon another savage tug, "It's  
still silly."  
Whoever it was humming the wedding march was  
practically at his side... Ranma glanced in that  
direction and found himself looking at a girl around  
his height, maybe a bit shorter, wearing a neat  
looking red and white dress that flowed around her.  
In her hand she had a random bunch of flowers that  
had no doubt been picked just moments earlier. She  
wore what looked to be an elaborate veil that had  
originally been a shawl. Only a few details could be  
seen of her face, but Ranma knew that he could  
remember that face perfectly if he had to. He could  
tell she was glaring at him through the veil and  
despite himself quickly shut up.  
The taller individual coughed importantly  
producing a huge book from somewhere and said,  
"That's better... let's start it off."  
The girl in the veil nodded and hooked an arm  
possessively around Ranma's arm. He didn't mind at  
all. In fact he liked being near her like this. She  
was nice. Actually so was her cousin. Except when the  
two of them got together and ganged up on him for  
being a boy.  
"'Mostly well liked--'" the person in front of  
them began in a loud voice.  
"That's 'Dearly beloved'!" The veiled girl  
playing the role of the bride hissed.  
"Oops! Okay... okay... um... here we go...  
'Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to witness  
the onion of--'"  
"That's 'union'!" The veiled girl poked the  
other person's knee.  
Ranma tuned out most of the droning voice and  
took a glance around him. The small clearing where  
they were holding their 'ceremony' was peopled by a  
few dolls, some stuffed toys and more surprisingly,  
several robots and action figures. He remembered why.  
They had decided that if it was going to be a  
wedding, there had to be people from the groom's side  
of the family, so his toys got drafted.  
He snapped out of his haze just as the girl  
next to him said, "I do."  
"And do you, Ranma Saotome, take my cousin to  
be your awfully bedded--"  
"Lawfully wedded!" The girl snapped, tugging on  
Ranma's arm.  
The shadows across the taller person's face  
formed into the semblance of a pout, "Geez, if you  
think you can do this better than I can why don't you  
come up here and I be down there saying 'I do'?"  
"Well, you can have your turn tomorrow. Today,  
he's my groom!" the veiled girl replied airily.  
"We gotta do this tomorrow too?" Ranma asked a  
little sourly. He was hoping they'd play tag with him  
instead.  
"Aww... come on, it'll be fun!" The girl said,  
tugging on his arm again.  
"I guess..."  
"Now he's gotta kiss the bride!" The person in  
front of them piped up.  
Ranma erked and backed off, "Hey! Wait! Nobody  
said nothin' about no kissin'!"  
"It's traditional, says so in the book," the  
figure said, holding up the aforementioned book.  
"Ranma!" A voice suddenly called out.  
Ranma blinked in surprise and turned, "Oh,  
man... it's nearly dinner time. That's my mom."  
The voice called his name again, louder this  
time.  
The other two immediately went, "Awwww!"  
"Do you really have to go?" The veiled girl  
asked.  
Ranma nodded sadly, but with just a bit of  
relief, "Sorry guys. How 'bout we pick this up  
tomorrow, okay?"  
"I guess." The figure sighed, "This moustache  
was getting itchy anyway."  
The girl pulled her shawl off her head,  
readjusting it around her shoulders, revealing a  
cascade of unbound shoulder length red hair. "No  
fair, we were just getting to the good bits." She  
pouted.  
The obscured figure, now having lost its  
moustache, jumped off the rock she was standing on.  
The illusion of height was lost as she brushed her  
long black hair back over her ear. "Ranko, he has to  
go eat dinner."  
The eight year old Ranko pulled at her shawl  
slowly and gave a defeated sigh, "I guess, Akane."  
A young Akane beamed at her cousin and put an  
affectionate arm around her, "Don't be so glum."  
Ranma was about to turn and head out when he  
caught sight of Ranko's expression, "Aww... don't be  
like that. Um..." he forced a smile. Well, some  
sacrifices had to be made. He just couldn't bear to  
see Ranko so sad, "Tell you guys what, let's do this  
again tomorrow... and Ranko can kiss me all she  
likes, okay?"  
Ranko brightened up immediately, "Great!"  
Akane rolled her eyes, "Hey, no fair! When do I  
get a turn as the bride?"  
"Um... you get your chance afterwards?" Ranma  
replied weakly.  
"I better." Akane said mock severely, crossing  
her arms.  
Ranko laughed and hugged Akane playfully,  
"Well, you don't get to be a bride unless I get all  
the kisses I want out of him first."  
"But he'll be all kissed out!" Akane protested.  
The two looked at each other then at Ranma,  
"And how do we know you aren't gonna welsh?" they  
asked simultaneously.  
Ranma laughed, "Hey, quit it you two." He held  
up his hand, little finger extended, "Okay, I pinky  
promise both you guys, okay? Ranko gets all the  
kisses she wants and Akane gets to be my bride."  
The two cousins exchanged puzzled looks but  
extended their own hands, Ranko first, then Akane,  
hooking pinkies with Ranma in turn. All the while,  
the voice calling for Ranma was getting louder.  
Ranma grinned, waving to them as he ran out of  
the clearing, coming closer to the voice that kept  
calling his name.  
"Ranma..." the voice repeated. That wasn't his  
mom's voice...  
"Ranma..."  
Slowly, Ranma let himself wake up. He could  
feel something touching his face. Something soft and  
warm was pressed against his body. He was very  
comfortable. Toasty warm in fact, but at the same  
time it also felt oddly... drafty?  
He blinked and found Akane's smiling face just  
inches from his own, her fingers tracing the line of  
his jaw. "Good morning, sleepyhead," she murmured,  
kissing him awake.  
"Good morning, Akane... um... how'd I get in my  
room?" He asked.  
"I dragged you in after you dozed off." Akane  
replied quietly, "I'm not sure, but I don't think  
Kasumi or Nabiki got any sleep."  
Ranma nodded, "I see... um... okay, I hope this  
isn't a dumb question, but why are you in the futon  
with me?"  
Akane smiled pleasantly, shifting slightly in  
his arms, "Well, I was getting tired too when you  
fell asleep... and you looked so cold and lonely in  
here, I decided to keep you company."  
"And... all we did was sleep, right?" Ranma  
asked cautiously.  
Akane giggled, "Yes, silly. Just sleep."  
Ranma nodded and then blushed a bit as he  
phrased the most important question, "So... why are  
we both naked under this blanket?"  
She shrugged slightly, "Well, with both of us  
under here, it was too warm to wear any clothes, so I  
took our clothes off..." she grinned hungrily at him,  
"Besides... I thought you'd appreciate the practice."  
She pressed closer against him, "I really need to get  
you more used to feeling my body against yours..."  
Ranma could feel the heat climbing up his neck  
even before the blush reached his face, "Er... I... I  
guess I can appreciate that."  
"Good." She laughed kissing his nose playfully.  
Admittedly her behavior was definitely  
pleasant, but she seemed a little too eager to be  
with him. This was going just a little too fast, a  
little too suddenly for him.  
Ranma shifted, trying to keep specific parts of  
himself from touching specific parts of her, and  
doing a poor job of it. Worse, there were certain  
inevitable reactions on his part. Desperate to keep  
his mind off of things (his things and her things,  
and the things that could be done with those things),  
he asked, "Have... um... have Nabiki and Kasumi found  
out anything yet?"  
Akane's face suddenly turned serious before she  
replied, "I don't think so, but I just woke up  
myself. Let's find out." She smiled once more,  
bouncing to her bare feet. As she did so, she drew  
the blanket up with her, wrapping it around herself  
toga style. Unfortunately, Ranma who had been sharing  
that sheet with her, found himself exposed rather  
forcibly to the chill morning air by her departure.  
He gave an alarmed yelp and tried his best to cover  
himself up. Akane was at the door when she glanced  
over her shoulder. She paused just long enough to  
take the golden comb she'd worn during the play off  
of the table and use it to pull back her hair. She  
had a grin and a playful twinkle in her eye as she  
gave him a thorough once over.  
He blushed at her unabashed inspection and  
pulled the pillow over to cover himself up better.  
She laughed once as he did so before darting out of  
the door. Ranma shook his head. If he hadn't known  
any better, he thought to himself, he could almost  
have sworn that that was a disguised Ranko... but  
those kisses weren't the familiar ones Ranko stole  
off of him. There were other differences as well.  
Subtle ones. The way she walked. The exact way her  
lip curled when she smiled. The way she breathed.  
Little clues about how Ranko moved and how Akane  
moved that he'd learned over time. He didn't even  
realize how well he'd gotten to know the two of them.  
Or how closely he'd watched them.  
He shook his head clear of those thoughts,  
reaching into his closet for some clothes.  
"Ranma!" He heard Akane's alarmed voice call  
out to him.  
He'd barely managed to slip into his pants and  
grab a shirt before barreling out the door, running  
towards the sound of her voice. He found her in the  
living room, which opened up to the porch which led  
to their garden. On the floor some strange circular  
design had been chalked in during the night. Next to  
that were reams of paper, with precisely neat,  
handwritten notes had been jotted. Kasumi and Nabiki  
were also there, but there was something odd about  
them.  
Kasumi was kneeling, her hands folded on her  
lap and a small smile on her lips. Her eyes were open  
and stared vacantly out into the garden. She was  
almost eerily motionless. She didn't seem to blink or  
breathe. Even her clothing and hair were totally  
unmoved by the slight draft from the open windows. As  
Ranma caught sight of her, he suddenly felt all the  
worry in him just melt away completely. Everything  
was alright... everything was perfectly fine. After  
all, how else could she be so perfectly tranquil if  
anything at all were the matter?  
He blinked in an effort to clear his head and  
tear his gaze away from her. Not quite looking at her  
now, he felt his normal worry and alarm return to  
him, full force. Something was definitely wrong.  
His gaze fell on Nabiki who was standing just  
beside the door. She stood almost, but not quite  
perfectly still. And certainly didn't radiate quite  
the same feeling of calm Kasumi did. If anything,  
there was a definite expression of annoyance and  
exasperation on her face. Akane was standing right in  
front of her, waving a hand in front of her older  
sister's eyes, trying to catch her attention. But  
Nabiki's gaze didn't seem to waver either.  
"What happened, Akane? What's wrong with them?"  
Ranma immediately asked.  
Akane shook her head, she looked shaken. "I...  
I'm not sure. I think the system crash was worse than  
we realized."  
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, moving towards  
her protectively.  
She clung to him, answering his questions with  
a deliberate softness, as though trying to calm  
herself, "The marks on our foreheads? They're not  
just there to help identify our ranks... they help  
control who and what we are. Each goddess is an  
expression of something in nature... we can't help  
but show it... except when the system is helping us  
to regulate it."  
"So..?" Ranma glanced at Kasumi then to Nabiki.  
Akane continued slowly, "Kasumi is Goddess of  
Tranquility... that's probably why she's stuck like  
that. Nabiki is Goddess of Transactions... I don't  
think she can do anything unless someone else does  
something to her first..."  
Ranma looked worriedly at Akane, "What about  
you?"  
She took slow deep breaths before replying,  
holding him close to her, "I'm Goddess of Aggression.  
I think... I think I'd lose my temper repeatedly.  
That or go berserk."  
Ranma gulped nervously. "You... you seem to be  
fighting it okay..."  
Akane answered slowly, "Probably because  
nothing's set me off yet... but if anything...  
anything at all looks like it's going to make me  
upset or angry, promise me you'll get as far away  
from me as you can, alright?"  
He looked at her confused.  
She held him tightly, "I don't want you to be  
hurt. I... I don't think I'd much notice what I was  
doing if I lost my temper at this point."  
He nodded, gently stroking her hair, "I  
promise... but let's just hope you don't get mad  
okay?"  
She smiled tentatively and nodded before  
kissing his cheek.  
They looked at Nabiki again and now both of  
them waved their hands in front of her eyes. There  
was no obvious reaction aside from a half irritated  
eyebrow twitch.  
"What if we talk to her?" Ranma asked.  
Akane glanced at Nabiki and said deliberately,  
"I think she'll be able to talk back."  
Ranma addressed Nabiki. "Can you hear me?"  
"What do you think?" Nabiki snapped, perhaps a  
bit tiredly.  
"Are you okay?" Ranma asked.  
Nabiki asked back, "Do I look like I'm okay?"  
Ranma winced a little, "Hey, there's no need to  
be so sarcastic."  
"I'm not being sarcastic, I can't help it."  
Nabiki replied, practically only her lips moving.  
Akane snapped her fingers, "Oh, that's it."  
"What's it?" Ranma asked her.  
The youngest goddess answered, "Don't ask her  
questions, she's going to answer with questions." She  
turned to Nabiki, "You need to sit down."  
"I do, but I can't," was her reply.  
Ranma was struck by sudden inspiration, then  
dug into his pocket, "I'll give you a hundred yen if  
you'll sit down."  
Nabiki's face broke into a look of intense  
relief as her hand came up snatching the coin. Her  
knees buckled suddenly as she collapsed onto the  
floor. "I accept," she declared with a sigh. Ranma  
could swear he could hear her joints popping as she  
leaned against the wall, sitting inelegantly on the  
floor. She must've been standing there for the better  
part of the night, he thought to himself.  
"I was right about the system crash." Akane  
said to Nabiki, managing to turn the question she had  
in mind into a statement.  
Nabiki spoke wearily, "Yes. Kasumi and I  
managed to set up the portal to get to Ranko... but  
the file corruption got bad enough to affect our  
regulators. We're reverting to base archetypes." She  
looked as though she wanted to say more, but her  
teeth snapped shut, cutting herself off.  
Akane started to frown as she thought. Ranma  
noticed that, edged away slightly. She didn't even  
notice and pulled him against her once more, not  
wanting to let him go.  
"I..." Ranma said to Akane, trying to think of  
some excuse. She looked like she was getting upset.  
Now he had to extricate himself from her without  
upsetting her further. "I just thought of  
something... I'll be right back..."  
Akane looked stricken, "Do you have to?"  
Ranma grinned as he managed to edge a way a  
little, "Ahh... I think I can get Nabiki to keep  
talking. Really!"  
She nodded reluctantly releasing his hand.  
Nabiki seemed to be watching them with a mild  
interested look, but had not moved since she sat  
down.  
Ranma dashed quickly to the kitchen, then back  
with a pitcher of water and a glass. She remembered  
Akane telling him about Nabiki's first arrival to the  
temple. That and considering the fact that the older  
Tendo sister probably hadn't had anything to drink  
all night...  
"Hey, Nabiki," Ranma said, "I'll give you as  
much water to drink as you want. In return, you have  
to talk and move without us prompting you."  
She seemed to mull it over for a moment before  
replying, "Accepted."  
Akane smiled and hugged Ranma, "You're  
brilliant!"  
Ranma smiled back at her, returning the hug,  
"Well, it seemed like the right thing to do."  
Nabiki thirstily drank down her first glass and  
refilled it before rearranging herself to sit a bit  
more comfortably. "Yeah, smart thinking, Ranma." She  
finally said with a breath of relief.  
Ranma looked over his shoulder, then quickly  
looked away before his vision could be caught again,  
"Can we do anything for Kasumi?"  
Nabiki shook her head, finishing her second  
glass, "Not really. We can snap her out of it, but  
not for very long. Trust me, I tried all last night.  
At least up until I couldn't move anymore," she added  
disgustedly.  
Akane asked, "How long have you guys been like  
that?"  
Nabiki looked thoughtfully at Akane as though  
assessing something, "About two hours after you took  
Ranma to bed."  
Ranma blushed.  
The elder Tendo continued, "By all rights,  
Akane, it should've affected you way before now. Do  
you feel any different?"  
Akane shook her head, "No... not really... I  
just thought..." she glanced at Ranma and gave him a  
little squeeze and another smile, "Well, I guess  
Ranma must be keeping me calm..."  
Nabiki looked at them dubiously, "Possible. I  
doubt it, though. Something really weird is going on  
here. Ranko would never have left just like that...  
All of our locator spells keep telling us she's here  
though... Then the system crash happening at the same  
time..." She glanced significantly at her younger  
sister, "And you not being affected by the crash at  
all..." Nabiki peered closely at the pair, before  
adding, "Or are you?"  
"What are you saying?" Akane simply looked  
confused and clung tighter to Ranma for support.  
Behind them Kasumi's spoke in a gentle, near  
inaudible voice. "She's saying they're all  
interrelated. Things are happening in perfect  
synchronicity, all in accordance with someone's  
intentions. It's a lovely harmony, really."  
Ranma turned to look at her, but her face still  
bore no more than a contented smile. He thought he  
could catch a glimpse of her struggling somewhat,  
before the blank, glazed look slid across her eyes  
again.  
"Someone planned this?" he asked incredulously.  
Nabiki nodded, then looked at her pitcher  
meaningfully. "I'm nearly out of water."  
Ranma nodded and took it, "I'll get some more.  
But we need more of an explanation than that."  
When he returned, Nabiki was looking intently  
at Akane once more. The youngest Tendo sibling was  
squirming uncomfortably under her sister's scrutiny.  
As he set the pitcher down, Nabiki reached a hand up  
to touch his and reached a hand out to Akane as well.  
"Well, since you need more of an explanation...  
and you are paying, then I really need to check  
something that's been bothering me. May I?" Nabiki  
asked.  
Ranma nodded. Akane gave him a panicked glance,  
but seeing his assent, she nodded as well, perhaps a  
bit more nervously.  
Nabiki turned her full attention to the two of  
them and closed her eyes as she began to intone, "I  
balance the truth with a lie. I balance a revelation  
by a deception. False face you wear, fall and reveal  
to me the truth I seek. False face you hide, reveal  
yourself."  
There was a swirl of energies as Nabiki spoke.  
Coruscating around both Ranma and Akane. It didn't  
hurt, at most it tingled a little... there was a  
sharp cracking sound, followed by a brief, but  
intense flash of light.  
Ranma blinked his... no... her eyes to clear  
them. He was female again. Her hair now, red and her  
features that of the missing Ranko. "What did you do  
that for?!" She sputtered, her pants almost falling  
off her much smaller frame.  
Beside Ranma, Akane's hair had turned the same  
bright shade of red as Ranko's. In fact... it was now  
past her waist, and braided as Ranko always wore her  
hair, the comb was still there. She reached up,  
feeling the braid, stunned. Ranma couldn't see her  
face, but she seemed totally caught off guard.  
Ranma instinctively took a step back, releasing  
Nabiki's hand as he concentrated, shifting his body  
back to his male form. Where Akane should have been  
now stood Ranko, the sheet wound around her exactly  
as Akane had originally worn it. Ranko looked at  
Ranma, her eyes wide. She looked utterly lost. "How?  
What?"  
Ranma turned sharply towards Nabiki,  
overturning the pitcher of water he'd brought. "What  
did you just do?! Where's Akane?!"  
Nabiki nodded slowly, looking at the still  
confused Ranko. That just confirmed it. "She was  
never here... she's the one that's missing. Not  
Ranko. Ranko was here the whole ti--" she suddenly  
cut off in mid-word as her internal monitor for  
balances caught her. She stopped in place once more.  
"She was WHAT?!" Ranma howled. In a split  
second, he closed the distance between himself and  
Ranko, catching her arm. "You did this? This is all  
your fault again, isn't it?!" He roared.  
Ranko winced, looking fearfully into his  
enraged eyes. "Ranma," she pleaded, "Stop... that  
hurts."  
"What have you done to Akane?!"  
"I... I didn't do anything to her!" Ranko  
whimpered, tears forming in her eyes, "You're hurting  
me..."  
Ranma recoiled, pulling his hand back. Not  
expecting Ranko to look so... so... vulnerable. He'd  
half expected her to dance away from him, laughing at  
the feat she'd just managed to pull. He was even more  
surprised at himself. To lose his composure like  
that. To lose control so totally. Where he had  
grabbed her was beginning to bruise.  
Once released Ranko collapsed to her knees,  
sobbing quietly, holding herself. "It's always my  
fault. Always! Always me. No one thinks little miss  
perfect Akane ever does anything wrong. I don't know  
what happened! I don't know how I got here! It's not  
my fault! I didn't do anything!" she wailed.  
A bewildered Ranma knelt next to her. He  
awkwardly put his arm around her shoulders. "I... I'm  
sorry, Ranko... I just kind of... I lost it for a  
minute..."  
She turned, clutching at him desperately,  
slipping her arms around his bare torso. He could  
feel her tears rolling down his chest. Her voice was  
muffled, but the pain in it was clear, "Sure... it's  
okay for you to go ballistic when Akane's missing...  
but when you thought it was just me that was gone,  
you were just going to sleep." She made a fist and  
hit him lightly on the back, "You can be such a JERK!  
I don't know why I'm so in love with you."  
"R-Ranko?" he murmured nervously.  
She clung tighter to him and he could feel her  
placing small kisses on his chest. "And right now,  
all I can think about it just to be as close to you  
as possible so bad I can almost taste it... taste  
you... you smell nice..." She moaned softly, pressing  
against him, "Just... just hold me for a little  
while, okay?" She asked in a small voice. "I... I  
need to get a hold of myself... I'm... I'm not  
myself..."  
Nodding slowly, Ranma tentatively put his other  
arm around Ranko as well, her embrace tightening. He  
could feel her quivering in his arms, but her  
breathing slowed, becoming more regular and he could  
feel her coming somewhat more in control of herself.  
"Are you okay?" Ranma asked softly.  
She sighed, "Almost... almost... it feels so  
nice here. Don't let go. I don't think I can handle  
that yet." She added softly.  
"Ranko?" he prodded her tentatively, "Ranko,  
what happened?"  
There was a long silence before she finally  
spoke, "The last... the last thing I remember clearly  
was saying goodbye to you onstage."  
"Did you really mean that? I mean, like as in a  
real goodbye for good?"  
"Yes." She replied immediately, "Every word. It  
was going on too long... Me... Akane... you... I  
loved you too much... I didn't want to see anyone  
hurt, especially not you... and you and Akane seemed  
so happy together, I just decided to finally get out  
of your hair. With enforcement down it wouldn't have  
been a problem... by the time things got sorted out,  
I was sure I could have reworded the contracts so you  
two could stay together..." Her voice was sad and  
slow.  
Ranma was stunned... but no more than by any of  
the other surprises he'd had these past twenty four  
hours. He simply nodded.  
"I was opening a gate... you know... to Heaven.  
I could've done it anywhere actually... but I  
had to make a dramatic exit..." she suppressed a  
giggle, "You know me."  
"Yeah..." he answered, half smiling.  
"I could see Akane watching us... watching me  
when I was going... she looked," Ranko's face was  
hidden from Ranma, but he could swear she was  
frowning, "Upset that I was going. She didn't want me  
to leave I think... something like that... then it  
gets hazy."  
"Hazy? How?"  
I remember rising up... I remember the light  
coming out of the gate... then all of a sudden,  
something huge and black got between me and the light  
and... and..." she shuddered in his arms, biting her  
lip.  
Ranma made comforting noises, moving a hand up  
to stroke her hair.  
"It felt like... like I was being torn apart...  
then knit back together... it hurt... and I can't  
remember anything clearly after that. I know I was  
with you... but I don't think I was me... and... I  
think I thought I was Akane... and I wanted to snap  
out of it but I was kissing you and you were kissing  
me back and I didn't want to think anymore... and you  
kept looking at me... That way you look at Akane...  
cause I think I was Akane then... but that didn't  
matter because your eyes... I just..." Ranko shook  
her head as she trailed off incoherently. There was a  
long pause before she finally added, "I don't think I  
wanted to remember who I was."  
Ranma didn't doubt her story at all. The  
sincerity in her voice was unmistakable. And she was  
too upset to even begin to attempt to lie coherently.  
"This wasn't like your usual disguise was it?" He  
asked gently.  
She shook her head against his chest, "No...  
you always see through that. This was almost like  
someone took a bit of Akane and put it in me. You  
always eventually see through my disguise.  
Especially after I kiss you. I don't think you even  
noticed this time."  
Ranma bit his lower lip and flushed in  
embarrassment, "You didn't kiss like you usually  
did."  
He was sure she was smiling and he could hear  
the faintly the sly tone Ranko usually spoke with,  
"Mmm... and I'll bet you know how that feels really  
well."  
He could only blush in response.  
She whispered softly to him, "Did you really  
mean that? When you said you'd would've done anything  
to help me?"  
"Do you remember that?" He asked.  
She nodded, "Yeah. Kind of. I just want to know  
if you meant it?"  
"Yeah. I did. I do. I was... I was worried  
about you. You keep getting into all sorts of trouble  
you know."  
She pulled away just enough to look into his  
face, a slight smile on her lips, "I know. I'm glad  
you worry about me."  
"Course I do." He answered awkwardly.  
"Ranma? How do you... how do you feel about  
me?"  
He blushed and stammered, "Uh... Ranko... now  
isn't really the time for that... I mean... it's kind  
of in the middle of a crisis and..."  
She nodded, "I know. Akane's in trouble... I  
think. No, I'm pretty sure of it. I remember some  
more bits and pieces. There was someone nearby.  
Someone who closed off the gate and switched me for  
Akane..."  
"Do you remember who it was?" Ranma asked, his  
brow furrowing.  
Ranko frowned slightly in thought, "It was a  
little girl in a black dress."  
"A what?"  
She moved her hand close to his face and  
snapped her fingers. There was a clicking sound as a  
Polaroid photo popped into existence in her hand. Her  
eyes widened in shock as she felt the strain of even  
that minor bit of magic, forcing her to lean even  
more against Ranma.  
"Hey, you okay?"  
"I'll be fine," she replied in a strained  
voice, forcing herself to smile for him, "Here's what  
she looked like."  
Ranma stared at the photo in bewilderment. It  
was a little girl, probably no more than ten years  
old. She was pretty, with large eyes and long,  
straight black hair that reached well past her knees.  
On her forehead was a mark which looked vaguely like  
a V. She wore a cute black a-line dress to her knees  
that had long sleeves which reached a little past her  
wrists. In her left hand she held a large black  
balloon.  
He couldn't help himself and asked. "This... is  
the kidnapper?"  
Ranko nodded, "I think so. That's what I  
remember."  
Ranma eyed her dubiously, "Are you sure? I  
mean... your memory is still pretty frazzled..."  
"No. I'm absolutely sure of it."  
"Awww... and here I thought you'd have your  
happily ever after." A cheerful voice called out to  
both of them.  
Ranma looked up and Ranko glanced over her  
shoulder. Standing at the doorway leading to the  
porch was a little girl in a black dress who looked  
exactly like the girl in the photo. She stood there  
smiling cutely at them with her hands behind her  
back.  
"That's her!" Ranko gasped.  
"Wha?"  
The little girl hopped up to Kasumi waving a  
hand in front of her eyes, smiling all the while.  
"Awww... she's stuck," the girl giggled.  
Ranma stood up, moving to the ten year old,  
"Who are you?"  
She turned to face him, "Hi! I'm Hinako  
Ninomiya! It's so nice to meet you." She extended her  
hand to him. A bemused Ranma moved to take it, but  
Ranko sprang to her feet, and stood between them,  
glaring at the little girl.  
"Don't you DARE touch him!" She snapped.  
The girl turned her smile on Ranko, "You guys  
are just tooo smart for your own good. If you hadn't  
done that, he'd've been happy with you already."  
Ranko got weakly to her feet, moving to Ranma  
protectively, "What are you doing here? What did you  
do with Akane?"  
"Me?" Hinako asked innocently, "I didn't do  
anything she didn't want me to."  
"Don't lie to me demoness." Ranko said softly.  
"Um... what?" Ranma asked.  
"I didn't get to finish my introduction, cause  
she interrupted!" Hinako pouted, "I was going to add,  
Demoness First class, unlimited license. And you're  
Ranma Saotome, she's Ranko Tendo... and the lumps  
over here are Nabiki and Kasumi." She giggled,  
"They're funny like this."  
"What have you done with Akane?!" Ranko asked  
again, her voice growing more dangerous.  
The little girl frowned at her. Her voice  
changed for a moment, losing it's childish quality  
and becoming more menacing, a sharp hiss all the more  
disturbing for seeming to come out of the mouth of a  
cuter little ten year old. "Don't presume to threaten  
me little goddess. I've granted your desire, to be  
with Ranma... and I've taken the agreed price. Akane  
Tendo is now one of ours. Forget her and get along  
with the pleasures of your lives..." her eyes glinted  
as she looked at Ranma, "However short and fleeting  
they are."  
Ranma stared in shock at Ranko, "Ranko... you  
didn't... not after what you just told me..."  
"You're lying!" Ranko cried at her, she turned  
to face Ranma, tears in her eyes, "She's lying! I  
didn't have anything to do with this!"  
Ranma bit his lower lip in thought, but gave  
Ranko's hand a comforting squeeze.  
Ranko smiled at him a little, then looked at  
Hinako, "Funny you calling me little when you don't  
even come up to my chin."  
Hinako smiled coldly, her body beginning to  
slowly unfold as he watched, lengthening, broadening,  
the little girl body acquiring curves, more befitting  
of a full grown woman... her body stretching until  
she was several inches taller than even Ranma. Ranma  
blinked in surprise as he looked at her now  
devastatingly sexy form. Her top was now stretched  
tightly across her entire body, the modest neckline  
was pulled open to reveal prodigious amounts of  
cleavage, the hemline of her dress had risen from  
somewhere around her knees to just barely covering  
her bottom. She faced them both a tiny playful smile  
on her face, "Better, Ranko?"  
Ranma merely frowned, unimpressed. He'd seen  
enough of Ranko's shapeshifting not to be  
intimidated, "What are you talking about?"  
"Well, think about it, Ranma," Hinako smirked,  
"After all... doesn't it seem that Ranko just got  
what she wanted? To be the one woman in your life?  
Now you tell me... aren't you just a little  
suspicious, hmmm?"  
Ranma looked at Ranko... his insides churning  
with the agony of indecision. Was Ranko lying again?  
It wouldn't be the first time... but after how Ranko  
had looked just a few minutes ago and she had just  
said... it was difficult to lend credence to what a  
self proclaimed demonness was saying. But what Hinako  
was telling him made too much sense. No. He could  
trust Ranko. In this at least, maybe. He shook his  
head and forced himself to look into Hinako's face.  
"I don't care who's fault it is, I just want Akane  
back." He said in a level voice.  
"But I can't give her to you... there's a  
contract," Hinako smiled coldly, putting her fist to  
her hip. "Unless... you'd like to make a deal for  
her..."  
Ranma bit back a growl, "Contracts! Contracts!  
What is it with you people and your contracts!"  
Ranko held him back, standing protectively in  
front of him. "No... don't..."  
"Let me see her!" Ranma shouted at Hinako.  
The demonness smirked, "Oh, well showing her to  
you is different." she inclined her head, stepping  
across the threshold. "Right this way."  
Cautiously, Ranma and Ranko followed her out to  
the garden. As she stood in the middle of the clear  
area in the garden, she gave a shrug and the front of  
her outfit opened, making it look more like a jacket  
rather than the dress it was originally. Underneath  
it, she wore a series of overlapping leather straps  
held in place by metal buckles, which while keeping  
her modesty... also did a startlingly good job of  
tempting the eye. Ranma however wasn't really paying  
attention to that. She faced them and put a hand  
under her jacket, drawing out what appeared to be a  
bottle of mineral water.  
She gave the bottle a shake and tapped the cap  
lightly. "Wakey, wakey Akane. Your lover boy out here  
wants to look at you."  
There was an outpouring of smoke from the  
bottle, like steam or mist which swirled tightly...  
Ranko and Ranma both taken by surprise stepped back  
as the smoke coalesced into another form... It was  
Akane... but not quite as either Ranma or her cousin  
could recognize.  
She wore dark eyeshadow and her outfit was one  
they never would've associated with Akane. It was  
similar to Hinako's, comprised of alternating strips  
of black leather, which simultaneously covered and  
concealed a great deal of skin, which vaguely  
resembled a swimsuit. On her hands were black gloves  
which reached to the elbow and she wore high heeled  
boots reaching up to her thigh. Held at her throat by  
a silver clasp in the shape of a lightning bolt was a  
long gray cloak. She had one hand at her hip, and  
stood with one leg just slightly ahead of the other.  
She was pretty before. Now... now she was  
devastating. Ranma had trouble keeping his mouth  
shut. It was her and it wasn't... and somehow... that  
only made her all the more exciting.  
"By all of the... Akane! What's happened to  
you?!" Ranko blurted out, clinging tighter to Ranma.  
Akane looked at the two of them through hooded  
eyes, before languidly turning her face to Hinako,  
"Did you need me for something, ma'am?"  
Hinako smiled sweetly at her, "Why yes...  
there's a mortal who's been looking for you oh, so  
desperately..."  
She returned her gaze to Ranma and Ranko,  
looking at the two of them thoroughly. Her eyebrow  
quirked, calling further attention to another change.  
The symbol on her forehead was no longer a diamond.  
It had become a V shape. Just like Hinako's.  
"I'm gone less than a day and already you two  
are all over each other." Akane smirked, "You're  
absolutely disgusting."  
Ranma's eyes widened as he tried to pull away  
from Ranko, who was having none of it. "It... it's  
not what it looks like Akane--" he stammered.  
Akane stepped closer to them, gliding smoothly,  
until her face was practically just inches from his.  
She took a deep breath, her nostrils flaring slightly  
even as her eyes flashed. "Oh... and what's this? You  
practically smell just like her... the only way I  
could think for that to happen is if you'd spent the  
night together... did you do that, hmmm?"  
Ranma stammered, taking a step back, still  
trying to extricate himself from the clinging Ranko,  
"Er... we did... but... not like you're making it  
sound..."  
Akane straightened up, looking coldly at him,  
"I just knew you were waiting for me to leave so you  
could have your way with Ranko... all the way from  
the start... all those kind words... all those loving  
promises... all lies. I suppose I shouldn't have  
expected too much from you." She all but spat out,  
"After all, you're just human."  
Around them the sky was darkening. Clouds  
rolled across the sky with frightening speed and the  
winds were building up. Despite Akane's cool facade,  
all around them the fury of the building storm could  
be nothing more than a pale shadow of the anger  
inside Akane.  
Hinako laughed merrily, stepping next to Akane  
and lightly placed a hand on the shorter woman's  
shoulder, "As you can plainly see, Ranma... she  
obviously doesn't want to come with you. So why don't  
you just keep Ranko and have fun. Akane just isn't  
interested anymore."  
Ranma looked past Akane to Hinako, "What have  
you done to her?! Is this even her? I've seen so many  
people changing shape today I wouldn't put it past a  
demonness to show us some sort of fake."  
Akane sneered, "I'm right here, so why don't  
you ask me if I'm a fake or not? And if I could  
possibly mention it, you're cuddling to the world's  
expert on being a 'fake Akane' why not ask her?"  
Ranko turned, facing Akane, "You made a wish  
didn't you?" She demanded.  
"Of course, I did, you stupid ungrateful cow."  
Akane replied, as lightning began to arc above them,  
"I made the wish for you. The wish you didn't have  
the guts to make."  
Ranma frowned, "Wish? What are you talking  
about? Akane, you told me yourself the Goddesses  
aren't allowed to have wishes."  
Ranko spoke in a level voice, "Goddesses aren't  
allowed to make wishes come true for themselves.  
Wishes are granted. They're always granted. No  
goddess can make a wish come true for another one.  
But demons can grant a goddess' wishes. And the price  
for it is to become a demon."  
"Right," Akane grinned, "And I got my wish  
granted. A wish I made for you. I'd think you'd  
appreciate it more, you stupid idiot. I mean, I only  
gave up everything just so you could have him, the  
least you could do was to at least look like you were  
enjoying yourself. Look, you've even got the dumb  
comb," she smirked, pointing at Ranko's hair.  
Ranko looked shocked, "This... I'm starting to  
remember... this can't be over that, can it Akane?  
You couldn't have possibly done this because of what  
happened so long ago."  
"I made this wish long, long ago... everything  
has been leading up to this. Everything." Akane  
sneered. Behind her, Hinako merely smiled.  
Ranma shook his head, still confused, "But...  
but why, Akane? How could you do this?"  
"Why?" Akane asked, her eyes locked with his  
moving even closer, "Because I couldn't stand to see  
Ranko constantly mooning over you anymore. I was sick  
and tired of it. You wouldn't even think of doing to  
me what you've been wanting to do to her all this  
time... guess I wasn't good enough for you, huh? I  
figured you wanted to be with the red headed chippy  
more than you wanted to be with me, so why not? I  
gave you both what you wanted, didn't I? "  
"No! You're turning this all around!" Ranma  
roared pushing Ranko behind him, "You know how I feel  
about you! Stop talking like that, Akane! This isn't  
like you!"  
"'Like me'? Not 'like me'?! What do you know  
about me, Saotome?!" She literally thundered, the  
howling wind of the building storm taking on her  
words, "What makes you think you know me?!" She asked  
sharply, shoving him back.  
Ranma staggered a step backwards as Akane  
closed in, aiming a roundhouse for his face. He  
pulled his head back, her punch barely missing him.  
she began to unleash a flurry of blows, which he  
began to duck and weave, avoiding them all by the  
narrowest of margins. He couldn't believe how fast  
she was. The more he avoided them, the faster her  
blows came, around them the wind was now roaring,  
thunder rolling ominously close to them.  
"I hate you, Ranma! For every time you made me  
suffer the humiliation of wanting you... for every  
indignity I've taken since your stupid wish... I hate  
you! I hate you!" She screamed out, the intensity of  
the wind growing even stronger, pounding at all of  
them. Akane's eyes were glowing an electric blue,  
power crackling from her body. "I hate you!" she  
cried aloud as lightning suddenly tore from the sky,  
striking Ranma full in the chest, hurling him back.  
She was breathing hard as she loomed over him,  
her face all the more terrifying for it's familiarity  
as for the expression of unadulterated fury etched  
into it. She raised a hand, electricity arcing across  
her fingertips.  
"No!" Ranko cried, hurling herself on top of  
Ranma's stunned and smoking form. She was still weak.  
Too weak. Being cut off from the system had drained  
her tremendously, but being so close to Ranma renewed  
her strength. A warmth building up inside her as she  
felt her own love for him burning fiercer. A bolt of  
lightning arced from Akane's hand striking her in the  
small of the back, but it bounced off of the glowing  
aura which had sprung up around her.  
Slowly, perhaps a little shakily, Ranko rose to  
her feet. Her eyes locked with Akane's. She spread  
her arms to her sides and a shimmering dome of pale  
red energy surrounded her and Ranma. Her eyes had  
tears in them, but they were hard as steel. "No more,  
Akane. No more."  
A cruel, triumphant smile crossed Akane's lips  
as she spoke, coldly. "A nice effort, cousin... but  
ultimately futile. The system's down, or didn't you  
know? You've got a very limited reserve of power left  
to you, don't you? It's only a matter of time before  
that's exhausted..." she raised both of her hands  
above her head, a crackling ball of energy began to  
form as she continued to speak, "Whereas I... I am  
tapped into the other system. My power comes from my  
anger. And right now, I'm feeling very, very ANGRY!"  
She screamed the last as she loosed the ball of  
energy hurling it at Ranko's shield.  
There was an explosion of pure force that  
rocked Ranko's construct, staggering her, forcing her  
to one knee. She wet her lips as she rose to her feet  
again, "And you know where my power comes from  
Akane... I'm protecting Ranma right now... The man I  
love. Give it up..."  
Ranma struggled to her feet behind her, "Ranko,  
no... don't fight her. This is between us. This is my  
fault. I think I can see that. Let me talk to her.  
This is between her and me."  
Ranko took a moment to glance at Ranma over her  
shoulder and favored him with a weak smile. A tiny  
tingle of warmth fanned the power within her at the  
sight of him. "No, Ranma... this isn't about you and  
her. It's about her and me." She turned to look at  
Akane, "It always has been. Ever since the day we had  
to make you forget us... ever since the day we made  
each other forget about you..."  
"What are you--?" Ranma began to ask, but  
Akane's cry drowned out the rest.  
"You've never beaten me, Ranko. Not once! Let's  
finish this once and for all!" She called out hurling  
another lightning bolt at Ranko.  
Ranko grit her teeth anticipating the blow...  
she allowed her shield to give a little, catching the  
energy her cousin had hurled within a web of her own  
power. Slowly she drew her hands in front of her, the  
shield around them tearing and flickering as it  
coalesced, enfolding the energy Akane had hurled at  
them as she called back, "That, Akane... is because  
we're always... getting... INTERRUPTED!" She shouted  
as she tensed her arms, suddenly hurling both the  
mingled energies. The blast, tore through the lawn,  
singeing the grass as it passed. Akane was caught off  
guard. She crossed her arms desperately in front of  
her, trying to ward off the blast, but it caught her  
full force, hurling her back all the way to the wall,  
embedding her in the stone. She slumped forward  
collapsing onto the lawn. Ranma screamed her name,  
running to catch her just before she hit the ground.  
Ranma stared in shock as he cradled Akane in  
his arms. She seemed to be breathing, but she was out  
cold. , "Ranko, why did you?!"  
"I had... to stop... her... don't worry,  
she's... not hurt..." Ranko walked towards them and  
teetered for a moment longer before she slumped to  
the ground, almost totally drained. Ranma lunged  
forward, catching her clumsily, since he was already  
supporting Akane with one hand.  
Hinako clapped slowly, "Oh, that was terribly  
sweet. Not too effective, though. Akane's still mine.  
I granted her wish and there's nothing more you can  
do about it."  
Ranma stared at her, his face livid with anger,  
"Don't bet on it. Contracts can get broken."  
"Not this one," Hinako laughed. "I've spent the  
past thirteen years setting all of this up. It's  
totally airtight. You haven't a chance of breaking  
it." she stopped laughing and sauntered closer to  
him, "Unless of course... you'd like to make a deal  
for her. I can be quite generous with the terms."  
Ranma ground his teeth in frustration, before  
setting Ranko and Akane gently down onto the ground.  
He rose to his feet, facing her, "What kind of  
terms?"  
She gestured, "Your willing, complete and total  
servitude for the remainder of your life. In  
exchange, I free Akane of the demonic infiltration  
I've performed on her. I'll even throw in not  
interfering with Ranko, Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki's  
lives ever again, if you like, just to show you I'm a  
fair minded demoness."  
Ranma stared at Hinako. His mouth was opening  
in preparation for accepting the terms of the deal.  
It wouldn't be that much of a price to pay, would it?  
It was for Akane. And Ranko. He could save them. Keep  
this... this monster away from them. They wouldn't be  
hurt anymore. They wouldn't need to keep near him  
anymore. The stupid contracts would be nullified,  
they would be free to live their own lives. Away from  
him. Away from everything he'd ever inflicted on them  
through his thoughtlessness. As these thoughts  
flashed through his head a curious calm filled him.  
He straightened up, as the winds began to die down  
and an eerie silence surrounded everything. As though  
he'd suddenly grown distant to everything. Around him  
a blue aura began to flicker to life, gaining  
strength as he stared at Hinako.  
Knowledge began to pour through him. Memories  
locked away... his dream... it's conclusion... the  
pillar of light that erupted from the forest as he  
left it... the wonder... he understood. He finally  
knew how it all fit together. He felt as though the  
final piece of the puzzle has slid into place and the  
whole picture had simply leapt into shape. The  
interactions. Balance, Peace, Force, Proximity...  
"No." He spoke. And it was like a book being  
closed. With that one syllable came a force of  
absolute certainty that it would not happen, never  
would happen and nothing ANYWHERE could possibly  
change conditions.  
Hinako took a step back, gaping in shock as the  
aura surrounding Ranma intensified. He looked to be  
almost transfigured. Even the gaping hole in his  
shirt was mending itself.  
"Akane was never the one you wanted. It was me  
all along, wasn't it?" Ranma asked sharply.  
Hinako took another step back, shrinking down  
to her childlike form, an expression of pure terror  
replacing her surprise.  
"You will answer." Ranma spoke and there was  
something so totally indisputable about his voice. It  
wasn't possible to resist. He wasn't simply making a  
statement. He was telling her how it would BE.  
"Yes," Hinako squeaked.  
Ranma gestured, calling on his newfound  
knowledge. Ranko and Akane both began to stir weakly  
as they felt energy pouring into their bodies once  
more. System energy. Akane rubbed her head. It was  
still ringing. the brand on her forehead was still  
the V shape, but it seemed to slide open and closed,  
shifting shape between that and it's normal diamond  
shape. From inside the house, Kasumi and Nabiki, both  
stepped out, neither looking much the worse for wear.  
"You can't have Akane, Hinako..." Ranma spoke,  
quoting information as it came to him, "It was an  
unselfish wish she asked for. Demons aren't allowed  
to grant those... at least not permanently. Akane's  
not yours."  
Akane lurched weakly to her feet, her face a  
fierce scowl the mark on her forehead now a V. "I...  
it was selfish! I did it to get rid of Ranko! So she  
wouldn't bother me anymore! I made the wish for me!"  
Kasumi shook her head gently, moving to Akane's  
side, touching her gently on the shoulders, "No,  
Akane... you wanted Ranko to be happy. Your wish was  
clearly for her."  
"No! I was winning! You can't do this! I nearly  
had him!" Hinako bawled. "It's not fair!"  
"Funny," Nabiki smirked, "A demon going on  
about fairness. You were hoping you could keep the  
charade up long enough to have him sign over his free  
will to you. Nice ploy. A little convoluted, but it  
might have worked."  
Ranko stood up groggily, "Did the good guys  
win?"  
"Not yet, but we will." Ranma replied with a  
smile, he turned his attention back to Hinako, "Go  
home, demonness. You have no claim on anyone here.  
Between four goddesses and me... you're better off  
going away."  
She pouted up at the lot of them, "This isn't  
over you know..." she sniffled, "You haven't seen the  
last of me."  
The goddesses moved to surround her...  
realizing her position, she gulped nervously and  
pulled a cassette tape out from a pocket, "Well...  
um... I guess I should be going." She dropped it to  
the ground and within a matter of moments her body  
had turned into a thick smoke which poured into the  
tape. As the last of the smoke disappeared into it.  
Akane blinked unsteadily as the symbol on her  
brow reformed into it's usual shape, stabilizing into  
it's original configuration.  
Ranma took a step forward and crushed the tape  
under his foot. "And that's that." He grinned.  
"RANMA!" Akane and Ranko both cried  
simultaneously, rushing towards him, tackle hugging  
him from two sides.  
He blushed a bit, but had to admit to himself  
he definitely enjoyed it. Especially considering  
Ranko only had a blanket draped around herself, and  
Akane's leather outfit showed so much bare skin that  
her torso was close to naked.  
Kasumi and Nabiki smiled at him.  
"I almost wasn't expecting you to pull through,  
Saotome... very close. Lucky you owed me enough."  
Nabiki smirked.  
Ranma blinked as he mulled that over. She was  
right. Absolutely right. "Yes. Yes, it was."  
"What does she mean?" Ranko asked.  
"You wanted him in debt to you?" Akane turned  
to Nabiki.  
"'Debtors of sufficient magnitude to the  
Goddess of Transactions are required to repay  
aforementioned debts with these effects to take  
precedence over any subsequent contracts placed, or  
attempted to be placed on the debtor in question'."  
Ranma quoted from their regulation manual.  
Nabiki nodded, "Precisely. I was worried you  
didn't owe enough, but I suppose it must've been."  
Ranko and Akane were both staring at Ranma.  
Ranko said to him, "But that doesn't explain  
how you were able to chase Hinako off. Or how you  
woke us up..."  
Akane nodded, "Or how you know so much..."  
Ranma grinned, "I guess... you could say I just  
figured out my place in the universe."  
Ranko and Akane traded glances.  
"Do you know what he's talking about?" Akane  
asked her cousin.  
"No idea." Ranko replied.  
"You don't suppose he's gone nuts do you?"  
"Hope not."  
"Hey," Ranma mock scowled, "I'm right here, you  
can ask me you know."  
The two giggled, "Yeah, but it's more fun not  
to." Ranko answered.  
Akane was about to say something else in  
agreement, when she suddenly stiffened. She went pale  
and collapsed against Ranma, her face a grimace of  
pain as she felt something like hot knives searing  
through her soul.  
Ranko looked at her in concern, calling her  
name. Ranma cradled her gently, worry plainly etched  
on his features.  
"What's happening?" Ranko asked.  
"Hinako. The demon essence she placed inside  
Akane when she claimed her... it's withdrawn  
completely, but... she must've bound it so tightly to  
Akane that there's not enough left of her to hold  
together..." Kasumi spoke gently, moving closer to  
them. Only the slight quaver in her voice betrayed  
her own anxiety.  
Ranma looked up at her, bewildered, "What does  
that mean?!"  
"She's dying." Nabiki said in a flat tone,  
keeping her emotions under tight control, but she  
moved closer, her own concern evident,  
"Not now," Ranko muttered, "We already won.  
This can't happen."  
Akane took a ragged gasp of air and they could  
see her body beginning to shimmer, losing its  
transparency.  
Kasumi shook her head, "I... Ranko, I don't  
think there's anything we can do for her... none of  
us have any capacity for this... and Yggdrasil's  
down... maybe--" she started to say, glancing at  
Ranma.  
Ranko interrupted scowling, "Well it's not  
going to happen!" She took Akane's hand and looked  
fiercely into the dazed goddess' eyes, "Listen up  
stupid! Don't you dare die on us now! Just cause I  
kicked your behind is no reason to give up the ghost,  
right? I mean you've got Ranma... that's a huge  
consolation prize... are you listening to me?! You  
better not die, or I'm stealing him from you!"  
Akane barely shook as she suppressed a laugh.  
The effort cost her as her body seemed to pulse  
briefly into near total clarity. "Maybe... maybe  
that's for the better, huh? No more fighting for us  
at least."  
"No!" Ranko shouted at her, "Not now! We were  
just starting to get along again! I remember  
everything now... why we started fighting... why  
everything! You can't die!"  
Kasumi and Nabiki maintained a respectful  
silence, but their concern was almost palpable,  
reaching out, washing across the others. Almost  
solid. As though through their emotions they were  
trying to hold Akane together.  
"No." Ranma said flatly, rising to his feet. He  
glanced over to the other three goddesses, "If you  
had access to the Yggdrasil you could help her,  
right?"  
Nabiki nodded, "Yes."  
"Upload me." Ranma said, "Do it now."  
Kasumi blinked, "Immediately?  
Nabiki answered at the same time, "We need at  
least an hour to configure for upload..."  
Ranko looked up at him in horror, "No! Akane's  
already fading, don't risk yourself too!"  
"I don't care," Ranma returned, "It can help  
Akane. It's worth the risk."  
Nabiki chewed on her lower lip, doing a few  
quick calculations in her head, "The portal we were  
setting up in the living room can do it with a little  
reconfiguration."  
Ranma nodded, running back into the house,  
still carrying Akane, "We haven't got time, just fire  
it up!"  
Nabiki and Kasumi looked at each other, before  
following him.  
"Will it work?" Ranko asked them both.  
"Only one way to find out, cousin." Nabiki  
frowned as she gathered her energies together. This  
could get messy... but there was no other choice.  
Ranma stood in the middle of the circle  
inscribed into the floor. Kasumi and Nabiki took  
positions to each side of him, both raised their  
hands, setting up a circuit of energy which would  
activate it.  
Ranko barreled forward just as light began to  
erupt from the fringes of the circle, "I'm coming  
along too!"  
"Ranko, no! This is dangerous enough as is!"  
Ranma called back to her as she grabbed his sleeve.  
Akane looked up weakly, obviously trying to say  
something, but it was too late, as the three of them  
were swallowed by the sudden explosion of light.

Certain mythologies speak of forty righteous  
souls that walk the Earth. As long as the Almighty  
remained pleased with these forty, the world would  
not be destroyed. Myths tend to have some basis in  
reality. One way or another. There are in fact forty  
souls who are very important to Yggdrasil. These  
forty, by virtue of lineage or quirk of chance are  
essential to the functioning of the System which  
monitored and controlled all of reality. They are the  
backups. Files existing within the Yggdrasil system  
are distributed among these souls, and in the event  
of file loss or corruption with Yggdrasil itself, the  
files could be safely and easily uploaded back to the  
main system from these backups. Think of them as a  
metaphysical safety margin. Unfortunately, the safe  
upload required at least a minimum of three hours.  
Ranma didn't have that much time. He was the backup  
for the Interaction Protocols. He had access to  
portions of the knowledge within him, but he only  
needed one bit of information... how to dump the  
files he had inside him quickly. It could be done. It  
was just going to hurt. A lot. That was a price he  
was willing to pay, though.  
Ranma howled as he felt himself being drawn  
through the portal. As more of him entered the other  
side, he felt his mind beginning to expand, filling  
to encompass the space he was in. A massive emptiness  
that was forcefully drawing all of his newfound  
knowledge out of his head. Like being squeezed and  
torn apart at the same time. Words could not even  
begin to fully describe the experience, as he was  
emptied, he could feel parts of him overwriting  
things, overlaying others out in the blank white  
expanse surrounding him. He knew he still cradled  
Akane in his arms, but that was the only sensation he  
could be certain of. Nothing else he could be certain  
of as he simultaneously experienced hundreds...  
thousands of sensations... all equally vivid, all  
clamoring at once for his undivided attention.  
Water across his body...  
The sounds of traffic...  
The roar of the ocean...  
An aria...  
Hands across his body...  
All sensations of interaction... all at once.  
He tried desperately to focus. To remember.  
Akane. In his arms. That was consistent. The one  
overarcing thread of sensation which he could cling  
on to. How light she felt in his arms. Lighter than  
he would've imagined. Was that because of her fading  
or was she really that light? Or was he just  
imagining that she was light? Even these thoughts  
were beginning to fragment... it wasn't enough... his  
mind reeled, being swept along into the flow of  
information which roared all around him. But he felt  
another set of consistent sensations. Hands... hands  
on his face... caressing, holding, touching... a  
voice that cut through the clamor within his mind...  
calling his name, over and over again. Two voices...  
louder... calling harder... more desperately, leading  
him back.  
Ranma's eyes snapped open. He was on his knees.  
All around him was empty blackness, but he could feel  
a surface underneath him. Ranko and Akane were both  
looking at him worriedly. Both looked to be a bit  
faded, but Akane at least did not seem to be in any  
more pain.  
"Are you okay?" Akane asked him.  
Ranma nodded slowly. He still felt as though  
he'd just been put through a wringer.  
Ranko smiled and touched his cheek, "Well,  
we're in the system... you managed to reboot it, I  
think."  
"How do you know?" Ranma asked weakly.  
Ranko pointed in front of him where a short  
distance away, large glowing green letters spelled  
out the words, "System Reboot Commencing"  
After a few seconds, those words vanished and  
were replaced by the words "System Reboot Successful.  
Now scanning files."  
The words blinked out again after a few seconds  
and were replaced by two icons and two lines of text.  
Akane said, "I guess the source of the problem  
seems to have been isolated."  
Ranma blinked, trying to clear his head. Just  
underneath the glowing words were a pair of smaller  
icons. One appeared to be a superdeformed Ranko and  
the other a superdeformed Akane. The words said:  
"Crosslinkage has occurred between file  
Ygg:\Goddess\ and file  
Ygg:\Goddess\ at address  
.Temple16  
"File Ygg:\Goddess\ has been  
corrupted"  
Akane winced as her body became translucent for  
a moment. With an effort of will she pulled herself  
together. It was easier here, but whatever was  
happening to her, hadn't stopped. Ranko touched  
Akane's shoulder and for a moment they both faded a  
bit as Ranko lent some of her substance to her  
cousin.  
Akane jerked back, "Don't do that!"  
Ranko shot back, "You're going to die if I  
don't, stupid! At least I'm slowing it down a bit  
more!"  
"I don't want to take you with me..." She bit  
her lower lip and glanced at the still somewhat  
stunned Ranma, then back at Ranko, "Who's going to  
take care of him, when I'm gone if you die too?"  
"That's not the point!" Ranko replied sharply,  
"Hinako did something to me too... a lot of the  
pieces of you that are missing... I think they're in  
me." She looked to Ranma, "I can give those parts  
back to you... you should have enough to pull you  
through this."  
"But what about you?" Akane asked with concern.  
"I was leaving anyway," Ranko shrugged, "Maybe  
it'd be easier like this, huh?" she smiled weakly.  
"Nobody's dying on anybody if I have any say in  
it." Ranma frowned, finally managing to straighten  
up.  
The two looked at him. Bot looking as though  
they were going to argue the point when another line  
of text appeared just below the icons. "Do you wish  
to delete the following files?"  
Ranma answered sharply, facing the glowing  
text, "No!"  
The words faded out and were replaced by a new  
string of text, "Do you wish to repair the following  
files?"  
"Yes."  
"Ranma..." Akane looked worriedly up at him, "I  
don't think the System has enough resources to  
allocate for that... it would have to go through you  
to perform it... and I don't think you could take  
another time through..."  
Ranko pleaded, "Ranma don't, please... you  
shouldn't risk yourself anymore. We've gotten this  
far... We can probably get someone to set up the  
proper buffering first. Akane and I can keep swapping  
for another hour or so..."  
"Would that be any safer for you two?" Ranma  
asked quietly.  
Akane replied, unable to meet his gaze, "No...  
it would probably just make things worse. Not just  
for us, but for the entire system. Still... please...  
don't do this."  
He bit back a laugh, "would you rather I listen  
to you two argue about who gets to die? I know what  
I'm doing. I think. I don't want to lose either of  
you..." he stood raising his hands to his sides as  
new text faded into view.  
"Commence repair on the following files?"  
Ranma stared at the words for long moments. He  
grit his teeth in anticipation. He took Akane's hand  
in one of his, and Ranko's hand in the other, looking  
at them both. He took a last deep breath before he  
finally said, "Yes."  
There was a wrenching tug... followed by a  
sensation of motion and speed... rushing...  
rushing... speed... screaming down the wires and  
conduits of Heaven as information once more poured  
through his brain...  
There was a jarring moment as Ranma, with his  
two companions found themselves watching a sketchily  
depicted scene of Ranko and Akane... both only eight  
years old, playing together. Laughing. Happy.  
Both goddesses watched thoughtfully, as the  
scene abruptly changed to a forest. Everything moved  
in a slightly jerky, stop-start manner, but it was  
unmistakable. There was an eight year old Ranma,  
walking down a path, kicking an occassional stone...  
in front of him a beam of light sliced down from the  
sky and as he watched, wide-eyed with surprise. The  
young Ranko and Akane slowly descended down the beam.  
"This..." Ranma started to say.  
"This is when you first met us..." Akane said  
remembering it vividly.  
"It was our first assignment..." Ranko  
murmured, "We were supposed to familiarize ourselves  
with Earth..."  
"That and kind of keep an eye on you since you  
were... you know, a backup," Ranko added.  
There was rush again in Ranma's mine as the  
scene shifted and surged forward... the three  
children playing together. One series of games after  
another. Happily. Scenes of the three enjoying  
themselves as only children can. More often than not,  
the young Ranko would be hugging the young Ranma,  
while the younger Akane would laugh in delight at  
them.  
Ranko smiled as the memories played themselves  
out, "You were so cute back then..." she smiled at  
Ranma.  
Akane tried to suppress a smile, "Even back  
then you couldn't keep your hands off of him."  
Then the day of the mock wedding... the pinky  
promise... and they watched as the young Ranma  
receded in the distance... a beam of light streaked  
down from the sky, bearing a message for the two.  
And the young Ranko crying. And the young Akane  
looking confused. And the young Ranma looking back...  
at the beam as it rose into the heavens... and he  
began to forget.  
With every scene played out the circuit of  
warmth connecting the three of them grew stronger.  
Ranma closed his eyes, his head was already beginning  
to pound.  
The scenes of Ranko and Akane's return to  
heaven began to play out flitting both through  
Ranma's mind and the area around them... hazy,  
indistinct, as though they were memories so long lain  
dusty and forgotten that they would fall apart under  
scrutiny. There was the disciplining... the lecture  
about how they were unauthorized to make contracts,  
and even something so seemingly trivial as a pinky  
promise had carried with it the weight of the most  
iron clad contracts... there was a scramble... and  
confusion as the problems were sorted... and fixed...  
blurry figures, obviously adult deities rushing to  
and fro past the confused children... all they wanted  
was to make their playmate happy. Everyone seemed to  
be so upset... they couldn't understand it.  
Ranma asked them quietly, "What happened next?"  
"Look..." Akane pointed as the scene shifted  
again to just the young Ranko and Akane again. They  
both looked sad, but Ranko far more than Akane. There  
was no sound, but Akane pantomimed conversation...  
Ranko spoke, "I was depressed about not being  
able to see you again... Akane tried to cheer me up,  
but it wasn't working."  
The Akane in the scene pulled a golden comb  
from her hair. The golden comb the real Ranko was  
wearing now. They watched the younger Akane gave it  
to the young Ranko.  
Akane smiled slightly, "That's when you perked  
up a bit. You'd wanted that thing for a long time."  
Ranko smiled back, "Yeah. Only that wasn't the  
only reason. That's when I got my bright idea."  
The Ranko in the scene hopped to her feet  
suddenly and dashed off, leaving a baffled eight year  
old Akane.  
"I always wondered how that got into my sock  
drawer..." Ranma mused.  
"It's showing it..." Ranko spoke back, as the  
scene shifted again... the young Ranko moving  
surreptitiously, walking around what appeared to be a  
boy's bedroom... she slipped open a drawer and put  
the comb in carefully. Then with exaggerated caution  
she walked over to the bed, leaning over to what  
appeared to be the sleeping young Ranma and whispered  
something, before kissing him on the ear.  
"Oh."  
Akane smiled at him, "Ranko had this notion  
that maybe if you had something to remember us by, it  
would come back to you eventually."  
Ranko slapped Ranma lightly on the shoulder,  
"Except you gave it to your sister, you bum."  
"Er... sorry. How was I supposed to know? I  
didn't remember that."  
Akane nudged them both and spoke quietly, her  
voice was hoarse. "Here's where it goes wrong..."  
The scene changed again, and the young Akane  
stood sighing as she watched the young Ranko mope.  
Her lips moved as she seemed to speak something, and  
behind her, a figure in black tapped her shoulder...  
it was Hinako in her young form. Words were obviously  
exchanged between them.  
"I couldn't stand seeing Ranko so sad anymore."  
Akane continued softly, "So I made a wish... I wished  
she could be with Ranma... and they could both be  
happy."  
The scene began to quiver and shake as the  
pressure began to increase on Ranma's mind. This was  
the source of the corruption within the system, he  
realized. The shaking grew worse as the image began  
to degrade into individual motes of light.  
Akane began to fade once more, quicker this  
time... her entire body was all but transparent  
within seconds. Ranma, lost in the confusion and pain  
of the knowledge flowing through his mind, stood  
mute. Ranko held both their hands tightly.  
Ranma screamed, "Hold on you two! We can do  
this! Just... don't give up!"  
Akane grit her teeth, sucking air in, or at  
least trying to. It was growing difficult for her to  
maintain her own hold on Ranko and Ranma's hands as  
her grip became more and more tenuous, her strength  
was leaving her.  
Ranko clutched at Akane tighter, calling on  
what strength she still had, sharing it with both of  
them... lending her substance to Akane, desperately  
trying to help hold her together.  
Ranma pushed with all his might and will.  
Forcing the process to work. Forcing himself to keep  
sane. Every fiber of his being was set entirely on  
the task.  
The longer they held closer, the more he could  
feel the weight and pressure of their thoughts...  
they were all open to one another. Akane's love for  
Ranma... her possessiveness... her occasional  
jealousies... his own for her, powerful, but  
unexpressed... his fears... his inexplicable fondness  
for Ranko... there was love there too... not the  
same... different... Ranko's own fierce love for  
him... an almost all consuming passion for him... for  
his happiness... before these feelings, even the  
thirteen years of bad blood between the cousins could  
not help but be washed away in a torrent of  
understanding...  
Ranma cried out drawing renewed strength from  
them both, "We're leaving together! One way or  
another! All together..."  
There was a sudden cry from one, perhaps all  
three of them as one, as energy surged and pulsed  
within them, drawing them together. Light and energy  
begin to play across their bodies, it's intensity  
climbing as all three stood locked in a silent scream  
or prayer. The light grew... brighter... hotter...  
almost beyond endurance... before suddenly,  
startlingly... it winked out, leaving only a tiny  
mote of light floating within a black space.

Ranma woke up slowly... his head was pounding.  
The pain was exquisite and almost unbelievably  
intense. If he were the type to drink, this would've  
been comparable to the resultant hangover of a month  
long binge on which nothing was consumed but Tequila.  
Of course, he didn't, so he had no basis for  
comparisson.  
Faintly he could hear laughter and music  
filtering into the room. Faint, but still far too  
loud for his taste. He could feel his head throbbing  
in time to the beat.  
Akane leaned over him, smiling lovingly down on  
him, "Finally awake. We've been waiting for you to  
wake up for two hours."  
He stirred weakly, "You're--"  
"Yes. I'm fine." She murmured, embracing him  
gently.  
He winced at the movement but did nothing to  
discourage her. Even if he could've, he wouldn't  
have. He closed his eyes, relief flooding into him.  
"I'm glad," he whispered. He could feel the headache  
begin to recede as he touched Akane. The pain  
draining away from him with slow certainty.  
"Hey," came a familiar, playful voice beside  
him, "Can I get in on some of that?"  
Ranma glanced in that direction to find a  
smiling Ranko. She looked teary eyed but relieved.  
There was a faint, hopeful look in her eye." Akane  
looked at her and her face broke out into another  
smile as she gave the barest of nods. Ranko moved  
forward, hugging them both.  
She held them fiercely to her, "I'm so glad  
you're both okay!"  
There was a long moment of silence as the three  
just held their position, enjoying the warmth of each  
other's company.  
Ranma coughed weakly, a blush creeping faintly  
up his cheeks as they began to untangle themselves.  
"So... I guess... everything's okay now,  
right?" Ranma asked.  
Akane nodded, "Nabiki confirmed the system came  
back up a few minutes after you uploaded yourself.  
But there were some file losses..."  
Ranma blinked at her in incomprehension. The  
clarity of vision he'd had from before, the  
knowledge, was fading. Even his memories of his  
moments within the System were hazy and uncertain.  
The color and power of the emotions he had felt were  
still there, but the details... none of them would  
stay in his mind. That, he realized was for the best.  
Ranko continued for her, "... certain contracts  
were lost..."  
"Like ours." Akane finished quietly.  
Ranma stared at them in shock, "The contracts  
are gone?"  
They nodded in unison.  
He willed the transformation into his Ranko  
form to come over him and stared stupidly at his hand  
as it remained unchanged. "I'm normal now?" he  
grinned. They smiled back and nodded once more.  
Suddenly a thought hit him, "But... does that  
mean you have to go back?"  
Ranko hopped to her feet and grinned at him,  
"Oddly enough, no. For some reason our old assignment  
from way back suddenly kicked in again."  
Akane quoted, "'The Goddesses Tendo Akane and  
Ranko Tendo are hereby sent to Earth in order to  
maintain a watch on the individual known by the  
nomenclature Ranma Saotome for an indefinite period,  
with the intent of familiarizing themselves with  
Earth and observing the actions of individual Ranma  
Saotome.'"  
"So you're staying?" Ranma laughed, "Both of  
you are staying?"  
Akane looked at him fondly, "You big silly. It  
wasn't the contract that made us want to stay in the  
first place."  
Ranko added with a wink, "Yeah. If that order  
hadn't arrived, we probably would've found some way  
to keep Akane here anyway."  
"Thanks..."  
Ranko walked to the door and threw them a  
backwards glance, "Well, I'll get back to the  
party..."  
"Party?" Ranma asked in confusion.  
Akane grinned sheepishly at him, "Well,  
apparently the Martial Arts Varsity's post-production  
party got a little out of hand."  
Ranko laughed, "Yeah. They've been going strong  
since last night and the survivors managed to stagger  
here for more food and booze after they ran out at  
the dorm." She opened the door, "I'll just leave you  
two lovebirds alone..." she said with a hint of a sad  
smile.  
"Ranko... wait, I..." Ranma began to call her  
back. Surely there was something more he could say?  
Something more he could offer her.  
She held her hand up, "No. Don't say anything  
else. Don't make this harder than it has to be. I  
know enough, Ranma. I know how you feel about  
Akane... and I know you don't feel the same way about  
me and I can take it. I'm a big girl. I want what  
makes you happy, got that? If Akane makes you happy,  
then I'm happy."  
Ranma was silent.  
Akane stood up and gave her a hug, "Thanks,  
Ranko."  
Ranko smiled at her. She inclined her head in  
Ranma's direction, "I'll let you two have some  
privacy." Her grin widened, "You know, a little of  
the wink, wink, nudge, nudge."  
Akane and Ranma both blushed scarlet, "Ranko!"  
She giggled and stuck her tongue out at them as  
she stepped through the door. "I'll have em crank up  
the music so no one can hear the moaning and  
screaming."  
Akane just gaped at her, shocked speechless.  
"You really should reward Ranma for saving your  
life you know, Akane-chan." Ranko grinned just as she  
stepped out and slid the door closed.  
Akane knelt down next to Ranma and glanced at  
him, her face still burning from embarrassment,  
"Will she be okay?" Ranma asked quietly.  
Akane nodded thoughtfully, "Yes... I think she  
will be."  
He smiled, "That's good."  
Akane returned it, "It's nice to see her  
chipper again."  
"And nice to see you two getting along," Ranma  
replied.  
"Yes." Akane smiled, looking at Ranma now,  
"Yes, we are. I think we can credit you with that  
too."  
"Er... well, you guys usually end up fighting  
over me, so... I don't think that counts." He replied  
sheepishly.  
She knelt next to him and looked into his eyes.  
She spoke seriously. "There's still more that I owe  
you for."  
Ranma, perhaps feeling a lingering bit of  
Ranko-ness in his soul made him put on a playful  
grin, "So... DO I get a reward?"  
Akane leaned forward, their faces inches from  
each other as she replied softly, "Come and get it."  
He hesitated for a moment. But not a long  
moment. And in short notice, he did.  
And it was better than either of them could  
have wished.

Outside, in the hallway, Ranko leaned her back  
against a wall. Her eyes were shut tightly as she  
tried to control herself.  
It hurt. It hurt more than she imagined it  
would to give him up. A single tear traced a path  
down her cheek, unheeded. Somehow, despite herself,  
at the same time she was happy as well. It was the  
right thing to do. An understanding of everything...  
and perhaps a resolution. She loved him... no... she  
loved them both too much to do any less.  
A calm overtook her finally, her heart settling  
back into place. She was at peace with her choice.  
The future still held surprises, perhaps. She grinned  
and glanced down at the blanket she had draped over  
her. she had been so caught up by events that she  
hadn't even remembered to change into something more  
appropriate. She grinned as a thought occurred to  
her. She could almost imagine their reactions  
to seeing her in this get up. She shrugged. Time  
enough for such thoughts later. But now... now it was  
time to party... and perhaps time enough to forget...  
even if just for a little while.  
She sauntered confidently into the living room,  
where amidst sprawled and unconscious members of the  
Varsity, Ryouga was half drunkenly arguing with  
Ukyou, while Natsume clung to his arm and Mousse was  
nodding, stupidly drunk to the music, while Shampoo  
was... nibbling on his ear? She smirked. Day light  
was apparently no barrier to a party which had lasted  
over sixteen hours already. This looked like a fun  
crowd to be with right now. It was time to have bit  
of fun. It was time for her to make a little noise.

The End


End file.
